Do you or have you spanked your child...

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#374 Jun 16, 2009
I was whipped with wire coat hangers...that was my mom's thing.

Nothing quite like a 6 year old boy being held by the hair dancing around trying to get out of the way of the metal coat hanger.

I spanked my daughter once as she was growing up and once (regretably) slapped her mouth for a verbal indiscretion.

I vowed, as a parent, to not resort to physical discipline if at all possible.

However, I do think a spanking not done in anger is just fine if the situation warrants it.
objective

Coaldale, Canada

#375 Jun 16, 2009
common sense and mrs katie, i agree with 99% of what you say.

mrs katie - hwover - this is my personal opinion - but i would never be able to condone seeing an adult pullig down a child's clothign to spank- you yourself said there are more humialiating things than getting a slap - remvoing a child's clothing, exposing a child's body for all to see then slapping it, is meant to degrade, not only humiliate. maybe i just have strong hands- i have never had to spank (with my open hands on their clothed butts) my kids more than once for a wrong doing - and i have never had to take their clothes off them to get the message across.

i'm sorry but i am completely against that form of punishment. as for the rst - yes - if it takes a good hard hand or two on the rump to deal with many kids - swat away.
Opinion

Britton, MI

#376 Jun 16, 2009
Perfect example of what is wrong with the youth today: It's all about me !! Which child do you think will fear doing something wrong: Your's because he/she might have to sit in the "Happy Chair"or in "Time Out" or mine who knows his/her butt will get busted. A spanking isn't abuse by the way it is called "responsible parenting". Try it you might knock some of that smart ass attitude out of them!
William Pena wrote:
Spanking is abuse...period. So who typically spanks anymore? An ignorant person who does it because "my pappy done did it to me, so it must work, by golly" or a lazy person who does not want to bother learning and using effective, non-abusive parenting skills.
Opinion

Britton, MI

#377 Jun 16, 2009
Amen Gloria, Amen!!!
gloria wrote:
<quoted text>
And a very good, sensible one, too.
Opinion

Britton, MI

#378 Jun 16, 2009
Another perfect example: My daughter has two sons which are 4 & 8. She said after the first one " I will never spank my children nor will anyone else".
Response from me: "Doesn't apply when I'm the adult in charge of them". What did she say , nothing & why, because she respects me and knows I would never spank unless it was the proper correction. I never spanked my children without telling them first not to do something BUT I didn't tell them a second time.
I had to spank the oldest several times over the years but to this day, never the youngest. He knows I'm not lying when I say something. I don't make threats , I don't scream & yell. I don't have to. Those boys don't want a day to go by without spending time with me and they are the best. I take them everywhere and we have a great time.
Yet when I go to their home, they are yelling , won't go to bed and all the other things children do when they get threats and time outs. My daughter remarks that the boys are so much different with me but she still try's and reason. She is always reading books about new parenting. Christ I told her to put down the books and start teaching respect. She has told me she will as soon as she finishes this latest book she is reading - GEEZ!!
Mrs Katie

United States

#379 Jun 16, 2009
Objective, I respect your opinion. This is quite a small difference in our beliefs and despite it I think its is great that we can both see the bigger picture. I mean that for everyone who agreed with my post as well or shares similar beliefs. Well done.
objective

Burnaby, Canada

#380 Jun 17, 2009
Mrs Katie wrote:
Objective, I respect your opinion. This is quite a small difference in our beliefs and despite it I think its is great that we can both see the bigger picture. I mean that for everyone who agreed with my post as well or shares similar beliefs. Well done.
i've stood in disbelief many times in shopping centres etc listening to parents trying to "reason" with little johnny while he lies on the floor kicking and squealing like a pig because he can't have the latest batman toy or candy bar.

my kid tried this once - i simply said "bye" and walked off, then hid where i could see him and he not me, until he realised i had gone and he couldnt find me when i didnt immediately answer his calls and let him sweat it out instead. when he "found" me he cried that i had "left" him. i said i thought he was screaming because he wanted someone else for a parent, so i went away so he could find himself a new one. he never EVER did it again. this doesn't work for every kid though.

of course kids test parents when they have an audience. sometimes outsmarting the kid works better than a slap, sometimes it doesn't. either way, the kid needs to know you mean it, and you have to carry though, not buy them a treat 5 mins later becuase you feel guilty for disciplining them.

so many parents either both work, or work more than two jobs to make ends meet - sometimes its "easier" for them to give in when they're exhausted and come home after a tiring day to face a squalling brat, with out looking down the road as seeing they're encouraging it. so many other parents are interested in their own "likes" and the local bars etc before they will take their kids out to the playground as a family, so kids get left to their own devices. so very many kids witness more abuse between their parents than they do out on the 'streets', its a crazy world we're in.
Krypteia

Brighton, UK

#381 Jun 18, 2009
I did but not anymore...Well actually he's twenty now and might beat the crap out of me..
Brian

United States

#382 Jun 18, 2009
I found a father who wrote this about how he disciplines his daughter:

"I have a 4 year old daughter that I have been trying to potty train for months now but she simply won't learn, so now when she wets/messes herself my wife and I have decided to spank her. She wears store brand pull-ups during the day (why bother buying name brand if she is going to use them like diapers) and huggies pull-ups nitetime at night (they hold more) so both types of training pants have wetness indicators. I call them spanking indicators as because as soon as they fade because Sarah wet herself I give her a spanking. I normally have her wear only a t-shirt and training pants around the house or t-shirt and a skirt in public so its easy to see when she wets. When I notice she is wet I immediately pull down her training pants and put her over my knee. Then I spank her with my hand 15 times for wetting or 25 for messing. After I am done she is pink bottomed. little girl who is crying hard. Then it is back in the wet pull-up for 30 minutes of corner time. After that I change her pull-up and give her 5 more good swats before I put the new one on. Maybe this will finally change her mind about potty training. I also spank Sarah when she has been naughty. I give her a warning and if she continues to misbehave I pull down her training pants and spank her on the spot over my knee. If she has been really bad I sometime get a hairbrush or wooden spoon. If I do that I take her to her room and then put her in a diaper and nothing else. I scold her and tell her if she is going to act like a baby she will be treated like one. I then unfasten the tapes on the diaper and pull her over my knee with the diaper still on in front. This is because Sarah sometimes wets herself when I spank her with the hairbrush. I then deliver a good number of swats (depends on the offense). By the end Sarah's butt is nice and red and she is bawling. If she wets during the spanking I then leave the diaper on her after I'm done and let her sit in the wet diaper until she goes again and its nice and full. Then I spank her like I do when she wets. Luckily I have only had to spank her three times with the hairbrush. Besides not potty training Sarah is normally a pretty well behaved girl."

This seems very harsh at first,but after letting it sink in I thought its probably not as bad as it sounds and if they are good parents otherwise and this is working...I guess its cool,but that depends on where you stand I guess (if you approve or not of spanking,and the method & severity you believe as well). Not condemning nor condoning the guy.
objective

Burnaby, Canada

#383 Jun 19, 2009
Brian wrote:
I found a father who wrote this about how he disciplines his daughter:
"I have a 4 year old daughter that I have been trying to potty train for months now but she simply won't learn, so now when she wets/messes herself my wife and I have decided to spank her. She wears store brand pull-ups during the day (why bother buying name brand if she is going to use them like diapers) and huggies pull-ups nitetime at night (they hold more) so both types of training pants have wetness indicators. I call them spanking indicators as because as soon as they fade because Sarah wet herself I give her a spanking. I normally have her wear only a t-shirt and training pants around the house or t-shirt and a skirt in public so its easy to see when she wets. When I notice she is wet I immediately pull down her training pants and put her over my knee. Then I spank her with my hand 15 times for wetting or 25 for messing. After I am done she is pink bottomed. little girl who is crying hard. Then it is back in the wet pull-up for 30 minutes of corner time. After that I change her pull-up and give her 5 more good swats before I put the new one on. Maybe this will finally change her mind about potty training. I also spank Sarah when she has been naughty. I give her a warning and if she continues to misbehave I pull down her training pants and spank her on the spot over my knee. If she has been really bad I sometime get a hairbrush or wooden spoon. If I do that I take her to her room and then put her in a diaper and nothing else. I scold her and tell her if she is going to act like a baby she will be treated like one. I then unfasten the tapes on the diaper and pull her over my knee with the diaper still on in front. This is because Sarah sometimes wets herself when I spank her with the hairbrush. I then deliver a good number of swats (depends on the offense). By the end Sarah's butt is nice and red and she is bawling. If she wets during the spanking I then leave the diaper on her after I'm done and let her sit in the wet diaper until she goes again and its nice and full. Then I spank her like I do when she wets. Luckily I have only had to spank her three times with the hairbrush. Besides not potty training Sarah is normally a pretty well behaved girl."
This seems very harsh at first,but after letting it sink in I thought its probably not as bad as it sounds and if they are good parents otherwise and this is working...I guess its cool,but that depends on where you stand I guess (if you approve or not of spanking,and the method & severity you believe as well). Not condemning nor condoning the guy.
if thats an accepted form of "potty training" and "good parentig", i am left speechless. read between the lines again.
gloria

Los Angeles, CA

#384 Jun 19, 2009
Brian wrote:
I found a father who wrote this about how he disciplines his daughter:
"I have a 4 year old daughter that I have been trying to potty train for months now but she simply won't learn, so now when she wets/messes herself my wife and I have decided to spank her. She wears store brand pull-ups during the day (why bother buying name brand if she is going to use them like diapers) and huggies pull-ups nitetime at night (they hold more) so both types of training pants have wetness indicators. I call them spanking indicators as because as soon as they fade because Sarah wet herself I give her a spanking. I normally have her wear only a t-shirt and training pants around the house or t-shirt and a skirt in public so its easy to see when she wets. When I notice she is wet I immediately pull down her training pants and put her over my knee. Then I spank her with my hand 15 times for wetting or 25 for messing. After I am done she is pink bottomed. little girl who is crying hard. Then it is back in the wet pull-up for 30 minutes of corner time. After that I change her pull-up and give her 5 more good swats before I put the new one on. Maybe this will finally change her mind about potty training. I also spank Sarah when she has been naughty. I give her a warning and if she continues to misbehave I pull down her training pants and spank her on the spot over my knee. If she has been really bad I sometime get a hairbrush or wooden spoon. If I do that I take her to her room and then put her in a diaper and nothing else. I scold her and tell her if she is going to act like a baby she will be treated like one. I then unfasten the tapes on the diaper and pull her over my knee with the diaper still on in front. This is because Sarah sometimes wets herself when I spank her with the hairbrush. I then deliver a good number of swats (depends on the offense). By the end Sarah's butt is nice and red and she is bawling. If she wets during the spanking I then leave the diaper on her after I'm done and let her sit in the wet diaper until she goes again and its nice and full. Then I spank her like I do when she wets. Luckily I have only had to spank her three times with the hairbrush. Besides not potty training Sarah is normally a pretty well behaved girl."
This seems very harsh at first,but after letting it sink in I thought its probably not as bad as it sounds and if they are good parents otherwise and this is working...I guess its cool,but that depends on where you stand I guess (if you approve or not of spanking,and the method & severity you believe as well). Not condemning nor condoning the guy.
Potty training accidents definitely DO NOT fall into the category of offenses that warrant a spanking.If anything, the thought of a spanking will cause anxiety and make the training much more difficult and the baby could associate using the bathroom with being bad.They can't help it if they have an accident.Those parents should be making a big deal about the times when Sarah successfully uses the potty and stop the paddlings(and I'm sure the yelling and berating, too) for having accidents.Have patience. She will get it right in time.That's just plain meanness.
gloria

Los Angeles, CA

#385 Jun 19, 2009
Brian wrote:
I found a father who wrote this about how he disciplines his daughter:
"I have a 4 year old daughter that I have been trying to potty train for months now but she simply won't learn, so now when she wets/messes herself my wife and I have decided to spank her. She wears store brand pull-ups during the day (why bother buying name brand if she is going to use them like diapers) and huggies pull-ups nitetime at night (they hold more) so both types of training pants have wetness indicators. I call them spanking indicators as because as soon as they fade because Sarah wet herself I give her a spanking. I normally have her wear only a t-shirt and training pants around the house or t-shirt and a skirt in public so its easy to see when she wets. When I notice she is wet I immediately pull down her training pants and put her over my knee. Then I spank her with my hand 15 times for wetting or 25 for messing. After I am done she is pink bottomed. little girl who is crying hard. Then it is back in the wet pull-up for 30 minutes of corner time. After that I change her pull-up and give her 5 more good swats before I put the new one on. Maybe this will finally change her mind about potty training. I also spank Sarah when she has been naughty. I give her a warning and if she continues to misbehave I pull down her training pants and spank her on the spot over my knee. If she has been really bad I sometime get a hairbrush or wooden spoon. If I do that I take her to her room and then put her in a diaper and nothing else. I scold her and tell her if she is going to act like a baby she will be treated like one. I then unfasten the tapes on the diaper and pull her over my knee with the diaper still on in front. This is because Sarah sometimes wets herself when I spank her with the hairbrush. I then deliver a good number of swats (depends on the offense). By the end Sarah's butt is nice and red and she is bawling. If she wets during the spanking I then leave the diaper on her after I'm done and let her sit in the wet diaper until she goes again and its nice and full. Then I spank her like I do when she wets. Luckily I have only had to spank her three times with the hairbrush. Besides not potty training Sarah is normally a pretty well behaved girl."
This seems very harsh at first,but after letting it sink in I thought its probably not as bad as it sounds and if they are good parents otherwise and this is working...I guess its cool,but that depends on where you stand I guess (if you approve or not of spanking,and the method & severity you believe as well). Not condemning nor condoning the guy.
Poor Sarah.....

:(
common sense

Morgantown, WV

#386 Jun 19, 2009
I don't have to read between the lines on this one to know that this is abuse. I doubt very seriously if this child is intentionally 'refusing' to be potty trained. Especially knowing that if she makes a mistake her butt is going to be busted. Try a doctor ato see if there is any physical problem and if not, someone better change their approach to this or they are going to really mentally scar this child. If she is choosing to not potty, maybe it is one of those things where that is the one area that she can control in her life and she's hanging on to that control, even if it hurts her. Why would she choose to do something that she knows is going to cause her pain, embarassment and humiliation? Please change your approach to this now. Give her more time. She will learn, she's getting old enough to start pre-school. I haven't seen a child in pre-school yet still wearing diapers. They may have an accident occasionally but they do NOT want to wear diapers to school. Give this and her a break.

Level 1

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

#387 Jun 19, 2009
Fast Money wrote:
Do you believe in corporal punishment? I believe that there is a difference between a good old fashioned ass whipping and abuse or severe beatings. Spare the rod and spoil the child. I think that we see evidence of this more and more every day. This "time out" or "grounding" crap doesn't always work. Once in a while a kid needs a good jolt to straighten their ass out. Of course the worst thing that you can do is to hug them and cry and say "I love you" after delivering the sore bottom side. That defeats the purpose of the act.
Yes, I have.

And, if you don't know the difference between a spanking and a beating, then just hang it up.
You're no different than the legions of the "Spock Followers".

Dr. B. Spock was the one that wrote all the books, and all the white papers saying that there wasn't any good reason for a spanking. He likned it to child abuse.

Now THAT was when he was raising his SON.

A few decades later, he got remarried, fathered a GIRL.

NEEDLESS TO SAY,

He rewrote the book.

"Only the Good Die Young.......

WE BEOTCHES LIVE FOREVER"
hey

United States

#388 Jun 19, 2009
a detailed poll on the spanking of toddlers(very detailed) a mother created to try and get a broad spectrum of opinions of how and why spankings should be administered at this age(assuming that you would give them)

http://www.misterpoll.com/polls/438621
nikken80

Taylors, SC

#389 Jun 19, 2009
Maybe some of the kids walkin around Bellefontaine now-a-days wouldn't be half as bad if their parents had the balls to spank them when they got out of hand instead of not giving a shit about where they were. Some of the trouble maker's and these daisy duke wearin little whores would actually be half decent if they had parents that were willing to lay down a firm hand every once and awhile. I came from a family who believed in spanking and I turned out just fine. My children are good kids that do well in school and respect their elders and teachers...maybe b/c I take the time to be a parent.
Sarah

United States

#390 Jun 22, 2009
There is a spanking manual written by Mariam Fredrick on Pisca Web. It is from 1925,very old but I have read all 148 pages of it and I must say it is very interesting. Let me add that this was a published book,well written and not a hoax or a book of lies or opinion. The author was a well educated lady who had studied much about children and babies.
She had studied many of the then "new" non-spanking methods as well as all forms of corporal punishment. Basically,she ended up coming to conclusion after many dedicated hours of study that spanking was a very good means of correction.
Mrs. Fredrick stated how "beating" a child with belts,straps,sticks,whips,and switches were very cruel,harsh punishments to the child. These kind of punishments were abusive and likely to injure as well as ineffective at correcting the childs behavior/actions.
What she did reccomend however was hard,sound spankings. These were to be given bare bottomed over the mothers lap with her hand or if absolutely necessary a thin paddle. The spankings were given until the childs bottom was very red and they were given as needed. So once the child had had a warning or knew to do/not to do something and did it...a spanking occurred. She did not yell,or scold,but simply told the child of his/her expectations and spanked for offenses. When spanking was over the child went back to a normal day. The system was very fair.
It was also interesting that she mostly spanked the babies and young children. It was common for her to spank children 2-5 years of age. She even had spanked some 9 month olds. In the case of babies,she spanked them as soon as they misbehaved like throwing a tantrum,stuff like that. It sounds harsh,but she reasons how no damage is done,pain of spanking is over in a few minutes and the childs behavior improves though it sometimes took several spankings. She has had much experience with lots of young tots and said how effective her method was every single time...and that the children she cared for and used this on absolutely loved her,were happy babies/children and had much improved behavior.
Why did this work? Because she was fair and was very consistent with it. If the child did something that warrented punishment/correction,a spanking was given...nothing less,nothing more. I myself found this to be a very interesting take on spanking. If you read it yourself,there is no denying that what she writes about does make sense. And one honestly cannot dispute her credit,as she had lots and lots of experience with children. Best bet is to read it for yourself,like it or not,almost all of it does make sense...and if followed as she reccomended,it would be quite easy to believe it worked as she claimed even going so far as to spank babies. Again,before you declare me insane,stupid or cruel all of which I am not,you should read this book(it is a must for those parents who want to use spanking or for those who already do,and even the anti-spankers should give it some attention as this contains real experience). If anyone is interested in this(some/all of you should be) I'll post the link.
objective

Burnaby, Canada

#391 Jul 3, 2009
Sarah wrote:
There is a spanking manual written by Mariam Fredrick on Pisca Web. It is from 1925,very old but I have read all 148 pages of it and I must say it is very interesting. Let me add that this was a published book,well written and not a hoax or a book of lies or opinion. The author was a well educated lady who had studied much about children and babies.
She had studied many of the then "new" non-spanking methods as well as all forms of corporal punishment. Basically,she ended up coming to conclusion after many dedicated hours of study that spanking was a very good means of correction.
Mrs. Fredrick stated how "beating" a child with belts,straps,sticks,whips,and switches were very cruel,harsh punishments to the child. These kind of punishments were abusive and likely to injure as well as ineffective at correcting the childs behavior/actions.
What she did reccomend however was hard,sound spankings. These were to be given bare bottomed over the mothers lap with her hand or if absolutely necessary a thin paddle. The spankings were given until the childs bottom was very red and they were given as needed. So once the child had had a warning or knew to do/not to do something and did it...a spanking occurred. She did not yell,or scold,but simply told the child of his/her expectations and spanked for offenses. When spanking was over the child went back to a normal day. The system was very fair.
It was also interesting that she mostly spanked the babies and young children. It was common for her to spank children 2-5 years of age. She even had spanked some 9 month olds. In the case of babies,she spanked them as soon as they misbehaved like throwing a tantrum,stuff like that. It sounds harsh,but she reasons how no damage is done,pain of spanking is over in a few minutes and the childs behavior improves though it sometimes took several spankings. She has had much experience with lots of young tots and said how effective her method was every single time...and that the children she cared for and used this on absolutely loved her,were happy babies/children and had much improved behavior.
Why did this work? Because she was fair and was very consistent with it. If the child did something that warrented punishment/correction,a spanking was given...nothing less,nothing more. I myself found this to be a very interesting take on spanking. If you read it yourself,there is no denying that what she writes about does make sense. And one honestly cannot dispute her credit,as she had lots and lots of experience with children. Best bet is to read it for yourself,like it or not,almost all of it does make sense...and if followed as she reccomended,it would be quite easy to believe it worked as she claimed even going so far as to spank babies. Again,before you declare me insane,stupid or cruel all of which I am not,you should read this book(it is a must for those parents who want to use spanking or for those who already do,and even the anti-spankers should give it some attention as this contains real experience). If anyone is interested in this(some/all of you should be) I'll post the link.
in 1925, disabled ppl were locked away from mainstream society. if she advocated spanking 9 month old babies, its thankful times have changed since then.
Sarah

United States

#392 Jul 5, 2009
I understand the initial reaction, not saying you have to agree with it but when read almost all of her beliefs and methods do make alot of sense. Doesn't mean you have to like, agree with or practice what she says, but I must tell you that if someone were to follow exactly what she said they would most likely find great sucess and have wonderfully behaved children by early childhood. I'm sure you'll have an argument or defense against this, but realize I am not attacking you or anyone else, simply stating my opinion which is neither right or wrong, just like yours...And as long as someone is not injuring nor leaving bruises on the child, I see no problem spanking the way she prescribed for appropriate times when correction is needed. Lastly I must say my great grandfather was from that time period and was the best man, honest, hard working and giving/caring that I and my family has ever known. He was raised in this time period with similar methods and the results speak for themselves. There will always be bad people, etc...spanking is not to blame...there have always been bad people in the world, we just hear about it more now that we have better technology with the media, etc...taking spanking out of the picture will not stop this, period. And I mean spanking, not popping or swatting a padded bottom a couple times. If you call that spanking then you do not believe in spanking. Again, before you blast me, I mean no hostility nor desrespect so please if you respond be polite as I have tried to do so respectfully.
objective

Burnaby, Canada

#393 Jul 7, 2009
Sarah wrote:
I understand the initial reaction, not saying you have to agree with it but when read almost all of her beliefs and methods do make alot of sense. Doesn't mean you have to like, agree with or practice what she says, but I must tell you that if someone were to follow exactly what she said they would most likely find great sucess and have wonderfully behaved children by early childhood. I'm sure you'll have an argument or defense against this, but realize I am not attacking you or anyone else, simply stating my opinion which is neither right or wrong, just like yours...And as long as someone is not injuring nor leaving bruises on the child, I see no problem spanking the way she prescribed for appropriate times when correction is needed. Lastly I must say my great grandfather was from that time period and was the best man, honest, hard working and giving/caring that I and my family has ever known. He was raised in this time period with similar methods and the results speak for themselves. There will always be bad people, etc...spanking is not to blame...there have always been bad people in the world, we just hear about it more now that we have better technology with the media, etc...taking spanking out of the picture will not stop this, period. And I mean spanking, not popping or swatting a padded bottom a couple times. If you call that spanking then you do not believe in spanking. Again, before you blast me, I mean no hostility nor desrespect so please if you respond be polite as I have tried to do so respectfully.
there is a vast difference between swatting a child, who is capable ot knowing in even the most basic ways for why it is being punished, on the rump with a hand, which i personally have no problem with within reason, to "spanking" or "paddling' a small baby of barely crawling age who cannot even comprehend what is happening around it, besides fear and pain of the action, and resulting fear of the parent who is supposed to be nuturing it.

beating a little baby is not "spanking" - not in any language, no matter how anyone tries to flower it over.

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