Can Married Women Be Friends With Sin...

Can Married Women Be Friends With Single Men?

Created by Friendship on Jan 30, 2012

479 votes

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Sure! Why Not?!!!

No! It's Wrong!

Not Sure!

Just Friends And Nothing More!!

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

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#2965 Feb 20, 2013
You'll know who your real friends are sooner or later.

“I was a Grim Reaper”

Level 8

Since: Apr 07

But now I take antidepressants

#2966 Feb 20, 2013
john8_32 wrote:
Married women should be able to be friends with single men, but the truth is that it is not a good idea at all. I don't think that, in most cases, it honors the married woman's husband. I think that even if the husband says it's ok that that there could be something in the back of his mind that might cause him to have doubt and feel unsettled or even insecure. I think that it's best to be cautious and not take any risks at all. Honestly, I do not think that "most" men genuinely have an interest in being "just friends" with a woman. In my experience there's always been a hidden agenda. It just isn't worth the risk.
I will agree with you that many men can't be friends with a woman.

Level 2

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#2967 Feb 20, 2013
john8_32 wrote:
Married women should be able to be friends with single men, but the truth is that it is not a good idea at all. I don't think that, in most cases, it honors the married woman's husband. I think that even if the husband says it's ok that that there could be something in the back of his mind that might cause him to have doubt and feel unsettled or even insecure. I think that it's best to be cautious and not take any risks at all. Honestly, I do not think that "most" men genuinely have an interest in being "just friends" with a woman. In my experience there's always been a hidden agenda. It just isn't worth the risk.
I generally agree with what you say. A married person having opposite sex friends is not something that everyone can handle without jeopardizing one's marriage. While it is a bit extreme to forbid a spouse from even talking to a member of the opposite sex, no ground rules whatsoever is equally ill advised.

Whether or not one can prudently pull it off all depends on a number of factors including motivation for having such friends in the first place. Other factors include the motivations of the friend and whether or not he or she has any sexual attraction toward you and that can sometimes be hard to determine. Being too friendly can also send the wrong messages to an opposite sex friend. My own advice is proceed with extreme caution with opposite sex friends as unintended consequences are a possibility.

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#2968 Aug 22, 2013
Packanack Lake wrote:
<quoted text>I generally agree with what you say. A married person having opposite sex friends is not something that everyone can handle without jeopardizing one's marriage. While it is a bit extreme to forbid a spouse from even talking to a member of the opposite sex, no ground rules whatsoever is equally ill advised.
Whether or not one can prudently pull it off all depends on a number of factors including motivation for having such friends in the first place. Other factors include the motivations of the friend and whether or not he or she has any sexual attraction toward you and that can sometimes be hard to determine. Being too friendly can also send the wrong messages to an opposite sex friend. My own advice is proceed with extreme caution with opposite sex friends as unintended consequences are a possibility.
....or just wing it and let the chips fall as they may.

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

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#2969 Aug 22, 2013
All depends on the people...

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#2970 Aug 22, 2013
Just sleep with them, you don't have to be friends. Right?

“Standin' In A”

Level 8

Since: May 11

Shaft Of Light

#2971 Aug 22, 2013
honeymylove wrote:
All depends on the people...
And the definition of friends...

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#2974 Aug 22, 2013
HELL YEAH!!

It's the HUBBY who has ISSUES with the Relationship!!

They WILL never THINK that's it is ONLY Friendship!!!

Thus, This WILL lead to arguments between the spouses.. Which WILL eventually Lead to EITHER the wife giving up her Male Pal OR the Hubby Beating the Living Hell out of the Male Pal..as a WARNING...NOT TO TOUCH!!!

Sooooome Hubby's are Just POSSESSIVE... NEVER..TRUSTING their Wives..

FREAKIN' CONTROL FREAKS,!!

“If you're happy & you know it”

Level 7

Since: Feb 13

clap your hands!

#2975 Aug 22, 2013
I don't see the issue. Almost all of my friends are guys...and most of them are single. If your mate don't trust you enough to allow you to choose your own friends then maybe you should reconsider your relationship.

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#2976 Aug 22, 2013
Kathlene wrote:
Dave Matthews Band says it best:

"A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other...Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever."
That can happen, but only where there is mutual physical attraction on top of friendship. That is not always there.

There will always be at least some tension where it is mutual and what you say is probably often true in that case if you spend enough time around each other, especially if you really click and the physical attraction is very strong ... That can lead to passion ... and would be difficult to keep it as just friends, unlike where one of you is like meh, he or she is not too bad looking and kind of attractive and we are friends.

Mutually speaking, that's really hard to find, friend or not, though.

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#2977 Aug 23, 2013
Knock off purse seller wrote:
My wife his friends with a man, it's no big deal – they hang out together with these other women he does, and talk and watch movies and things while I'm at work. I guess since she's doing that so much of the time, she's not out spending money since she always seems to have lots of extra cash these days. And some of the movies they watch must be sexy or something since when we make love these days, she knows so many new things we never did before! Plus her vocabulary in that area has grown, and she's much more into role-playing. So I guess their innocent friendship is a good thing!
Sounds like you are reaping the rewards of your wifes friendships, kudos to you!!!! Not only that, but you probably don't have to hear all the incessant non-important rantings and talking that wives do....because I'd guess that she does that with her other male friends and not you!!!! Double lucky you are!!!!

I envy you.

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#2978 Aug 23, 2013
ShadyBits wrote:
I don't see the issue. Almost all of my friends are guys...and most of them are single. If your mate don't trust you enough to allow you to choose your own friends then maybe you should reconsider your relationship.
This sounds a bit oversimplified to me on your part. Any spouse who might raise concerns about an opposite sex friendship going too far obviously values his or her marriage. If my wife allowed me to pursue opposite sex friendships without any restriction or reservation. I would then wonder if she still even loves me. Having some jealousy in the right measure on my wife's part is actually reassuring to me and serves to enhance the marriage by making me feel wanted.

My marriage is far more important than any opposite sex friendship, period. Anybody who values his/her opposite sex friends more than his/her marriage likely never should have been married in the first place. Anybody contemplating marriage ought to discuss this issue in depth before getting married. It is better to address this issue before marriage than after.

When married people have opposite sex friends, unintended consequences are very possible if proper boundaries are not observed. I can only hope you do observe responsible ground rules. Carelessness by either spouse with an opposite sex friend could unnecessarily lead to a divorce. Divorces can cost a lot of money and impact one's life very negatively. Opposite sex friendships can morph into affairs.

A lot would depend on just what the friendship entails. I would never go alone to a female's place of residence on something that was purely a social visit. And if a female friend did not equally accept my wife as a friend, something like that would be grounds for me to terminate a friendship. If I were to see a female friend directing most of her attention to me or a male friend of my wife directing the bulk of his attention to her at the expense of the other, it would definitely raise red flags in my mind. One can also never be totally sure what goes on in the mind of the opposite sex friend.

I would strongly recommend against anything that would leave one alone with an opposite sex friend. One must also consider that the other man or woman whom one regards as a friend may have been motivated by physical or emotional attraction in the striking up of the friendship in the first place. People can often be in deep denial of their feelings toward members of the opposite sex that they call friends.



I would recommend these links about opposite sex friendships.

http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php...

http://firstthings.org/are-opposite-sex-frien...

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm...

http://foundationrestoration.org/2012/07/the-...

I sincerely hope these links can be of help.

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#2979 Aug 23, 2013
honeymylove wrote:
All depends on the people...
You have the right idea. Some people can handle it wisely while others can't or won't.

“If you're happy & you know it”

Level 7

Since: Feb 13

clap your hands!

#2980 Aug 24, 2013
flbadcatowner wrote:
<quoted text>This sounds a bit oversimplified to me on your part. Any spouse who might raise concerns about an opposite sex friendship going too far obviously values his or her marriage. If my wife allowed me to pursue opposite sex friendships without any restriction or reservation. I would then wonder if she still even loves me. Having some jealousy in the right measure on my wife's part is actually reassuring to me and serves to enhance the marriage by making me feel wanted.
My marriage is far more important than any opposite sex friendship, period. Anybody who values his/her opposite sex friends more than his/her marriage likely never should have been married in the first place. Anybody contemplating marriage ought to discuss this issue in depth before getting married. It is better to address this issue before marriage than after.
When married people have opposite sex friends, unintended consequences are very possible if proper boundaries are not observed. I can only hope you do observe responsible ground rules. Carelessness by either spouse with an opposite sex friend could unnecessarily lead to a divorce. Divorces can cost a lot of money and impact one's life very negatively. Opposite sex friendships can morph into affairs.
A lot would depend on just what the friendship entails. I would never go alone to a female's place of residence on something that was purely a social visit. And if a female friend did not equally accept my wife as a friend, something like that would be grounds for me to terminate a friendship. If I were to see a female friend directing most of her attention to me or a male friend of my wife directing the bulk of his attention to her at the expense of the other, it would definitely raise red flags in my mind. One can also never be totally sure what goes on in the mind of the opposite sex friend.
I would strongly recommend against anything that would leave one alone with an opposite sex friend. One must also consider that the other man or woman whom one regards as a friend may have been motivated by physical or emotional attraction in the striking up of the friendship in the first place. People can often be in deep denial of their feelings toward members of the opposite sex that they call friends.
I would recommend these links about opposite sex friendships.
http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php...
http://firstthings.org/are-opposite-sex-frien...
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm...
http://foundationrestoration.org/2012/07/the-...
I sincerely hope these links can be of help.
I think I can follow the "rules" and still be friends with whomever I choose and should not have to worry about overstepping boundaries. If I felt I needed to cheat (whether physically or emotionally) I would just leave my spouse. It would not be fair to either of us if one of us was not 100% committed. That being said, being that I was raised by my father, had almost only male friends growing up I find it hard to relate to women as I don't really feel I have much in common with them other than body parts... sorry, I feel more comfortable in the company of men and that's why most of my friends are men. It's the package I come in, take it or leave it. I don't need some website to tell me how I should live my life. I've made it this far just fine thank you very much.

Level 1

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#2981 Aug 24, 2013
ShadyBits wrote:
<quoted text>I think I can follow the "rules" and still be friends with whomever I choose and should not have to worry about overstepping boundaries. If I felt I needed to cheat (whether physically or emotionally) I would just leave my spouse. It would not be fair to either of us if one of us was not 100% committed. That being said, being that I was raised by my father, had almost only male friends growing up I find it hard to relate to women as I don't really feel I have much in common with them other than body parts... sorry, I feel more comfortable in the company of men and that's why most of my friends are men. It's the package I come in, take it or leave it. I don't need some website to tell me how I should live my life. I've made it this far just fine thank you very much.
I agree. Gender isn't an issue with many people, obviously. I guess, some people can't be friends with the opposite sex, though. To each his /her own. There's no cookie cutter rule to friendship. My friends are my friends, whatever sex they happen to be. I'm in a profession that enables people to forge wonderful, close bonds of friendship and trust that transcend gender roles or identity. It's awesome!

axxx

“here for fun”

Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#2982 Aug 24, 2013
i do not see were it would matter but would the wife allow the husband to have single female friends there is the big question

“If you're happy & you know it”

Level 7

Since: Feb 13

clap your hands!

#2983 Aug 24, 2013
axxx wrote:
i do not see were it would matter but would the wife allow the husband to have single female friends there is the big question
Admittedly the big guy is friends with a female who I absolutely abhor. I question her motives (to myself and never to him) as to her friendship with him because I know how women are (in my mind) and I know her reputation (if it's breathing, it's game) but... I trust my man is faithful and that's the end of that story.

axxx

“here for fun”

Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#2984 Aug 24, 2013
well you are one but how do you deal with it you say you know he is faithfull and you also know how she is that is were the problem lies in my mind

“If you're happy & you know it”

Level 7

Since: Feb 13

clap your hands!

#2985 Aug 24, 2013
axxx wrote:
well you are one but how do you deal with it you say you know he is faithfull and you also know how she is that is were the problem lies in my mind
He's got a friend, his best friend, who is an absolute dog.... he's offered to take him out and my brother in law has been there too and he's said more than once the big guy says no thanks. I love my woman she's more than I can handle and all I need.(Or so my brother in law told my sister....) I believe him. He's a good guy.

“If you're happy & you know it”

Level 7

Since: Feb 13

clap your hands!

#2986 Aug 24, 2013
^^ That sounds a bit naive but 16 years with him... I can read him like a book... or so I'd like to believe. If he was lying I'm sure I'd catch him. He's not very good at it and he really has no reason to lie. I'm a pretty open person and if he wanted someone else, I'd probably say go ahead. Grass ain't always greener.

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