sick of eveything
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helene

Aiken, SC

#1 Jan 8, 2014
Know how I get to sleep I think of different ways to commit suicide I have a family that love me but know sooner or later I will take my self out I moved to SC and I in hate it t he lay southerners no water for 15 hours we live in a new section a new home all arrange by son to be near him I am 76 never wanted to live and shocked that I am alive after a 2003 slit wrists and out for 3 days, I had chased my husband out with a knife so I could do it that was in SD ma.
I was tortured all my fin life I won't say whos to blame,but I only wanted to be loved and accepted I was real pretty but not smart if I got upset I would run even out of school and the cops picked me up I always arrested for what I do not understand talking back to cops real pretty in the 50's dressed sexy called Marilyn Monroe looks I the 50's in a small town you could not walk on the main st dressed in tight capris off the shoulder blouse or a tight jersy. I was kicked off the main st a few times going to my gammas. house I was forced to go t school where I was picked on for crying because every ting scared me PEOPLE Then I found the answer BOOZE So I made it to 76 and will kill myself over al that was done to me I modeled in CA for a few years and I did get involved with hones to god kirk Douglas and desi arnaz I came home to my small town at 23 got PG nd married 2 sons that I lod they me Husband bashed myface in pulle omy hair so did my jeaou sister becus her husband broke down the orr and raped me. I was blamed. My face healed my beautiful front tooth my husband broke fixed I was not smart I did not know how to survive I did fall in love madly but he said I was to beautiful and he was a jealous wapp I got PG by him lost the baby at 18 that's when my rich aunty took me to palm springs Ca She did model in her day that's why she TRYED to make me something . Now of course looks gone I refuse dr care and told one ih=n MA to go f himself got in trouble The only thing I do is see a dentist because I have pretty teeth but back one deteriorating need crowns I say pull the in things. we have money but I am old and I want to kill my self You can look up my uncle his name is Maynard Laswell hand ball champ in 1928. He is in the hall of fame that's who aunty married . They were wealthy and lived at thunderbird CC and I hung out with Alice fays daughter Phyllis So you see with all the abuse by my sister my husband not now though I abuse him Abuse by Ma cops and others I did have wonderful life on and off. Time to die SC is a backwoods place lost water for 16 hours not the first time the pipes on Whiskey Rd are always breaking We live in a huge home but it means shi- to me as life does My name Is misery.
Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#2 Jan 8, 2014
LMAO!!!! Helene, don't you work at Wendy's????? What nice poetry you write!
Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#3 Jan 8, 2014
May I ask, how you went from 15 hours with no water and now 16 hours??? You can't have both....it's either 15 or 16! Which one is it???

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#4 Jan 8, 2014
They'll Bad mouth you when you do Go & Won't Apollo Gize either,...

“Be yourself .........”

Level 3

Since: May 13

Everyone else is taken

#5 Jan 8, 2014
There is happiness in life and lessons to learn.
Suicide is never the answer as your troubled soul will not find peace.
helene

Aiken, SC

#6 Jan 13, 2014
well it all true what I put down you can make fun of me all you want but I have something you will all never have death its a gift and a favor I lived long enough and my husband whom I make miserable decided to kill hmsefl too but I have to shoot first we are to old to live and refuse dr care I just hold back when the temptation to blow us away I think of 2 sons and 3 grand kids who beg me to get help when you are over 75 its tome to make room for the young that's the problem overpopulation we old should not give our money to drs and drug companies to fill their wallets so go ahead and poke fun at a old sick lady you bastar-s I died I 2003 when I cut m self up so bad I never ever could function normal with all that blood I lost. I have a death wish and now my poor husband has it too so go ahead make a joke I hate this uc-- American society any ways if you get old and not pretty anymore no one wants you I had it all when young and that's what counted Besides I was builled a lot by a lot of eople and I will right in paers about them on in vero beach one in MA and some died . a cop Pete b from ma.
helene

Aiken, SC

#7 Jan 13, 2014
I never worked I lived off rich men and one my husband and still is NOT FOR LONG we are going to a better place _______GUESS?
Beer

Endicott, NY

#8 Jan 13, 2014
When life gets you down - BEER!

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#9 Jan 13, 2014
helene wrote:
well it all true what I put down you can make fun of me all you want but I have something you will all never have death its a gift and a favor I lived long enough and my husband whom I make miserable decided to kill hmsefl too but I have to shoot first we are to old to live and refuse dr care I just hold back when the temptation to blow us away I think of 2 sons and 3 grand kids who beg me to get help when you are over 75 its tome to make room for the young that's the problem overpopulation we old should not give our money to drs and drug companies to fill their wallets so go ahead and poke fun at a old sick lady you bastar-s I died I 2003 when I cut m self up so bad I never ever could function normal with all that blood I lost. I have a death wish and now my poor husband has it too so go ahead make a joke I hate this uc-- American society any ways if you get old and not pretty anymore no one wants you I had it all when young and that's what counted Besides I was builled a lot by a lot of eople and I will right in paers about them on in vero beach one in MA and some died . a cop Pete b from ma.
You came to the wrong forum if you wanted to be taken seriously. These offbeaters...
Try a suicide hotline or something else.

Sleep well

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#10 Jan 13, 2014
helene wrote:
well it all true what I put down you can make fun of me all you want but I have something you will all never have death its a gift and a favor I lived long enough and my husband whom I make miserable decided to kill hmsefl too but I have to shoot first we are to old to live and refuse dr care I just hold back when the temptation to blow us away I think of 2 sons and 3 grand kids who beg me to get help when you are over 75 its tome to make room for the young that's the problem overpopulation we old should not give our money to drs and drug companies to fill their wallets so go ahead and poke fun at a old sick lady you bastar-s I died I 2003 when I cut m self up so bad I never ever could function normal with all that blood I lost. I have a death wish and now my poor husband has it too so go ahead make a joke I hate this uc-- American society any ways if you get old and not pretty anymore no one wants you I had it all when young and that's what counted Besides I was builled a lot by a lot of eople and I will right in paers about them on in vero beach one in MA and some died . a cop Pete b from ma.
There are people willing to listen...
https://www.imalive.org/
Dr Philip

Denton, TX

#11 Jan 13, 2014
Dear Helene, There are easier ways of checking out than a shooting.
Shooting yourself is loud and clumsy and may not kill you.
It will involve the police and traumatize your relatives.
Who will clean up the gory mess? Like scraping your brains off the walls or shampooing the bloodstains out of the carpet?
Do you have pets?
Who will take care of them?
Have you made plans for someone to find your body's before the cats get hungry?
___Check out this web site
http://www.peacefulpillhandbook.com/
maybe you will find some useful suggestions and second thoughts on a reliable, clean and easier way to escape your mortal coil.
RIP!:-D
Independent

United States

#12 Jan 13, 2014
Spirit67_ wrote:
May I ask, how you went from 15 hours with no water and now 16 hours??? You can't have both....it's either 15 or 16! Which one is it???
It took her an hour to write out her post, perhaps?
60s chic

Allentown, PA

#13 Jan 13, 2014
helene wrote:
I never worked I lived off rich men and one my husband and still is NOT FOR LONG we are going to a better place _______GUESS?
Wherever you are in your life, you alone are the master of your own destiny. Death is so final and nothing can change that, so why want to die all the sooner? You say you have 2 sons and 3 grandchildren. You're fortunate and blessed in more ways then you can imagine. I've never had sons or any grandchildren. How do you think your sons and grandchildren would feel knowing you are planning or want to commit suicide? That's a terrible legacy to leave your family. Life is all too short. You sound as though you had a lot going for you in your younger days. Many people weren't that lucky. Don't throw it all away because you know longer have what you did when you were younger. The point is, you had it all once. Look back and be content with that. You can't imagine the horrors some people are forced to live with and have to look back on. Also, getting old happens to all of us. Being in constant or chronic pain is another, but many people have options to overcoming or at least experiencing less pain, be it psychological or physical and believe it or not, so do you. The beauty of older age is when you can look back on your life and know that you were lucky enough to have enjoyed life's experiences, places, friends and family. Many don't have what you've had or experienced in life. Be grateful and pass that same joy to your family. You're the only mother and grandmother they will ever know and have. I agree with the other posters. Try the suicide hotline and don't hesitate to get the help you need. There's nothing wrong about admitting that you need help. There are people who do care. Good luck to you and let us know how you're doing.

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#14 Jan 13, 2014
NotaGoth wrote:
<quoted text>
There are people willing to listen...
https://www.imalive.org/
This is all a bunch of pathetic horseshit, the people that are the sickest are the one's going along with it!
Condoning it, if you will!
Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#15 Jan 13, 2014
Independent wrote:
<quoted text>
It took her an hour to write out her post, perhaps?
That's a good assumption!

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#16 Jan 13, 2014

“Happiness comes through giving”

Level 7

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#17 Jan 13, 2014
helene wrote:
I never worked I lived off rich men and one my husband and still is NOT FOR LONG we are going to a better place _______GUESS?
Disneyland?

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#18 Jan 13, 2014
I commited a Murder/ Suicide and all i got was these lousy t-shirts,...

“New & Improved..”

Level 8

Since: Oct 07

Formerly From Kenya

#19 Jan 13, 2014
Who gets your stuff ??

just askin'

“Will cause trouble when bored”

Level 6

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#20 Jan 13, 2014
Thats right Hooiser. ;)

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