the 2013 Offbeat Story ... for EVERYONE.

“Hands across the sea”

Since: Jun 06

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#63 Jan 28, 2013
provocative...suddenly Bill had visions of Hilary
appealing to all the young dudes and he realised...

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

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#64 Jan 28, 2013
he needed to go back to doing the thing he did when they first met and so he went to the market and bought up all the artichokes...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

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#65 Jan 28, 2013
and portabella mushrooms..

“Towards Christmas.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

‘

#66 Jan 28, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
and portabella mushrooms..
With that, Hillary got very excited, when Bill showed her
what he bought, as it was exactly what they mainly
ate when on honeymoon many years previous,

they used called it 'the food of love'

and the reason for that was ......
Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#67 Jan 28, 2013
they'd spent all too much money on the wedding and it was all they could afford. Wouldn't have been able to afford even those if they hadn't met a seedy street vendor who approached tourists quietly whispering in their ears >I can get you anything you want, good price, hush hush< ..... as it happened artichokes and mushrooms were the only foods he could get.
But, neither were as young as they were and their stomach's constitutions weren't as they were......after a day and a half of eating the "food of love" they were both worse for wear. Stood looking at each other for a while then both broke the silence at once, each saying....

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

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#68 Jan 28, 2013
Are you going to pass the Bill?

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#69 Jan 28, 2013
Which was another way of asking if either one of them was going to cut the cheese because artichokes and most vegetables were so gassy that...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

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#70 Jan 28, 2013
the garlic alone will explode the room..

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#71 Jan 28, 2013
but they wanted to use the special effects that melted the Wicked Witch Of The West. The only way they could find the secret formula was to take a trip to Oz in a hot air balloon and find Glinda the good witch. Grace Nerissa has always wanted to be privvy to that kind of transportation and she and Ali jumped into the balloon. Hillary kept giving Bill dirty looks because she was afraid that his eyes would wander aimlessly over Grace's beauty but Ali took care of that by nipping Bill in the knee cap...

“Towards Christmas.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

‘

#72 Jan 29, 2013
Vee wrote:
but they wanted to use the special effects that melted the Wicked Witch Of The West. The only way they could find the secret formula was to take a trip to Oz in a hot air balloon and find Glinda the good witch. Grace Nerissa has always wanted to be privvy to that kind of transportation and she and Ali jumped into the balloon. Hillary kept giving Bill dirty looks because she was afraid that his eyes would wander aimlessly over Grace's beauty but Ali took care of that by nipping Bill in the knee cap...
When Hillary witnessed that,
her mind wandered .. and she simply couldn't
help her fantasy thoughts straying towards the
time ..... when Bill was with Monica,
and how she wished.. Ali the dog,
might have nipped Bill
'somewhere else'!!!! other than, on his knee cap(:

but, suddenly, breaking her fantasy ...

a TV,'RED ALERT' from Obama came thru'

stating .......

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#73 Jan 29, 2013
The State room desk had termites. These termites had little horns and beady eyes and it was believede that they were spys that belonged to...

“Towards Christmas.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

‘

#74 Jan 29, 2013
Vee wrote:
The State room desk had termites. These termites had little horns and beady eyes and it was believede that they were spys that belonged to...
THE TALIBAN...

SOME of whom were just dying for a
"McDonald's Big Mac + French fries"

but .. it was against their religion
to indulge in these 'hateful' things..

however, they devised a clever plan to ......

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#75 Jan 29, 2013
do KP in Wendy's by pretending to wear red wigs with long pigtails and everyone thought that there was a Wendy look alike contest and so stores across America sold out of those wigs in hours, One person who decided to enter the contest as a blonde wendy was none other then El Rigby because she knew her beauty was like no other...

“Towards Christmas.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

‘

#76 Jan 30, 2013
Vee wrote:
do KP in Wendy's by pretending to wear red wigs with long pigtails and everyone thought that there was a Wendy look alike contest and so stores across America sold out of those wigs in hours, One person who decided to enter the contest as a blonde wendy was none other then El Rigby because she knew her beauty was like no other...
and.. THE BEATLES had known this too,
and that is why they wrote a song about her,
it goes to show ...

“Hands across the sea”

Since: Jun 06

Location hidden

#77 Jan 30, 2013
that you can't your beauty under a bushel...so
siezing her chance, El leapt into the balloon
alongside Grace Nerissa and Ali.....determined
to do her bit to eradicate..

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#78 Jan 30, 2013
poor dancing moves. They brought out the limbo stick and Grace and El decided to challenge each other to see "How low they could go." Just then a cat ran by chasing a mouse, went under the Limbo Stick, and now there was an even bigger challenge...

“Towards Christmas.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

‘

#79 Feb 2, 2013
Vee wrote:
poor dancing moves. They brought out the limbo stick and Grace and El decided to challenge each other to see "How low they could go." Just then a cat ran by chasing a mouse, went under the Limbo Stick, and now there was an even bigger challenge...

and that was who would be quick enough
to catch the prize cat [chasing the mouse] the cat belonged to
El, a special gift for her
tireless work with animals,

presented to her by
the one and only...

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#80 Feb 2, 2013
Broadway star who appeared in CATS over a million times and that was...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

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#81 Feb 2, 2013
hired to sabotage the show on opening night when ..

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#82 Feb 2, 2013
They had opening night the night before to confuse those who wanted to see the show fail...

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