"No single riders" policy is strictly...

"No single riders" policy is strictly to punish and alienate single persons!

Posted in the Weird Forum

He who knows

Cicero, IL

#1 Jul 4, 2012
As if thriller rides going the way of the wild goose from American carnivals and festivals was not bad enough, new rules are being enforced to decrease everyone's good time, one of which is designed exclusively to punish and purposefully alienate all single people. That rule is the "No Single Riders" policy that affects numerous carnival rides, most notably the Zipper, although other rides are also affected, which include such rides as the Spider, the Octopus, and has even been implimented for the old and classic Tilt-A-Whirl at a few carnivals!

This means that fewer people than before are allowed at some carnivals. These laws are tyranny. Next thing you know, rules, and then laws, will get passed that forbid singles from attending festivals, carnivals, and tastes. First, singles will be turned away at the gate. After that will come arrests for trespassing. And then feeling more powerful, they'll even figure to pass laws that forbid everyone 18 years of age and older from attending carnivals and restrict every single carnival, festival, county fair, and taste to children and teens 17 years of age and younger only, and anyone 18+ years old who tries to enter a carnival, fair, taste, or festival would get arrested, prosecuted, and then thrown in prison for trespassing and pre meditated contributing to the delinquency of minors. The only thing worse beyond that would be if every county fair, carnival, taste, and festival had armed Army National Guard soldiers patrolling the entire perimeter and perimeter fence, armed with AK-47s, M-16s, and MP-5s, and with orders of "shoot to kill" anyone seen trying to sneak into the carnival, festival, county fair, taste, or such.

People, this may very well be the end times for carnivals and county fairs, as well as much of the fun that fills our summers. Next may as well be a total abolition of fairs, carnivals, and other fun stuff and a replacement of all summer fun with mandatory year-round school, adult curfews including curfews that cover up to three quarters of the "broad daylight" part of the day, abolition of all days of rest, including Sabbath days, and basically the implimentation of a prison-type society.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#4 Jul 5, 2012
He who knows wrote:
As if thriller rides going the way of the wild goose from American carnivals and festivals was not bad enough, new rules are being enforced to decrease everyone's good time, one of which is designed exclusively to punish and purposefully alienate all single people. That rule is the "No Single Riders" policy that affects numerous carnival rides, most notably the Zipper, although other rides are also affected, which include such rides as the Spider, the Octopus, and has even been implimented for the old and classic Tilt-A-Whirl at a few carnivals!

This means that fewer people than before are allowed at some carnivals. These laws are tyranny. Next thing you know, rules, and then laws, will get passed that forbid singles from attending festivals, carnivals, and tastes. First, singles will be turned away at the gate. After that will come arrests for trespassing. And then feeling more powerful, they'll even figure to pass laws that forbid everyone 18 years of age and older from attending carnivals and restrict every single carnival, festival, county fair, and taste to children and teens 17 years of age and younger only, and anyone 18+ years old who tries to enter a carnival, fair, taste, or festival would get arrested, prosecuted, and then thrown in prison for trespassing and pre meditated contributing to the delinquency of minors. The only thing worse beyond that would be if every county fair, carnival, taste, and festival had armed Army National Guard soldiers patrolling the entire perimeter and perimeter fence, armed with AK-47s, M-16s, and MP-5s, and with orders of "shoot to kill" anyone seen trying to sneak into the carnival, festival, county fair, taste, or such.

People, this may very well be the end times for carnivals and county fairs, as well as much of the fun that fills our summers. Next may as well be a total abolition of fairs, carnivals, and other fun stuff and a replacement of all summer fun with mandatory year-round school, adult curfews including curfews that cover up to three quarters of the "broad daylight" part of the day, abolition of all days of rest, including Sabbath days, and basically the implimentation of a prison-type society.
I don't think this pertains to single (as in does not have a partner), I think it means in an effort to try to cut hour long lines, no single (as in my friend, partner, brother.....) doesn't want to ride this ride, so I'm going to and now I have to ride alone. It means that there should be no empty cars for the ride. Wow conspiracy theory much?
He who knows

Cicero, IL

#5 Jul 5, 2012
"No Single Riders" policies are especially particularly punitive in major social desert regions (where nobody interacts with anyone at all in any public or public use place and where people can even become aggressive towards anyone not part of their immediate clique). Especially in areas as Chicago's collar county area (DuPage, southern Kane, Lake, McHenry, DeKalb, and Will Counties, Illinois), and also reportedly within the vicinity of Boston, Massachusetts.
He who enjoys fairs

Cicero, IL

#6 Jul 5, 2012
He who knows wrote:
As if thriller rides going the way of the wild goose from American carnivals and festivals was not bad enough, new rules are being enforced to decrease everyone's good time, one of which is designed exclusively to punish and purposefully alienate all single people. That rule is the "No Single Riders" policy that affects numerous carnival rides, most notably the Zipper, although other rides are also affected, which include such rides as the Spider, the Octopus, and has even been implimented for the old and classic Tilt-A-Whirl at a few carnivals!
This means that fewer people than before are allowed at some carnivals. These laws are tyranny. Next thing you know, rules, and then laws, will get passed that forbid singles from attending festivals, carnivals, and tastes. First, singles will be turned away at the gate. After that will come arrests for trespassing. And then feeling more powerful, they'll even figure to pass laws that forbid everyone 18 years of age and older from attending carnivals and restrict every single carnival, festival, county fair, and taste to children and teens 17 years of age and younger only, and anyone 18+ years old who tries to enter a carnival, fair, taste, or festival would get arrested, prosecuted, and then thrown in prison for trespassing and pre meditated contributing to the delinquency of minors. The only thing worse beyond that would be if every county fair, carnival, taste, and festival had armed Army National Guard soldiers patrolling the entire perimeter and perimeter fence, armed with AK-47s, M-16s, and MP-5s, and with orders of "shoot to kill" anyone seen trying to sneak into the carnival, festival, county fair, taste, or such.
People, this may very well be the end times for carnivals and county fairs, as well as much of the fun that fills our summers. Next may as well be a total abolition of fairs, carnivals, and other fun stuff and a replacement of all summer fun with mandatory year-round school, adult curfews including curfews that cover up to three quarters of the "broad daylight" part of the day, abolition of all days of rest, including Sabbath days, and basically the implimentation of a prison-type society.
You got that right. Next would also be signs on the fences saying, at first; "No Trespassing. Only minors 17 years of age and under permitted. Violators subject to prosecution." And then signs saying; "Warning! Military patrolled area. No Trespassing. Strictly enforced by Army National Guard. Only minors 17 years of age and under permitted to attend. Use Of Deadly Force Authorized!" And next after that would be electric fences and perimeter chain link/cyclone fences being electrified with lethal high voltage capable of killing around all county fairs, carnivals, festivals, and such.
He who knows

Cicero, IL

#7 Jul 16, 2012
Speaking of the Zipper, by the way, it also appears some pranksters have made claims about people turning sideways inside the gondolas to get the "no single riders" policy enforced. As someone who has ridden solo on the Zipper numerous times before, I personally can tell you that it is almost impossible, even for a solo rider, to turn sideways on the Zipper. The lap bar, in conjunction with the shape of the inside of the gondola, plus the space taken up by the rider, would prevent anyone from turning sideways even if the rider tried to do so on purpose. I mean, the lap bar on the Zipper is positioned so that it holds you in just below your waist while the inner shape of the lower part of the gondola keeps your legs pointing forward, going under and then forward of the position of the lap bar, just as though you were sitting in a chair. The human body is not designed to squeeze through such a tight configuration. Femur bones do not bend, nor do they flop around. A solo rider can not turn sideways on the Zipper!
Nationwide warning

Cicero, IL

#8 Aug 7, 2012
He who knows wrote:
Next thing you know, rules, and then laws, will get passed that forbid singles from attending festivals, carnivals, and tastes. First, singles will be turned away at the gate. After that will come arrests for trespassing. And then feeling more powerful, they'll even figure to pass laws that forbid everyone 18 years of age and older from attending carnivals and restrict every single carnival, festival, county fair, and taste to children and teens 17 years of age and younger only, and anyone 18+ years old who tries to enter a carnival, fair, taste, or festival would get arrested, prosecuted, and then thrown in prison for trespassing and pre meditated contributing to the delinquency of minors. The only thing worse beyond that would be if every county fair, carnival, taste, and festival had armed Army National Guard soldiers patrolling the entire perimeter and perimeter fence, armed with AK-47s, M-16s, and MP-5s, and with orders of "shoot to kill" anyone seen trying to sneak into the carnival, festival, county fair, taste, or such.
Unfortunately, your complaint will NOT stop carnivals from implementing "No Single Riders" policies, neither is it even likely to reverse, or even slow down, it's spread. In fact, many amusement companies, including North American Midway Entertainment, Windy City Amusements, and many others who see this may even rush right into the "No Trespassing" laws and begin ordering local police departments to arrest and imprison immediately all single persons who try to enter their carnivals! Even recently, at a fair in Wausau, Wisconsin, North American Midway Entertainment staff cruelly kicked a single rider off the Orbiter for not having a partner and even looked ready to call the police on the single rider. Later on, operators at the Ring of Fire ride placed a young girl with apparently that same rider, and that girl's dad did not look happy.
Nationwide warning

Cicero, IL

#9 Aug 7, 2012
Just stating the truth wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think this pertains to single (as in does not have a partner), I think it means in an effort to try to cut hour long lines, no single (as in my friend, partner, brother.....) doesn't want to ride this ride, so I'm going to and now I have to ride alone. It means that there should be no empty cars for the ride. Wow conspiracy theory much?
It most certainly DOES pertain to single as in does not have a partner or partners to ride the ride with. This rule is spreading nationwide like a wildfire in a howling gale! The next step is military enforcement with the use of deadly force authorized in the major social desert regions (like the regions of Boston, Massachusetts, Chicago Illinois' collar county area, and such), and even all perimeter fencing around all fairs in those areas being electrified with thousands of volts of electricity designed to fry and toast any would-be trespassers.
He who knows

Cicero, IL

#10 Jun 9, 2013
This is serious, people!

“Whip it, whip it good”

Level 8

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#11 Jun 9, 2013
Me quit going to carnivals, festivals, and county fairs when they closed down el freak shows. When the last time you see two headed calf or the magical giant guy who ate fire an was married to the skinny snake skinned spider woman?.
Seriously

New York, NY

#12 Jun 9, 2013
He who knows wrote:
This is serious, people!
If you want to make it more serious we could talk about the highways and those lanes where you must have more than one rider in vehicles.
Inflatable dolls are useful for more things that we may imagine.

We could talk about vacation packages that don't benefit the single.

There are a good number of areas that it doesn't pay to be a single.
State of Illinois

Minneapolis, MN

#13 Jul 14, 2014
He who knows wrote:
Next thing you know, rules, and then laws, will get passed that forbid singles from attending festivals, carnivals, and tastes. First, singles will be turned away at the gate. After that will come arrests for trespassing. And then feeling more powerful, they'll even figure to pass laws that forbid everyone 18 years of age and older from attending carnivals and restrict every single carnival, festival, county fair, and taste to children and teens 17 years of age and younger only, and anyone 18+ years old who tries to enter a carnival, fair, taste, or festival would get arrested, prosecuted, and then thrown in prison for trespassing and pre meditated contributing to the delinquency of minors.
Hwk, that is the exact type of laws the State of Illinois has. And in fact, violation of those laws, in the State of Illinois, constitutes a felony punishable easily by up to 55 years in prison!
sarijo

Grand Rapids, MI

#14 Jul 23, 2014
MissStress wrote:
Me quit going to carnivals, festivals, and county fairs when they closed down el freak shows. When the last time you see two headed calf or the magical giant guy who ate fire an was married to the skinny snake skinned spider woman?.
Ionia Free Fair in Michigan last year had a true "Freak Show" - they are still around.
FBI Warning

Lehigh Acres, FL

#15 Jul 13, 2015
To the OP.

Come on, man! You can NOT go on the Zipper if you are 18 or older and/or if you are more than 120 pounds gross weight. The Zipper is restricted by Federal and Canadian Law to teenagers 17 and younger only. So not only are you forbidden by Federal and Canadian Law to ride by yourself on the Zipper, but guess what? You are forbidden by Federal law to ride even with a partner if 1, you are 18 years of age or older, or 2, you are more than 120 pounds gross weight. Violate the above laws, and you will face up to 100 years to life in Federal prison. And if you go on with someone 17 or younger, you'll be required by Federal law to register as a sex offender every two weeks for the rest of your life! Also, all police officers nationwide are authorized by Federal law to use deadly force without warning on any unruly suspect; even if the suspect is unarmed!
FBI Warning

Lehigh Acres, FL

#16 Jul 13, 2015
The following laws for the Zipper are Federal, straight from Washington, DC!

No adults 18 years of age or older; you MUST be 17 or younger to ride even with a partner.

Maximum weight limit per rider is 120 pounds, gross weight.

No Single Riders.

Violators are subject to immediate arrest, up to 100 years to life imprisonment! Use of Deadly Force Authorized!
Carnival warning

Lehigh Acres, FL

#17 Oct 30, 2015
Boycott the Zipper! Anyone who goes to a carnival, have a heart for singles! STAY OFF the Zipper! Even if you have the LARGEST group in the entire carnival, fair, or whatever! DON'T ride the Zipper! And in fact, boycott Chance "North Korea" Rides, Inc! Stay off ALL rides manufactured by Chance Rides! They are; Zipper, Wipeout, Alpine Bobs, Grand Carousel, Century Wheel, Pharaoh's Fury, Yo-Yo, Freestyle, Revolution, and Aviator.

Isolation and quarantine of all singles is Chance Rides Inc's top priority and mission.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
El's Kitchen (Feb '09) 12 min eleanorigby 59,902
Alphabetical ways to die (Jul '11) 17 min Statistics 10,894
Word Association (Mar '10) 33 min Calisportsgirl 21,126
Word Association. (Nov '10) 34 min Calisportsgirl 19,728
Word Association 2 (Sep '13) 35 min Calisportsgirl 19,850
Any Word ! (Mar '11) 37 min Calisportsgirl 5,195
Word association (Jun '07) 39 min Calisportsgirl 5,265
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 2 hr KNIGHT DeVINE 197,721
JUST SAY SOMETHING. Whatever comes to mind!! (Aug '09) 2 hr KNIGHT DeVINE 33,279
Make up your wildest Headline. (Aug '08) 4 hr Sparky 665
More from around the web