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“Denny Crain”

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#23397
Feb 23, 2013
 

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RMQuinn37 wrote:
<quoted text>
Gasp! I thought that response was to Denny to put him in place ! I did not into intend to call YOU a criminal!!!!!
Children getting killed or killing by accident happens here often. Sad. Very irresponsible of the gun owner.
Enjoy the gardens. Are they in bloom already? There are garden and flower shows here - indoor of course - to give ideas in advance of the season.
Quinn more kids drown in swimming pools than die by accidents with guns. Are you for filling in back yard pools?

“Mid Summer Days”

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#23398
Feb 23, 2013
 
RMQuinn37 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's a lot of food for thought to respond to. There was something you mentioned earlier (no line items on my phone)- wakes and funerals are really for the living, those left behind. Our loved ones live on in the stories and memories we share others and as I was told in a grief support group, your relationship with your friend did not end ... it merely changed....she is in your heart and your memories and perhaps even some things you've learned .... the good in you. Those closest to us also help make us who we are.
As you say the process of grief is highly individual so those who tell people 'get over it' or 'move on' may be well meaning but they are wrong. It took me 13 years before I could finally enjoy some the Christmas traditions we shared and not end up in a crying fit -- mom died over 15 years ago so that oughta tell ya something.
The double edged sword of the human condition is our need for human connections -- they can bring joy life and devastation at the end of life.
The older I've gotten -- and many of you are a bit older and have seen even more of life -- the more I realize how short life is...make the best of your own life and enjoy each moment - once is past, it's past- and spend as much time with those you love and bring you joy.
Thanks sincerely for your response
and opinion.

I agree wakes are a wonderfully thought out therapy
[who so ever thought of it first] LOL..

Nice line of yours>

'Those closest help to make us who we are'
true, follow by example..

It certainly does help to keep alive
the image of the dead person, in often remembered
stories and anecdotes..
but I wouldn't call it
'keeping them alive'

it's more lovingly remembering them, in my opinion.

I think 'death' and parting is SO huge to grasp,
it's many elements, as you say it takes time...
but I feel impatient when I hear poems like..

'She/he is not really dead,
he's only a room away'
probably these sayings, poems etc..
are designed to help.. but the cold reality
is the person has died, is not coming back IS the harsh
reality of it...

I often think too, for those who think
religions are invented to make all of
us humans feel good about ourselves.
[and I've NO wish to offend anyone]

'The Hereafter' is designed to help
us get over death more gently,
a promise that we will see 'the deceased loved one'
again, and in a way, that is good,
because when 'we' eventually die,
IF there IS such as an afterlife, GREAT .. WONDERFUL..
if there is not... it won't matter.

“Mid Summer Days”

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#23399
Feb 23, 2013
 
eleanorigby wrote:
<quoted text>
Dear Grace...
strange you should speak in this way as this is something we have
been discussing between ourselves only this morning,'we' being P
and myself.
Sadly, age does not have the monopoly on death, my Father having
passed away at the age of 34 yrs..it is only then that I look back and think of the sadness of it. His 17 year old brother killed on the battlefields of WW1..a young man who we didn't know existed
due to the large age difference between them, until my family searches revealed his existence. Tragedies both, in different ways.
I regret to say that otherwise, I am quite philosiphal about death...that is my crutch, and however close I am to the deceased, it is to me, a natural way of things, particularly should they reach a grand old age.
All one can ask is that any suffering is slight, if at all.
Looking out the window at the beauty that is Wales, and bringing into the forefront of my mind the best times with those who I loved so much who are no longer here, I thank God for being blessed with the Joy of Life and the purpose, however small, I have in it.
Wishing you a Peaceful, warm and pleasant day my friend.
Interesting, El..

It is coincidental indeed that we both should
have the subject in mind .. LOL

telepathy!

Interesting what you say, and indeed,
as we know so well age has no meaning
when the 'Grim Reaper' decides to make a choice.

It is a great advantage that you are philosophical
about 'death' seeing it as
the natural order of things..

I know that too,
and ALTHOUGH, I 'know'
but when it comes to the death of someone close,
my emotions take the place of wisdom and common sense,
and I can't handle it lightly.

I agree fully about not wishing
to see a person suffering, not
wishing that the person might somehow 'hang on'
that would indeed be very selfish,
it is what gave me consolation recently
with my friend..

kinda like the age old saying
'If you love me enough, let me go'

that, strangely applies to DEATH too
in it's own way.

I loved this part of your post
quoting you >

"Looking out the window at the beauty that is Wales, and bringing into the forefront of my mind the best times with those who I loved so much who are no longer here, I thank God for being blessed with the Joy of Life and the purpose, however small, I have in it."

I 'feel you' there as they say,

I SENSE all the things you mean..
and would add.. my problem is
life is tooooooooooooo precious to want to let go...

BUT...

I, too must find a way to 'let go'
when that time comes.

“guess who Lois?”

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#23400
Feb 23, 2013
 
RMQuinn37 wrote:
<quoted text>
Gasp! I thought that response was to Denny to put him in place ! I did not into intend to call YOU a criminal!!!!!
Children getting killed or killing by accident happens here often. Sad. Very irresponsible of the gun owner.
Enjoy the gardens. Are they in bloom already? There are garden and flower shows here - indoor of course - to give ideas in advance of the season.
probably not often reported are the accidental shootings that missed .. no injury no report?

“guess who Lois?”

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#23401
Feb 23, 2013
 

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Grace Nerissa wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting, El..
It is coincidental indeed that we both should
have the subject in mind .. LOL
telepathy!
Interesting what you say, and indeed,
as we know so well age has no meaning
when the 'Grim Reaper' decides to make a choice.
It is a great advantage that you are philosophical
about 'death' seeing it as
the natural order of things..
I know that too,
and ALTHOUGH, I 'know'
but when it comes to the death of someone close,
my emotions take the place of wisdom and common sense,
and I can't handle it lightly.
I agree fully about not wishing
to see a person suffering, not
wishing that the person might somehow 'hang on'
that would indeed be very selfish,
it is what gave me consolation recently
with my friend..
kinda like the age old saying
'If you love me enough, let me go'
that, strangely applies to DEATH too
in it's own way.
I loved this part of your post
quoting you >
"Looking out the window at the beauty that is Wales, and bringing into the forefront of my mind the best times with those who I loved so much who are no longer here, I thank God for being blessed with the Joy of Life and the purpose, however small, I have in it."
I 'feel you' there as they say,
I SENSE all the things you mean..
and would add.. my problem is
life is tooooooooooooo precious to want to let go...
BUT...
I, too must find a way to 'let go'
when that time comes.
I'm not sure I can add much to the discussion on death and how we who are still alive handle it .. between you, QUINN and EL I think you all covered it quite nicely.

HOwever, you mentioned here about the suffering and it raises a question I have discussed with a few people over the years.

As many of you know ... my ex wife was injured in a car accident ... she would have died if the doctors did not have this little miracle called a respirator that breathed for her since she was not breathing on her own.

Now she lives life as a shell of the person she once was .. functional in many ways but still so liited...

That too is a form of suffering for the injured person, but also for those not injured but knowing someone in that condition and helping them on a daily basis...

It makes one wonder at what point can you say "they would have been better off dead" ...

I think in my wife's case she has a certain quality of life and is better off alive, but there are those in far worse shape .. it seems like passing the days with nothing they can do on their own but eat and breathe ...

“ain't she sweet?”

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#23402
Feb 23, 2013
 
tony1003 wrote:
<quoted text>Still catching up - the boat is ashore at the moment for repairs and anti-fouling. Already fully booked for the Round the Island Race, have a training weekend in April for the crew and a teaching course at the beginning of May, so the work is starting to arrive however slowly. However, holiday time before that - hope to be in the States in another month.
Hi Tony ! I was thinking of you this afternoon. We visited the Chicago History Museum and came upon the Chicago Maritime Festival. Saw a photographic presentation of the tall ships: then & now.

I'm sure you're aware with the Great Lakes and the Chicago River the history is rooted in trade routes and is still a transportation hub.

Quite interesting the exhibits and shows one can stumble upon.

“ain't she sweet?”

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#23403
Feb 23, 2013
 

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Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Quinn more kids drown in swimming pools than die by accidents with guns. Are you for filling in back yard pools?
At times Some of your arguments are more ridiculous than mine.

“....VETS”

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#23407
Feb 23, 2013
 
RMQuinn37 wrote:
<quoted text>
So let's call a spade a spade. "Iraqi Freedom" my A. Bush jr just wanted Saddam because his father couldn't get him and it was embarrassment ..... and in the aftermath of the terrorist attack on 9/11 presumed world an American sentiment was right there with him.
do you really think things out>>>>>> >>

Bush sr. said:[a spoke person of the coalition]Saddam get out of Kuwait... Saddam didn't and the coalition did it for him...

Bush's mission wasn't the removal of Saddam from Iraq just Kuwait .... PERIOD ... do you know what a truce is???

Saddam violated that truce so now back to action and Bush the jr was at the head of the coalition ....you better worry about this administration and not the past

“This is how I see you”

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#23408
Feb 23, 2013
 

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Grace Nerissa wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks sincerely for your response
and opinion.
I agree wakes are a wonderfully thought out therapy
[who so ever thought of it first] LOL..
Nice line of yours>
'Those closest help to make us who we are'
true, follow by example..
It certainly does help to keep alive
the image of the dead person, in often remembered
stories and anecdotes..
but I wouldn't call it
'keeping them alive'
it's more lovingly remembering them, in my opinion.
I think 'death' and parting is SO huge to grasp,
it's many elements, as you say it takes time...
but I feel impatient when I hear poems like..
'She/he is not really dead,
he's only a room away'
probably these sayings, poems etc..
are designed to help.. but the cold reality
is the person has died, is not coming back IS the harsh
reality of it...
I often think too, for those who think
religions are invented to make all of
us humans feel good about ourselves.
[and I've NO wish to offend anyone]
'The Hereafter' is designed to help
us get over death more gently,
a promise that we will see 'the deceased loved one'
again, and in a way, that is good,
because when 'we' eventually die,
IF there IS such as an afterlife, GREAT .. WONDERFUL..
if there is not... it won't matter.
I agree Grace! I've had a lot of friends and family die over the years, and I've gone on with the hopeful thought of, "they're now at peace" except for one, my brother. I keep him alive in my mind hoping that one day I can figure out why he felt the need to commit suicide. I know why my mom did it, guilt because of my brother. To this day, none of my family knows why, there was no note, no clues, no nothing. Once, I had a dream where I asked him, WHY? He told me that I didn't need to know, strange huh?

“ain't she sweet?”

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#23411
Feb 23, 2013
 
tallyho wrote:
<quoted text>do you really think things out>>>>>> >>

Bush sr. said:[a spoke person of the coalition]Saddam get out of Kuwait... Saddam didn't and the coalition did it for him...

Bush's mission wasn't the removal of Saddam from Iraq just Kuwait .... PERIOD ... do you know what a truce is???

Saddam violated that truce so now back to action and Bush the jr was at the head of the coalition ....you better worry about this administration and not the past
I've given up worrying since there is nothing I can do about any of it and quite frankly I do not believe that that the vote of people matters much anymore whether on on the national level or the local.

While not entirely a conspiracy theorist, I do not trust our politicians one iota. I an many others believed rightly or wrongly that Kuwait was about nothing more than the control oil supply....Saddam had it and Bush Sr and the rest of the world did too. Saddam did not go as easily as expected and when given the opportunity some of us believe Bush Jr merely righted a wrong done to his father.

After 9/11 when when we had the terror warning color code, it was quite interesting how every time Bush's approval went south over Iraq, the terror warning went code yellow or red.

As for the current administration, I can't do anything about it. Yes, do something about too many guns in the wrong hands; yes, do something about healthcare coverage for the uninsured since the private sector won't --- either way the taxpayer pays through free care in the ER for uninsured, Medicaid or higher rates.

“guess who Lois?”

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#23414
Feb 23, 2013
 

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DondoDork wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree Grace! I've had a lot of friends and family die over the years, and I've gone on with the hopeful thought of, "they're now at peace" except for one, my brother. I keep him alive in my mind hoping that one day I can figure out why he felt the need to commit suicide. I know why my mom did it, guilt because of my brother. To this day, none of my family knows why, there was no note, no clues, no nothing. Once, I had a dream where I asked him, WHY? He told me that I didn't need to know, strange huh?
were there no clues in his behaviour? depression? A divorce? NO luck finding a woman to marry him? Or to have as a girlfreind? Drugs? Alchohol? Did he feel that his life a as child was no good? did he not have luck with work? There must be some clues. If you really want to know, have you asked the poeple he was around the most at the time he did it, if he was not living at home with you?

What was his day to day attitude like? Was he normally pessimistic or optmimistic? did that change in the weeks/months before?4808

“guess who Lois?”

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#23415
Feb 23, 2013
 

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AKA - Trish wrote:
<quoted text>
Hello DD,,, it's been a while since I've seen you. I'm glad to see you're back posting again. You were always kind to me, nor matter what I may have misunderstood. DANG newbies misunderstand much and when no one reaches at all to help ... we wander,,, blinded and a bit nervous. Yes, even a mouthy and toughgal like me occasionally.
I struggle with the thoughts of SUICIDE. Can't find three preachers that will tell me the same thing to put my mind at ease. My last brother was the hardest and I was the strongest at time in my life. I crumbled and I'm not quite over it yet. I tried ... desperately to talk him out of it.... I was 1600 miles away though. Peace to you and your loved ones. How's your weather?:)
I'm sorry to hear yuo've gone through this ... I think this is something many of us have encountered, mostly with someone we knew but some of us may have struggled with it personally too. In my case my ex wife and daughter both had suicidal thoughts after being in a severe car accident ... it;s tough. for them and for those around the.

I hope you manage to stay optimistic about our own life and get back on track about life in the here and now.

“This is how I see you”

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#23416
Feb 23, 2013
 

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franko wrote:
<quoted text>were there no clues in his behaviour? depression? A divorce? NO luck finding a woman to marry him? Or to have as a girlfreind? Drugs? Alchohol? Did he feel that his life a as child was no good? did he not have luck with work? There must be some clues. If you really want to know, have you asked the poeple he was around the most at the time he did it, if he was not living at home with you?
What was his day to day attitude like? Was he normally pessimistic or optmimistic? did that change in the weeks/months before?4808
No Franko, none that I can think of. My brother was single (never married) no kids, a Deacon and youth counselor in his church. He had just bought a new car, had an awesome job as armed security at a place on the ocean (CA) that shoots satellites into space. No drugs or alcohol he was 16 years sober. My mom told me (before she committed suicide) that he had a lady that he was going to purpose to but she and my dad had disapproved of because she was black. No one knows if this was the reason or not. She was at his funeral and was a very pretty girl. I was so disappointed in my parents because I thought they had gotten over their racist attitudes when I was in a long relationship with a Mexican gentleman. The sad part is, my dad found my bother after he had shot himself in the head with his 357 and he also found my mom after she had shot herself twice. I know his guilt is eating him up also, but I can also feel good knowing that he won't go out that way.

“guess who Lois?”

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#23418
Feb 23, 2013
 

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DondoDork wrote:
<quoted text>
No Franko, none that I can think of. My brother was single (never married) no kids, a Deacon and youth counselor in his church. He had just bought a new car, had an awesome job as armed security at a place on the ocean (CA) that shoots satellites into space. No drugs or alcohol he was 16 years sober. My mom told me (before she committed suicide) that he had a lady that he was going to purpose to but she and my dad had disapproved of because she was black. No one knows if this was the reason or not. She was at his funeral and was a very pretty girl. I was so disappointed in my parents because I thought they had gotten over their racist attitudes when I was in a long relationship with a Mexican gentleman. The sad part is, my dad found my bother after he had shot himself in the head with his 357 and he also found my mom after she had shot herself twice. I know his guilt is eating him up also, but I can also feel good knowing that he won't go out that way.
It sounds like a normal life .. some good some bad ... I would hope he intended to marry the girl regardless of what his parents thought .. love is love and when you find it , it is a treasure you don't give up.

Yuo say 16 years sober .. does that mean he did have an alchohol problem in his past? That could be a clue, sometimes people who have alchohol or drug problems seem to have inner demons they can't seem to shake.

I wonder if anyone thought of an autopsy? Maybe something happened in his brain that made him feel extremely depressed .. and suddenly he did not know how to deal with the pressures of life that he normally dealt with very well? That is a small percentage possibility but who knows?? A freind of mine who was quite normal up to about age 20 suddenly had something go wrong and he spent the rest of his life struggling with depression ... he is 50 now and no change...

I'm glad your dad has the strength to go on with life even after going through such trauma .. I hope you are both support for each other.

“Ignore the trolls”

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#23419
Feb 24, 2013
 

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Mia LeNora wrote:
<quoted text>
You just made it very clear that there is a big difference between...a relaxing place where you can sit around and chill, tell a joke, put your favourite song on, and generally just get along...and god awful boring.
Ah, looks like sweetie pie has decided to grace this thread with her bile.

“....VETS”

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#23420
Feb 24, 2013
 

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good morning , LADY EL/MADAME GRACIE/LADIES&GENTS OF THE REALM and the Kit Krue

“....VETS”

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#23421
Feb 24, 2013
 

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RMQuinn37 wrote:
<quoted text>
That's my point....we pick and choose who to 'help' and then try to make it about the citizenry who are oppressed. The Iraqis did not ask for anyone's help. I wasn't around, but didn't some the Europeans under Hitler ask for international assistance?
get real , governments ask for HELP...

The Hungarian Revolution or Uprising of 1956 , asked , the rebels not the governments ... who helped?????????

The American Revolution asked , the rebels who helped ..one about 6 years later...
The Confederate States of America asked for help ,the rebels who helped..

please opinions are a source of hope/dispair/info true and false... in the know and the unknowing .... chose wisely

“....VETS”

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#23422
Feb 24, 2013
 

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Kuwait asked the UN ..........

An international organization composed of most of the countries of the world. It was founded in 1945 to promote peace, security, and economic development.

Not the Bush family

“Lazy Hazy Days of Summer”

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#23423
Feb 24, 2013
 

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Good Morning to all across the pond,'Afternoon to Grace, Tony and Krypteia.

Firstly, Great scores yesterday Tony and Krypt...
both England and Wales came up trumps. Man United
won also, so a good day all round.

An exciting day in the world of football today as a team from the third division have worked their way through to meet a team in the top league....
divided loyalties for me as they are playing Swansea..a Welsh team...so will say may the best team win. But COME ON BRADFORD!

Quarter of an hour to the start of the television coverage so just time to prepare scones, jam and clotted cream from Cornwall and coffee....see y'all later....and hope everybody is having a lovely weekend.

“Denny Crain”

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#23424
Feb 24, 2013
 

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eleanorigby wrote:
Good Morning to all across the pond,'Afternoon to Grace, Tony and Krypteia.
Firstly, Great scores yesterday Tony and Krypt...
both England and Wales came up trumps. Man United
won also, so a good day all round.
An exciting day in the world of football today as a team from the third division have worked their way through to meet a team in the top league....
divided loyalties for me as they are playing Swansea..a Welsh team...so will say may the best team win. But COME ON BRADFORD!
Quarter of an hour to the start of the television coverage so just time to prepare scones, jam and clotted cream from Cornwall and coffee....see y'all later....and hope everybody is having a lovely weekend.
Scones and jam and clotted creme :) Yes please

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