the 2013 Offbeat Story ... for EVERYONE.

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#41 Jan 25, 2013
Wrinkled Prunes look better then Wrinkled flesh...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#42 Jan 25, 2013
but all of Florida gasped in horror and orgas* at the same time that they had to pass legislation regarding...

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#43 Jan 26, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
but all of Florida gasped in horror and orgas* at the same time that they had to pass legislation regarding...
Old Age pensioners, as of NOW, would be perfectly
within their right to join the
beautiful dolly girls ... and... enter the renowned

'THE MISS UNIVERSE' contest..

One man stood up and said ......

“Cool huh?”

Since: Jun 06

Location hidden

#46 Jan 26, 2013
Grace Nerissa wrote:
<quoted text>
visitors from foreign parts,
but then one day..
along came QUENTIN TARATINO..
and decided to make a movie..
about these wandering souls
he wanted to call it ....
THE NAKED RUNNER..
but since there already existed
a movie with that title..
instead he named his movie>
.....
...NAKED IN SEATTLE...then he had the task of choosing
who to play the lead roles in his movie...he approached....

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#47 Jan 26, 2013
Quentin Taratino...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#48 Jan 26, 2013
who said, "Sure just give me a call," then walked into his limo. He stood amongst the haze of snapping photographers and reporters, slowly looked at the card, 1-800-....
Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#49 Jan 26, 2013
1-800-..... dial a chat-line...24/7 hot girls and guys waiting to hear from YOU...

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#50 Jan 26, 2013
They are waiting to hear from anyone. They are undercovers waiting to fasten those metal bracelets on your wrists and read your rights so really think twice...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#51 Jan 26, 2013
before you pick a "hot" cop and really end up in cuffs only you're behind bars with some guy named...

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#52 Jan 27, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
before you pick a "hot" cop and really end up in cuffs only you're behind bars with some guy named...
EDDIE MORRICONE,[a brother of the famous composer ENNIO MORRICONE]

Eddie was doing time for sleeping too late in the mornings,
altho' apart from that, he was nice company,
I always remember the day he said,


'sit down there now! and I'll play you a tune of my
brother famous'
then, he took out his flute..

and, in next to no time ....

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#53 Jan 27, 2013
EDDIE MORRICONE,[a brother of the famous composer ENNIO MORRICONE]

Eddie was doing time for sleeping too late in the mornings,
altho' apart from that, he was nice company,
I always remember the day he said,

'sit down there now! and I'll play you a tune of my
famous brother'-
then, he took out his flute..

and, in next to no time ....

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#54 Jan 27, 2013
they put Vee in the cell too for jaywalking! He huffed and puffed and...

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#55 Jan 27, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
they put Vee in the cell too for jaywalking! He huffed and puffed and...
finally got the hang of it,
and ... created a sweet harmony for Vee's
fine voice,
but across the way, a convicted criminal was
who was allergic to music, went suddenly
berserk shaking the bars like
KING KONG...
and the only known way of calming him was ....

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#56 Jan 27, 2013
giving him some Goldberg's peanut Chews which were now scarce as hounds teeth and the only person that knew where a stash was...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#57 Jan 27, 2013
Princess Hey who was coming to visit Vee but to her delight also found Devine in the cell across writing on the wall how much he...

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#58 Jan 27, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
Princess Hey who was coming to visit Vee but to her delight also found Devine in the cell across writing on the wall how much he...
regretted passing off .. as his own.. so many
poems .. other poets had slogged long
and hard to create;

when he was feeling low and regretful, he began crying
to himself quietly,
when suddenly WHO should appear in his cell..
only the great SHAKESPEARE himself..
and began to recite

"All of TOPIX is a stage...
and men and women there are merely
players, they have their exits and entrances..
and each one in his time send many posts..
acting the idiot for what seems several ages"

'but'
continued Shakespeare,


'There are some very fine
folks on Topix too, only last night,
this guy offered me a joint..
I didn't know what to do until
he advised me to ....'

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#59 Jan 27, 2013
talk to Bill Clinton he'd surely know how to..

Vee

“Happeeeeeee 2016!!!!!!!”

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#60 Jan 27, 2013
step into the kitchen with trumpet candy molds and make some enticing chocolates, but then he thought, he could make a killing if he had candy molds of Lewinsky's dress. He could add a bit of vanilla to look like a stain, and he might give Wilton a run for his confectionary money...

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#61 Jan 27, 2013
Vee wrote:
step into the kitchen with trumpet candy molds and make some enticing chocolates, but then he thought, he could make a killing if he had candy molds of Lewinsky's dress. He could add a bit of vanilla to look like a stain, and he might give Wilton a run for his confectionary money...
but alas Hillary interrupted his fantasy when she..

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#62 Jan 28, 2013
QuiteCrazy wrote:
<quoted text>
but alas Hillary interrupted his fantasy when she..
asked,

'Does my rear look big in this,
as she twirled around showing off her
pencil line skirt,

Bill has to think quick [which he was good at]
and taking into account, Hillary might be president
of the US some day, he answered diplomatically.

'Oh no my dear, you look stunning,
but, one little
mention, by way of help-if you don't mind my saying, Darling,

wearing a pony tail at your age,
may be... just a tad .....'

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