Do you or have you spanked your child...
I love CROCKY

Spring, TX

#122 Jun 23, 2008
The parent ended up as a watched abuser? Ok, i do understand that! I mean, slapping is abuse no matter what. But the child does need to learn; slapping is very VERY unacceptable. This girl is 13 and can still be helped. Does she have a medical condition? As like bipolar?

Since: Jun 08

Dodge City, KS

#123 Jun 23, 2008
I grew up in a divorced household. My Mom spanked me and my dad didn't. I had equal respect for both of them, as they were both very capable in rationalizing with me. I have no problem with spanking, but I think a lot of problems occur when a child is not paid enough attention to. Timeout and spanking are equally uneffective when they are used as the easy way out. Im 24 now and my I'm grateful for both of my parents. I believe it's all about effort.
I love CROCKY

Spring, TX

#124 Jun 23, 2008
Spanking gives force. The child hits the cat, it gets a spanking. No more hitting the cat she/he will get a spanking. But as the child gets older it will think it doesnt hurt anymore. So the child will think 'i can get away with running into the street because the spankings dont hurt. And if you make them more forceful, that will be a low level as abuse. But it IS effective and i cant find anything as effective as spanking but there needs to be. Grounding would work. If you say no ice cream or take away her/or his favorite toy, you HAVE to be strong with it. You cant let go of your standards.

Since: Jun 08

Beaverton, OR

#125 Jun 23, 2008
I have no kids,so here is my take:

There is a difference in spanking and beating. My mom kind of went into the "beating area" of discipline,so I'm not going to ever follow her lead.I have "spanked" my sister's son before and that was just a slap on the hand. He kept on acting up anyway and I just left the room lol. But if I ever have children,I will not just use words. I've seen parents going "Tommy,Tommy,stop that!" and Tommy kept right on doing it lol. Just talking isn't enough,but that doesn't mean you should always spank the child. It should be balanced.
I love CROCKY

Spring, TX

#126 Jun 24, 2008
yes so there are varities. it does need to be balanced
cal

Irmo, SC

#127 Jun 24, 2008
I have rules. You break them you get spanked. I use my hand and there behavior works them up to how they will get it. Pants up, pants down, bare bottom. I do have a paddle only to be used for the worst behavior and at times it has been used. Most of the time I have them bend over. Sometimes I do the knee and sometimes I don't. I have a rule though, and that is I spank at home. They will get the warning "I am going to spank you when I get home" and as soon as we get home they know know what to do. They go to there room and stand in the conor. From there we procede. At times they will go in there room and automactically bend over with pants down. Another rule is that if both parents are home the kid gets to pick which parent spanks. Dad spanks harder so most of time I am the spanker. There are times when dad will come home and I will tell him which kid is bad and he will spank. I firmly believe in it. I was spanked as a child along with my husband. We had sore bottoms but we learned. I also have there grandparents spank them if needed
David

AOL

#128 Jun 24, 2008
cal wrote:
I have rules. You break them you get spanked. I use my hand and there behavior works them up to how they will get it. Pants up, pants down, bare bottom. I do have a paddle only to be used for the worst behavior and at times it has been used. Most of the time I have them bend over. Sometimes I do the knee and sometimes I don't. I have a rule though, and that is I spank at home. They will get the warning "I am going to spank you when I get home" and as soon as we get home they know know what to do. They go to there room and stand in the conor. From there we procede. At times they will go in there room and automactically bend over with pants down. Another rule is that if both parents are home the kid gets to pick which parent spanks. Dad spanks harder so most of time I am the spanker. There are times when dad will come home and I will tell him which kid is bad and he will spank. I firmly believe in it. I was spanked as a child along with my husband. We had sore bottoms but we learned. I also have there grandparents spank them if needed
No offense, but I'd hate to be one of your kids. If I was and you spanked me like you described, I'd run away from home and never return.
David

AOL

#129 Jun 24, 2008
It makes me wonder if kids that DO run away are those that were spanked too much by their parents. I don't know, but it's possible, I guess. I say violence is never the answer and spanking is most certainly violence, no matter how good your intentions are. That's why it's considered abuse.

Since: Jun 08

Dodge City, KS

#130 Jun 24, 2008
Kids run away for a variety of reasons. From not being able to go on a date to getting severly beaten to not liking mommy's new boyfriend. It all has to do with the mentality of the individual. I seriously think a well thought out spanking of a kid for doing something they know they shouldn't is in the minority of reasons for running away.

Since: Jun 08

Beaverton, OR

#131 Jun 24, 2008
David wrote:
It makes me wonder if kids that DO run away are those that were spanked too much by their parents. I don't know, but it's possible, I guess. I say violence is never the answer and spanking is most certainly violence, no matter how good your intentions are. That's why it's considered abuse.
My mom's co-worker's kid was never spanked and she is now in juvenile detention. As I've said before,my mom crossed into the "beating" area and I've never ran away. It just depends on the person and how they take it. I'm pretty sure that if someone is pounding your skull,yeah,you'll want to run away,but it someone taps your bottom with a paddle? Pssh. That's ice cream compared to what my mom did to my siblings and I. I was pretty lucky though,because she was older when she had me.

Level 1

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#132 Jun 24, 2008
cal wrote:
I have rules. You break them you get spanked. I use my hand and there behavior works them up to how they will get it. Pants up, pants down, bare bottom. I do have a paddle only to be used for the worst behavior and at times it has been used. Most of the time I have them bend over. Sometimes I do the knee and sometimes I don't. I have a rule though, and that is I spank at home. They will get the warning "I am going to spank you when I get home" and as soon as we get home they know know what to do. They go to there room and stand in the conor. From there we procede. At times they will go in there room and automactically bend over with pants down. Another rule is that if both parents are home the kid gets to pick which parent spanks. Dad spanks harder so most of time I am the spanker. There are times when dad will come home and I will tell him which kid is bad and he will spank. I firmly believe in it. I was spanked as a child along with my husband. We had sore bottoms but we learned. I also have there grandparents spank them if needed
Maybe it's the way in which your behavior is being described but I find your system quite disturbing. There are other methods of teaching children that are as or more effective and don't require inflicting pain.

Since: Oct 07

San Jose, CA

#133 Jun 26, 2008
David wrote:
It makes me wonder if kids that DO run away are those that were spanked too much by their parents. I don't know, but it's possible, I guess. I say violence is never the answer and spanking is most certainly violence, no matter how good your intentions are. That's why it's considered abuse.
Spanking is not child abuse. I looked it up in the CA penal code. There has to be "lasting injury" for it to be considered child abuse.

Since: May 07

Lake Huron, Ontario

#134 Jun 26, 2008
TokyoDoku wrote:
<quoted text>
My mom's co-worker's kid was never spanked and she is now in juvenile detention. As I've said before,my mom crossed into the "beating" area and I've never ran away. It just depends on the person and how they take it. I'm pretty sure that if someone is pounding your skull,yeah,you'll want to run away,but it someone taps your bottom with a paddle? Pssh. That's ice cream compared to what my mom did to my siblings and I. I was pretty lucky though,because she was older when she had me.
Hi. I spanked my daughter (now 24) twice (one swat, on the bottom both times, clothes on) and hated that I hurt her. It was more out of my stress and over reacting to her behaviour then what she was diong - which I find is often the case. Basically she was raised without being spanked (but for those two awful times!) and she has turned out to be a wonderful, contributing adult. There has to be consequences for actions that can be anything fom loss of privilages, time outs, extra chores etc.. With my daughter these things worked fine. That said I've seen other kids that it didn't work for, but neither did the spanking. I thik there is more then just spanking a child/not spanking a child that makes them turn out to be 'good' or 'bad' as adults.

Since: May 07

Lake Huron, Ontario

#135 Jun 26, 2008
cal wrote:
I have rules. You break them you get spanked. I use my hand and there behavior works them up to how they will get it. Pants up, pants down, bare bottom. I do have a paddle only to be used for the worst behavior and at times it has been used. Most of the time I have them bend over. Sometimes I do the knee and sometimes I don't. I have a rule though, and that is I spank at home. They will get the warning "I am going to spank you when I get home" and as soon as we get home they know know what to do. They go to there room and stand in the conor. From there we procede. At times they will go in there room and automactically bend over with pants down. Another rule is that if both parents are home the kid gets to pick which parent spanks. Dad spanks harder so most of time I am the spanker. There are times when dad will come home and I will tell him which kid is bad and he will spank. I firmly believe in it. I was spanked as a child along with my husband. We had sore bottoms but we learned. I also have there grandparents spank them if needed
There is some humiliation factor in both over the knee and pants down. There is fear in waiting for dad to come home. What does this teach your children? Parenting is about teaching and not just controlling their behaviou. Sounds like spankings happens often enough in your house - how is it working for you? I don't think it is.

“Coeur Du Voyage!”

Level 1

Since: Jun 08

Wyoming!

#136 Jun 26, 2008
Callie wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi. I spanked my daughter (now 24) twice (one swat, on the bottom both times, clothes on) and hated that I hurt her. It was more out of my stress and over reacting to her behaviour then what she was diong - which I find is often the case. Basically she was raised without being spanked (but for those two awful times!) and she has turned out to be a wonderful, contributing adult. There has to be consequences for actions that can be anything fom loss of privilages, time outs, extra chores etc.. With my daughter these things worked fine. That said I've seen other kids that it didn't work for, but neither did the spanking. I thik there is more then just spanking a child/not spanking a child that makes them turn out to be 'good' or 'bad' as adults.
I think you are right. Cant spank out of anger, but to teach. We never had to spank often, or for long. Didnt have to spank any our kids after about 5. It was actually funny, many times while playing we might pop one of the kids harder than we spank, and they just keep playing and laughing, but when we'd spank them, not half as hard, they'd bawl and carry on, just cuz they knew we were disappointed in whatever they had done, which they learned was not accepted.

Since: May 07

Lake Huron, Ontario

#137 Jun 26, 2008
Wyoming1st wrote:
<quoted text>
I think you are right. Cant spank out of anger, but to teach. We never had to spank often, or for long. Didnt have to spank any our kids after about 5. It was actually funny, many times while playing we might pop one of the kids harder than we spank, and they just keep playing and laughing, but when we'd spank them, not half as hard, they'd bawl and carry on, just cuz they knew we were disappointed in whatever they had done, which they learned was not accepted.
Hi. Yes I mentioned teaching and not just controlling children in another post. It's not about 'I'm bigger then you' or "I'm the boss' but it is about 'I need you need to listen to me'. I'm not an authority, just mom of one and she was an easy enough child. I do know there are some children that this doesn't work for and I don't claim to have the answers. I just know inflicting pain to anyone is NOT the answer.
Stacey

Tempe, AZ

#138 Jun 26, 2008
I love CROCKY wrote:
Spanking gives force. The child hits the cat, it gets a spanking. No more hitting the cat she/he will get a spanking. But as the child gets older it will think it doesnt hurt anymore. So the child will think 'i can get away with running into the street because the spankings dont hurt. And if you make them more forceful, that will be a low level as abuse. But it IS effective and i cant find anything as effective as spanking but there needs to be. Grounding would work. If you say no ice cream or take away her/or his favorite toy, you HAVE to be strong with it. You cant let go of your standards.
How many kids do you have?
Stacey

Tempe, AZ

#139 Jun 26, 2008
David wrote:
<quoted text>
No offense, but I'd hate to be one of your kids. If I was and you spanked me like you described, I'd run away from home and never return.
You are so damn whiney. Grow some balls.
I love CROCKY

Spring, TX

#140 Jun 26, 2008
Stacey wrote:
<quoted text>How many kids do you have?
What in the....??

Since: May 08

United States

#141 Jun 26, 2008
All I can say is (since I don't have kids), that my Mom didn't believe in hitting, or spanking me.
Just teaches kids to hit.

Maybe that explains why, from the non-existence of it....I like it so much. Seriously, could be a no lie sitchyation. Hmmm.
;-)

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