*The No Nookie Club*

“He said What?!”

Level 5

Since: Feb 10

No Way! LOL

#1 Dec 26, 2013
Welcome fellow members of the No Nookie Club!

Are you lonely and horny?

Haven't had any since it had you?

Ladies, have you replaced your Summer's Eve with a dust mop?

Well this is the place for you!

GRAND OPENING!!

Stocked with all the comfort foods and drink you need for a lonely night of searching internet porn.

***FREEBIE*** SPECIAL TODAY ONLY!!!***
Sign up now and get a Free 3 day subscription to BOTH
E-Hardmoany and Losers Monogamous dot com!

GAMES & DOOR PRIZES!
WIN a years supply of Jiffy Lube coupons in our Butt Banger Bingo games.
Every 3rd Tuesday of the month.

Listen to our specialty loaded Lackanookie jukebox.
Filled with great hits like,

ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT By Sam Kinison?
http://youtu.be/EclQVQGqnZ0

DO YOU F ON FIRST DATES? BY Kevin Bloody Wilson
http://youtu.be/5b65Zf6r-RE

MASTURBATION BLUES By Candy Kane
http://youtu.be/3QKNGNPlOwc

Come on in and share your favorite tale of no tail woe.

;-D

“Want A Friend, Be One”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Almost Half Way There...

#2 Dec 26, 2013
okay no not getting any nookie either...has been a while and it does get lonely...ppor poor pityful me...

“He said What?!”

Level 5

Since: Feb 10

No Way! LOL

#3 Dec 26, 2013
Princess Hey wrote:
okay no not getting any nookie either...has been a while and it does get lonely...ppor poor pityful me...
You're an inspiration!
After reading all these threads and romance tales on off beat, I thought I was the only person on earth not getting any 3 or 4 times a day.
Can't do anything about it.
Crying don't help.
So we might as well laugh and have fun with it.

;-D)))

Lets wallow in our collective misery.
The lucky ones won't mess with us here.
Ha!

“..i can't STAND her....and”

Since: Jun 08

...i don't want him..WTF?.....

#4 Dec 26, 2013
.....so, a guy goes into a bar....three nuns are sitting in a booth, and 2 are drinking small glasses of red wine while the third abstains......guy (drunk, but not sloppy drunk) pulls a chair up to the edge of the booth and asks the abstaining nun why she isn't drinking, too......to which she replies "Alcohol shall never pass these lips!"......guy hollers at the bartender "INNKEEPER!!! Mix this woman a vinegar and water"........

“He said What?!”

Level 5

Since: Feb 10

No Way! LOL

#5 Dec 26, 2013
Old Sam wrote:
.....so, a guy goes into a bar....three nuns are sitting in a booth, and 2 are drinking small glasses of red wine while the third abstains......guy (drunk, but not sloppy drunk) pulls a chair up to the edge of the booth and asks the abstaining nun why she isn't drinking, too......to which she replies "Alcohol shall never pass these lips!"......guy hollers at the bartender "INNKEEPER!!! Mix this woman a vinegar and water"........
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =GnOl4VcV5ngXX
Welcome OldSam!!

LOL!! Love the joke.

That deserves a toast,

with a virgin bloody Mary.

1 can Snappy Tom
tomato juice
1 tablespoon Tabasco sauce
2 shakes Worcestershire
Serve in a tall glass over ice with a celery garnish

;-D
Billy Jack

Overland Park, KS

#6 Dec 26, 2013
Indian Nookie,...Tepee Style

“Want A Friend, Be One”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Almost Half Way There...

#7 Dec 27, 2013
now I know there are others out there that isnt getting nookie either...so fess up and join the club..good benefits..LOL...

“..i can't STAND her....and”

Since: Jun 08

...i don't want him..WTF?.....

#8 Dec 27, 2013
...indian chief walks into the drugstore and wants a condom....druggist sells him and the chief leaves....back the next day askin' fer another, sayin' that "Wife plenty strong..Chief plenty strong....rubber went 'balooooie!'"...buys another, and the next day claims the same thing...druggist sells him wunna those ACME rubbers.....chief comes in next day on crutches, draggin' his left leg.....in explanation he sez "Wife plenty strong, chief plenty strong, ACME rubber plenty strong....left ball go 'balooooie'!" as he asks for another ACME rubber.......

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#9 Dec 27, 2013

“Want A Friend, Be One”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Almost Half Way There...

#10 Dec 28, 2013
you know its a shame how some of us ladies get no nookie...what does a lady have to do..you put a bow on and pretty heels,walk around but nothing.. :o)
Level 6

Since: Jan 10

Location hidden

#11 Dec 29, 2013
LOL
Marion Harris said it best in 1920
http://youtu.be/GPAGqeWdQTc

“Want A Friend, Be One”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Almost Half Way There...

#12 Dec 29, 2013
well after a while you get use to not having nookie...would be nice every once in a while to have your feathers ruffled..LOL..but when the heels and bow dont work..and the no panties and bending over to get something off the floor doesnt either ..whats a lady to do..ohh I know go get two lids and bang them together at the guy your with to wake him up..crazy man..LOL..

“..i can't STAND her....and”

Since: Jun 08

...i don't want him..WTF?.....

#13 Dec 29, 2013
..little boy and little girl are playin' show and tell.....little boy shows her his, and implies what he's got is better than what she's got...little girl looks under her dress, and runs home cryin'....directly she comes back, and little boy asks 'What did yer momma say?"...little girl sez "Momma said with what i got i can have all of THOSE i want".........

“Want A Friend, Be One”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Almost Half Way There...

#14 Dec 30, 2013
Got one for you Sam...

a little girl and boy are playing in a sandbox. The little boy has to go to pee but he was told by his mother to always be polite and dont talk about private matters in public.At first he holds it in for a little while because he does not know what to say to the little girl to excuse himself. Then he remembers what his mom had said at the resturant to excuse herself from the table.So he turns to the little girl and says will you excuse me I have to go powder my nose, and saying that he gets out of tha sandbox and goes to the bathroom.When he comes back the little girl looks at him and asks him did you powder your nose? yes he told her getting back in the sandbox well then she says to him you better close your purse because your lipstick is hanging out...
Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#15 Dec 30, 2013
I would rather have none, than to give it to someone I don't love!

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#16 Jul 24, 2014
Can't get none if they don't have any to give... poor fellow...lol

Petal Power

“It's a New Dawn”

Since: Feb 14

Location hidden

#17 Jul 24, 2014
Bookie Bookie Bookie .Woooo-Hoooo!!

OOPSIE!!

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