“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#7147 Jul 31, 2013
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the rottweiler who lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!
"That must've been scary", said the teacher.
"It sure was", said the little girl. "My kitty went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'... and before he could say "F*ck," the rottweiler ate him!"

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#7148 Jul 31, 2013
Two boys are playing football at this park in a small town in Alabama when one of the boys is suddenly attacked by a crazed Rottweiler.
Thinking quickly, the other boy takes a stick and shoves it under the dog's collar, twists it, and breaks the dog's neck, thus saving his friend.

A local sports reporter who was strolling by sees the incident and rushes over to interview the boy. He tells the boy he's going to write the story and says, "I'll title it 'Young Bama Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal.'"

"But I'm not a Bama fan," the little hero replies. "Sorry, since we're in Alabama, I just assumed you were," says the reporter and he starts writing again. He asks "How does Auburn Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack' sound?"

"I'm not an Auburn fan either," the boy says. Oh, I thought everyone in Alabama was either for the Tide or the Tigers. What team do you root for?" the reporter asks.

"I'm just visiting my cousin, I'm a Tennessee Vols fan," said the boy.
The reporter smiles, starts a new sheet in his notebook, and writes:
"Little Redneck Bastard From Tennessee Kills Beloved Family Pet".

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#7149 Jul 31, 2013
Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death .
I Shall Fear No Evil.
For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!

(Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena , Japan ).

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7151 Jul 31, 2013
water_nymph wrote:
<quoted text> Thanks, Ricky. I am not spending nearly as much time on Topix as I used to. Got lots going on. School starts this Friday and I'll be helping take grandchildren to two schools. Boy, it was nice when they all went to one school! But it gives me that much more time with them.
Howyadoin?
Doing fine thanks!

That's a beating! Going to one school is bad enough, but two? I couldn't do it, I would run over some kids, I'm too impatient, lol.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7152 Jul 31, 2013
PRIME RIB wrote:
howdy people. whoever you may be :)
Hey Prime Rib, nice to meet you!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7153 Jul 31, 2013
PRIME RIB wrote:
howdy people. whoever you may be :)
And welcome!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7154 Jul 31, 2013
Colorado Chick wrote:
YO NEIGHBOR!!!
YOUR HORN IS HONKING...YOUR ALARM CLOCK IS BUZZING.. YOUR DOG IS BARKING....
DON T MAKE.ME...Come OVER There... TWERP!!
Please dog, the rottweilers are bored, lol.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#7155 Jul 31, 2013
Oh, okay
I know of one other like that. Only he doesn't claim to have any degrees. He doesn't like white people either Just makes claims o beating them up.
_USA_ wrote:
<quoted text>Hellywood is a moron, he claims to have a Doctorate in political science, but he won't disclose what his career is or anything else. He just goes from thread to thread bashing white people, so I just continuously call him out on his lies and hypocrisy. Myself Naturally Wired, PURELYCANADIAN Whisgean Zoda and Tasmaniac have been going at it with him and his goonbas for about a year now.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#7156 Jul 31, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>And welcome!
Good morning Ricky! Thanks for the latest installment of the voyeur show.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7158 Jul 31, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>
Good morning Ricky! Thanks for the latest installment of the voyeur show.
You're welcome!

“cat lover”

Level 6

Since: Jul 07

Tucson

#7159 Jul 31, 2013
good morning everyone and have a great day MEOW MEOW :)

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Location hidden

#7160 Jul 31, 2013
Good morning wonderful neighbors.

:)

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7161 Jul 31, 2013
Good morning wonderful neighbors.

:p

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#7162 Jul 31, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
Good morning wonderful neighbors.
:p
Good morning.
Put away the rolling pin...

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7163 Jul 31, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text> Put away the rolling pin...
Yes, please put that rolling pin away. That Mrs. Sublime sure was kind of moody. Depending on her mood, she liked to whack me off and on.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#7164 Jul 31, 2013
LuAnn D wrote:
good morning everyone and have a great day MEOW MEOW :)
Hey watch the claws, I just stepped out of the shower! Lol

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#7165 Jul 31, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, please put that rolling pin away. That Mrs. Sublime sure was kind of moody. Depending on her mood, she liked to whack me off and on.
I would only use it to protect your virtue. Never on you. I don't work that way.
:)

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7166 Jul 31, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
<quoted text>
I would only use it to protect your virtue. Never on you. I don't work that way.
:)
Oh, I wouldn’t worry about that. I don't think anyone was trying to pick me up.

I was actually making a funny at Mrs Sublime’s expense. Read it again. I'm sneaky like that.

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7167 Jul 31, 2013
Nice avatar, Perse. Is that your guy's bike? What kind is it again?

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#7168 Jul 31, 2013
I thought you mentioned something about him owning one or am I confusing you with someone else?

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