For Dear FlowerChild

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21425 Jul 31, 2013
Rotor Head wrote:
<quoted text>3 thumbs up.....
>mwah<

&fe ature=youtu.be

do you know all the words to it? Let's sing it together ... shew

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21426 Jul 31, 2013
or is it "shoop?" ... All I know is that I've heard that song 3 times this past week and it's in my head, man! LOL ...

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21427 Jul 31, 2013
Missed you, Rotor! >double mwah<

“268th Attack Hel Bn”

Level 8

Since: May 07

AH-1S Cobra

#21428 Jul 31, 2013
Flower-Child wrote:
Missed you, Rotor! >double mwah<
JUst been working my poor old butt off hun. Out early, exhausted when I get home. You know the deal.I need to win Powerball.....

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21429 Aug 1, 2013
Good morning and back with us once again right here on "For Dear FlowerChild" ....... is our NOT so favorite squatty body, jiggly fat, baby bottle sucking, diaper wearing dwarf Voyeur!

But before he starts his act, he wants to everyone he loves you almost as much as Donkey!

~~~~~~~~~~

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21430 Aug 1, 2013
Life as a cat

Make the world your playground.

Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps.

If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do.

When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up.

Always find a good patch of sun to nap in.

Nap often.

When in trouble, just purr and look cute.

Life is hard, and then you nap.

Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.

When in doubt, cop an attitude.

Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them.

Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there.

Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner.

Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21431 Aug 1, 2013
Women

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them,

when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Men

Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shoot out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21432 Aug 1, 2013
Understanding the game

At one point during a game, the little-league coach called one of his 7-year-old soccer players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together, as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a dumb a**hole' is it?''

The little boy shook his head from side to side.

"Good," said the coach. "now go over there and explain all that to your mother."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21433 Aug 1, 2013
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful ... CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful ... CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What the hell is wrong with you?
"You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving with you in the bloody car."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21434 Aug 1, 2013
Rules For Men
A motorist was pulled over by a traffic policeman.‘Excuse me, sir,’ said the officer.‘Do you realize your wife fell out of the car about two miles back?’

‘Thank God,’ the man replied.‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21435 Aug 1, 2013
You Know You're a Hillbilly When...2011 EDITION

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a fly swatter.

3. Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.

4. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

5. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

6. You think the Nutcracker is something you do off the high dive.

7. The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

8. Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.

9. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

10. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

11. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

12. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

13. Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

14. You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.

15. You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

16. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

17. Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.

18. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

19. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

20. You have used a rag for a gas cap.

21. Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.

22. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

23. You can spit without opening your mouth.

24. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

25. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

26. You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.

27. You have a complete set of salad bowls, and they all say Cool Whip on the side.

28. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart.

29. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

30. You missed 5th grade graduation because you had jury duty.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#21436 Aug 1, 2013
Thanks folks, that's the end of my show for now!

YOU ROCK!!!!

And please pay tribute to your men & women in uniform

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/topix/TF8E3AM...

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#21437 Aug 1, 2013

“100% Princess”

Level 8

Since: Jan 07

and totally harmless

#21438 Aug 1, 2013
Good morning Flower. Cooper was "helping" again yesterday in the garden. We (and by that I mean ME) finished weeding the apple mint, and chocolate mint--on to the lavender....lol.

We've had the strangest summer. Cool and wet (for the most part) by now, the "water works" are always turned off and I can start to slow down. But this year, it seems as soon as I get one thing weeded, it rains and boom! more weeds somewhere else.....

Oh well--where is Al Gore when you need him? I'd put him to work pulling weeds....lol

“Shadowville All-Stars”

Level 5

Since: Dec 08

Columbus, GA

#21439 Aug 1, 2013
Hitesrunprincess wrote:
<quoted text>Cloudy is nice--especially when accompanied by a cool breeze. That's what we have this AM. Supposed to turn off beastly hot this week though.....
The sun rose and is out for the moment... I wouldn't count on it remaining that way down here in Georgia though!

--
Music & poetry from Will Dockery & The Shadowville All-Stars:
http://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21440 Aug 1, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
Morning Ricky! You're Mr Jocularity for this Thursday aren't you? Thanks for the jokes ... That Honda commercial was pretty clever ... Thanks for sharing and have an awesomeday! FC <3 ...

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21441 Aug 1, 2013
Hitesrunprincess wrote:
Good morning Flower. Cooper was "helping" again yesterday in the garden. We (and by that I mean ME) finished weeding the apple mint, and chocolate mint--on to the lavender....lol.
We've had the strangest summer. Cool and wet (for the most part) by now, the "water works" are always turned off and I can start to slow down. But this year, it seems as soon as I get one thing weeded, it rains and boom! more weeds somewhere else.....
Oh well--where is Al Gore when you need him? I'd put him to work pulling weeds....lol
Good morning, Princess ... you and Rose Bud do more weeding than anyone I know, doncha know? lol ... we've had the normal summer, for the most part, HOT! triple digits all week with no rain in sight so you and everyone else have rain can just send it on over ... And, where is old Al when we need him? lol ... No painters today, and I need a break from them anyway! I just hope "the help" gets here in a better mood than she did yesterday ... I sent her home after hearing my vacuum cleaner crash on my oak flooring and the mop and sweeper crash also ... I mean she can't do all 3 at one time so why try to juggle them and then complain "there's too much stuff in the way" REALLY? Goodness ... She hasn't worked all week anyway, problem on Monday, car problems on Wednesday, I'm her punching bag on Wednesday, Girl just go home and take your attitude with you ... but she had a good time on FaceBook last night as I could plainly see ... Makes me feel she was acting that way on purpose because she knew I wouldn't stand for her attitude ... could be a paradigm shift on my part or my perception, whatever ... it was what it was ... okay, done venting ... Thanks! LOL ... Today, in penance ... double work, ha! Well, to day is my last day of P.T. Ortho appointment is Tuesday and he'll probably release me, yippee ... Then, no excuse not to go back to the gym ... I went back one day but I wasn't really ready ... Now, I think I'm ready ... What would you do for Klondike bar? shucks, nothing but an orange popsicle ... have an awesome day, pretty one!

Hearts hugs and popsicles ...

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21442 Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 1966:
An ex-Marine goes on a killing spree at the University of Texas
Previous DayAugust 1CalendarNext Day

..........

Charles Whitman takes a stockpile of guns and ammunition to the observatory platform atop a 300-foot tower at the University of Texas and proceeds to shoot 46 people, killing 14 people and wounding 31. A fifteenth died in 2001 because of his injuries. Whitman, who had killed both his wife and mother the night before, was eventually shot to death after courageous Austin police officers, including Ramiro Martinez, charged up the stairs of the tower to subdue the attacker.

Whitman, a former Eagle Scout and Marine, began to suffer serious mental problems after his mother left his father in March 1966. On March 29, he told a psychiatrist that he was having uncontrollable fits of anger. He purportedly even told this doctor that he was thinking about going up to the tower with a rifle and shooting people. Unfortunately, the doctor didn't follow up on this red flag.

On July 31, Whitman wrote a note about his violent impulses, saying, "After my death, I wish an autopsy on me be performed to see if there's any mental disorders." The note then described his hatred for his family and his intent to kill them. That night, Whitman went to his mother's home, where he stabbed and shot her. Upon returning to his own home, he then stabbed his wife to death.

The following morning, Whitman headed for the tower with several pistols and a rifle after stopping off at a gun store to buy boxes of ammunition and a carbine. Packing food and other supplies, he proceeded to the observation platform, killing the receptionist and two tourists before unpacking his rifle and telescope and hunting the people below.

An expert marksman, Whitman was able to hit people as far away as 500 yards. For 90 minutes, he continued firing while officers searched for a chance to get a shot at him. By the end of his rampage, 16 people were dead and another 30 were injured.

The University of Texas tower remained closed for 25 years before reopening in 1999.

..........

I'll never forget this day ... I was all but 12 years old, but I still remember ...

“TEXAS ... SECEDE”

Since: Feb 08

REPUBLIC OF TEXAS

#21443 Aug 1, 2013
Will Dockery wrote:
<quoted text>
The sun rose and is out for the moment... I wouldn't count on it remaining that way down here in Georgia though!
--
Music & poetry from Will Dockery & The Shadowville All-Stars:
http://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery
Good morning, Will ... the sun is shining very bright and beaming hot as well ... Jax has surely found some shady place to hide from it but doesn't exactly want to come in ... another triple digit day and you're lucky to get some rain everyday even if it's just in short spouts ... Soap opera on and then off to PT ... Enjoy your day, Will ... catch up to you later! Peace & Love ~ FC <3 ...

“Standin' In A”

Level 8

Since: May 11

Shaft Of Light

#21444 Aug 1, 2013
Good morning Flower-Child.
For some reason, the apples up there made me think of the old saying:'The nuts don't fall too far from the tree.'. lol

It was entertaining though.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Word Association 2 (Sep '13) 1 min Jennifer Renee 12,656
*Classical music Thread* 1 min Just Roxie 48
Interesting Quotes (Jun '11) 1 min Old Sam 14,568
News Naked man, 81, arrested for 'having sex with bu... 1 min Alain Vain 4
2015: "Make a Story/ 6 Words Only: 1 min Cyan in CA 1,897
News Evolution vs. Creation (Jul '11) 1 min dirtclod 171,672
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 1 min wichita-rick 167,066
JUST SAY SOMETHING. Whatever comes to mind!! (Aug '09) 1 min mobil 29,511
More from around the web