Excuses to avoid work

Since: Jun 09

Location hidden

#127 Mar 10, 2012
Faking one's death.
Department of Labor

Toledo, OH

#128 Mar 10, 2012
Ferrerman wrote:
Faking one's death.
How the Hell would you know??? You've never had a JOB. LOL!
Sean Unimpugnable

Martinsville, IN

#129 Mar 10, 2012
Want to see my bracket picks?

“Hey ,yawl !”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

How ya doin? N.C.

#130 Mar 10, 2012
I heard there was a bomb threat at work. So I stayed home.

“If it ain't broke don't fix it”

Level 9

Since: Jul 09

Arcadia, LA.

#131 Mar 10, 2012
Purple Gurl wrote:
"I'm feeling homicidal. I will gladly come to work if I can bring some guns, otherwise, I'll stay home."
I didn't know you worked for the USPS :0)
Sean Unimpugnable

Martinsville, IN

#132 Mar 10, 2012
"Check it out! I have all number 2 seeds in my bracket!"

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#133 Mar 13, 2012
I've decided to live off of welfare and the proceeds of my copper thievery.
Leroy Booker

Huntington, NY

#134 Mar 13, 2012
Naughtyrobot wrote:
I've decided to live off of welfare and the proceeds of my copper thievery.
You jus don't be doin dat in my territory!!!!

Level 5

Since: Apr 10

Liverpool, NY

#135 Mar 13, 2012
I hurt myself doing pilates (a girl actually called in with this one at one job I had).

“Bring the rain”

Level 5

Since: Sep 11

GrrrRooOuuNnDD!!

#136 Mar 13, 2012
I was just there yesterday.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#137 Mar 13, 2012
Leroy Booker wrote:
<quoted text>
You jus don't be doin dat in my territory!!!!
Can I pimp out hoes in your hood, we could set up a time share agreement. Does being a pimp count as going to work? My street walkers won't slap themselves around.

“To contract new debts...”

Level 6

Since: Apr 08

is not the way to pay old ones

#138 Mar 13, 2012
"Just got sprayed by a skunk, will be a few minutes late..."

The boss told me to stay home so it worked.
Unfinished Job 1 verse 1

Martinsville, IN

#139 Mar 19, 2012
"Who do you like in the final-four?"

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#140 Mar 19, 2012
OMG!! I'm puking up red stuff..gotta go to the ER..(ketchup heaves)

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#141 Mar 20, 2012
I'm too busy banging this buxom chick named Shika that works at Walmart.

“Loyal To My Roots”

Since: Mar 12

Wherever I May Roam

#142 Mar 20, 2012
Anal Blindness, because I don't see my ass coming to work.

“To contract new debts...”

Level 6

Since: Apr 08

is not the way to pay old ones

#143 Mar 20, 2012
Sorry boss, I gave a damn when I got up but I'm better now.

“Maddie Mae”

Level 8

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#144 Mar 6, 2013
Must shop instead!

(I really did use this one today)

Level 6

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#145 Mar 6, 2013
I won't be working today. The nerves in my eyes got crossed with the ones in my azz and I have a shatty outlook on work

“So it's not you, It's them?”

Level 9

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#146 Mar 6, 2013
"Please excuse Chilli J from work today. He has an even worse attitude than usual... Signed, Chilli J"

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