Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10343 Aug 22, 2013
Reading some cute jokes:

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, "Sister, this is a silent monastery.
You are welcome here as long as you like,
but you may not speak until directed to do so. "

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years
before the Priest said to her,
"Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may
speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said,
“Hard bed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," the Priest said,
"We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was summoned by the
Priest.
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine."

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine,
and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.
On her 15th anniversary at the monastery,
the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine in to his office.
"You may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best," said the Priest,
"You've done nothing but bitch since you got here."

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10344 Aug 22, 2013
This panicked man runs into an animal hospital holding his limp, unmoving dog in his arms. He screams at the veterinarian,“Help me! My dog is sick!”

The vet takes one look at the dog and says,“I’m sorry sir, but your dog is dead.”

The man, in disbelief, yells,“You didn’t even do anything. How do you know my dog is dead?”

The vet then directs the man to a room and tells the man to put his dog on the table. The veterinarian then leaves the room. A few moments pass and the vet returns with a house cat. The cat jumps on the table and sniffs at the dog. The cat paws at the lifeless creature. The cat then lets out a sad meow and leaves the room. The vet leaves with the cat. A few more moments go by and the vet returns with a Labrador Retriever. The Labrador Retriever does the same thing, jumps on the table, paws and sniffs at the lifeless dog, lets out a sad yelp and leaves the room. The vet leaves with him. The vet then returns. In his hand he is holding a piece of paper. He hands the paper to the man and says,“It is like I told you sir, your dog is dead. I am sorry for your loss.” The shocked man looks down at the paper in his hand and totally freaks out,“FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS TO TELL ME MY DOG IS DEAD?!”

“Well sir, if you had listened to me in the first place, it would have been fifty, but you wanted the CAT scan and lab tests.”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10345 Aug 22, 2013
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10346 Aug 22, 2013
THE ITALIAN
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Italian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,“Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Italian replies:“Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#10347 Aug 22, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>
Good news is if the other spouse has a benefited job, they will make them use those benefits, so there's no dual coverage. I had someone freaking out... that she would no longer be covered.
Well at least that's good.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#10348 Aug 22, 2013
Lol
_Susan_ wrote:
THE ITALIAN
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.
The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Italian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Italian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Italian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says,“Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The Italian replies:“Where else in New York City can I park my Ferrari for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#10349 Aug 22, 2013
_Susan_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Well at least that's good.
She's a super healthy lady anyway but... You never know.

So tonight I'm getting bombed with Walmart ads And sunglass company. I tried that adblock and it doesn't work.

“For F***'s Sake”

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

Tanner Flats

#10350 Aug 22, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>
That's so true! lol
A friend of mine out of curiosity took his Runde made Schon to a pawn shop, just to see what they'd offer him. They said they couldn't go any higher than 50 bucks and it was a 1500$ cue.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#10351 Aug 22, 2013
Hi USA!

“For F***'s Sake”

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

Tanner Flats

#10352 Aug 22, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
Hi USA!
Hi Perse :)

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10353 Aug 22, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>
Okay now I remember the case. I was kind of hoping back then that they would for him. Free. Also he looks like a lot of women I know in drag. I used to see some really beautiful and makes that were men. Well the Fed say they're not going to pay for his sex reassignment while he's incarcerated. I believe you lose that right when you come incarcerated. If he was already taking hormones that would be different. You should have started that before his sentencing. Well let's see how that plays out.
There’s been court cases on it. If it’s a medical condition, they have to treat it. I doubt the courts will make an exception for the military.

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#10354 Aug 22, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>I'm very angry to hear that UPS is cut spousal benefits. That's ridiculous. Many doctors have opted out of the Obama care Medicaid expansion And many doctors will not take Medicare patients. Many people don't know the difference. The difference in the social entitlements Like Medicare and Medicaid Are less of a payoff for a doctor. What's coming is going to be a big mess. I feel for those people under major hospital plans That has decided to take on the Medicaid aspects In the expansion. Many states do not offer a list of doctors that take Medicaid patients, I believe those people will wind up in the Major hospitals. I have looked at rate comparisons for the new covered Benefits for those who wish to pay for Obamacare And they're very fair. But those on Medicaid Will be discriminated against. This is only my opinion but some of its based on fact. I see a bwhole bunch of new lawsuits coming out.
Tip of the iceberg.

You already have many businesses cutting folks hours to less than 30 hours. Most of these folks were already just barely getting by as it is. Anyone with half a brain could have predicted that many employers would simply cut folks hours to less than 30 hours a week, rather than provide them with health insurance, which on average costs 16 k for a family. Problem with that is, they factored that these employers would simply offer these folks insurance and bear the majority of the costs associated with providing them with insurance, i.e. would help fund it, but our Community Organizer in Chief, who has never worked in business was too dopey to realize that companies will go through great lengths to avoid incurring such massive costs. Given this, these folks will now receive taxpayer funded healthcare, such costs will simply be passed off onto taxpayers, and the costs for Obamacare will be more than they anticipated.

You already have unions whining that the Cadillac tax is going to apply to them and their benefits are going to be cut. Again, anyone with half a brain could have predicted that EVERY employer would simply cut folks insurance benefits rather than pay a 50% tax or whatever it is for every dollar spent over the Cadillac plan amount. Problem with that is, they factored that some of that Cadillac plan tax money would help fund it, but our Community Organizer in Chief, who has never worked in business was too dopey to realize that companies will pretty much bend over backwards to avoid paying such a steep tax. Mark my words, almost no company in America will ever pay that tax.

They also thought that all these kids in their early 20s would pony up 300-400 a month to buy themselves insurance, which would help keep costs more affordable for older folks, but these kids don’t have money to do that. They would rather pay the fine. Insurance companies on the exchanges are offering prices for the first year figure these folks will sign up, but they won’t … so costs for these plans are going to go up in future years. Some kid in his early 20s, making $8 or $9 an hour, isn’t going to take 25% of his/her take home pay and buy health insurance that they will likely never even use, just so that older folks who need health insurance can pay less for theirs. Again, Mr. Kumbaya Community Organizer in Chief failed to appreciate this basic common sense understanding

You are going to have 30 million more folks with medical coverage who will essentially overnight be able to see a doctor, without increasing the supply of doctors. Wait times for everyone are going to balloon.

I won’t even get into all the other gimmicks they pulled to make it seem less costly than it is.

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#10355 Aug 22, 2013
YO NEIGHBOR!!

It Is Wayyyy past YOUR Kid's Bedtime..

STOP WITH THE DRUM CIRCLE... ALREADY!!!

DON'T make me Coooome OVER there!!!

DID you JUST Give ME..THE LOOK???

THAT DID IT!!!

Noooo Ice Cream Party for You..DUDE!!
Perry Masonite

New York, NY

#10356 Aug 22, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>The kicker is that they invest so much time and effort trying to uncover things about other posters, for the sole purpose of trying to turn other posters against each other; however, even if that were to happen, any sane person in their right mind would STILL think they all were bat shyte crazy for how obsessive they are, how invested they are in silly feuds, and how they conduct themselves.

They donÂ’t EVEN realize this.

They HONESTLY think folks are going to say,“thank you for saving me from Perse, Kevin, and Sue. I’m so glad you have no life such that you were able to spend years of your life dedicated to a topix blog and dedicated to gray boxing, switching IP addresses, and harassing them. There is nothing odd with this and it’s completely normal for grown adults to act like you have. In fact, when I was asked in kindergarten what I wanted to be when I grew up, that is what I said I wanted to be and how I wanted to act! I’m so happy you did not give up on me … your obsessive compulsive nature FINALLY resulted in my seeing the light and seeing Perse, Kevin, and Sue for the evil people they are and you for as the completely sane, normal people that you are. I don't know what took me so long. How blind could I be? Let’s be friends … I now hope to be a fellow hen in the hen house and start posting on the middle aged man’s topix blog, because that’s what sane people do.”

I think some people are incapable of stepping back and analyzing their own behavior through an objective lens. I really suggest that they each tell someone they know in real life, who they trust, and who does not know them from her, that they have a friend of theirs who acts like they do, and see what this friend says about it. It will give them the perspective they are sorely lacking.
Well said, young lawyer for the downtrodden tards!
normal norman

New York, NY

#10357 Aug 22, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>What are you talking about? Everybody likes me!!! I'm an angel!:p

_Susan_ wrote, "<quoted text>
I find it very odd that no-one else seems to have realized this. In fact, they seem to find it completely normal behavior. Do you think they would behave like this with folks in real life. Perhaps they hate their SIL, do they send her hate mail, follow her around in the mall, try to turn her husband and children and the rest of the family against her. Do they send all of her personal information, such as credit card numbers and her bank account numbers to the neighbors or publish them in the newspaper. LOLOLOL! It is just pathetic."

That's EXACTLY what I see it as.

I am absolutely mystified that the folks who act this way don't realize it for what it is, but what is EVEN more mystifying to me is that there are SOME who weren't EVEN involved in the underlying turn of events that generated these personal disputes who are somehow able to overlook the behavior we describe ... as if there is nothing wrong with it and itÂ’s perfectly normal.

In fact, some of them even decide itÂ’s so normal that they want to get in on the action and be a part of it themselves and/or encourage it.

Huh?
you have to admit, it's much more interesting to read, than endlessly discussing ricky's wallet.
normal norman

New York, NY

#10358 Aug 22, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>This is great!
thank you ... I know how to please and excite your cravings.
normal norman

New York, NY

#10359 Aug 22, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>Maybe but the whole point is to find a way to get them to leave due to boredom. I started this thread for a different reason bro, for it NOT to be about them but more about us.
that's just boring.
Perry Masonite

New York, NY

#10360 Aug 22, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>I just saw his picture as a woman. <cringe>

I didn't see his case as being like Snowdens. I am actually glad Snowden came forward and see him as a whistle blower. I have no doubt much of what the NSA is doing will be struck down as unconstitutional, and had he not came forward, no one would have known what they are doing, except those who were doing it and who were bound to secrecy. The only way for it to come to light was for someone to break their oath.

I'm also 100% sure, had this been going on during a republican administration, there would be calls for impeachment and the press would lead off every nightly news with stories about it.

I'm actually quiet amazed that there is not more outrage. My assistant and her husband are democrats and they are not happy about it. I wish more on the left would voice their opposition to it, instead of blaming it on Bush and giving Barack a pass. It's almost as if, since they voted for him, they can't bring themselves to criticism anything that happens on his watch.
I am quiet amazed when people criticism your lawyerly credentials.
Susan does this

New York, NY

#10361 Aug 22, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>I just came out today, I think.
make your mind up.
norman

New York, NY

#10362 Aug 22, 2013
_Susan_ wrote:
<quoted text>I agree, I'm done.

So where is the rest of my cash? I hope you don't really think that $5.00 is yours!
we decided that this subject has become boring and we'd rather read some troll humor.

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