What is your best inappropriate joke?

What is your best inappropriate joke?

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“Southern Pride”

Level 7

Since: Feb 11

American right to fly it

#2 Nov 24, 2013
Topix won't let me post it, ha ha ha

“If it ain't broke don't fix it”

Level 9

Since: Jul 09

Arcadia, LA.

#3 Nov 24, 2013
I have so many of them. Where to begin...
Independent

United States

#4 Jan 15, 2014
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Okay, send me your mother."

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#6 Apr 16, 2016
Two gay men were having sex and the door rang. As the one got up to get the door, he told his partner not to c*m until he got back. When he came back, there was semen all over the sheets. He was disappointed and reminded his partner what he told him. The partner replied, "I didn't c*m, I only farted!"

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7 Apr 16, 2016
A man was going on a long business trip and wanted something to entertain his wife while he was gone. He found the idea of her cheating on him disturbing (though he probably considered getting himself some action while on the trip). So he went to an adult store and asked the clerk. The clerk showed him a wide selection of vibrators and other toys, and he wanted something different for her.

The clerk finally mentioned that there was a product called a voodoo penis, but that he had only one and was not ready to part with it. The clerk demonstrated how it worked, that all you had to do was issue commands to it and it would do about whatever you wanted. He told it to mount the keyhole and the voodoo penis went to the door and attempted to mate the keyhole, and the entire door split. The businessman finally was able to name a price that the clerk would accept.

So the businessman gave his wife the voodoo penis, but without giving the command to make it return to its box. After a few days, she got incredibly horny and remembered the command. So she said, "Voodoo penis my vagina" and it went in her and started thrusting and thrusting. She reached orgasm several times, but after a while, it was getting old. She didn't know how to make it stop, so she decided to drive to the hospital to see if they could help. Being in such discomfort, she was swerving, and it wasn't long that she got the attention of a police officer. The officer pulled her over and asked why she was driving so erratically. He even wanted to know what she had been drinking. She tried to explain that she had a voodoo penis stuck in her vagina.

The cop's reply? "Voodoo penis my a**!"

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#8 Apr 18, 2016
Harley.
andet1987

Chicago, IL

#9 Apr 18, 2016
tall, handsome, muscular, with mustache but wearing a ........................... panty

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#10 Apr 20, 2016
Little Johnny had to piss really bad so he ran to the bathroom and accidentally burst in on his mother while she was in the tub. His mother quickly tried to cover herself up with her hands since that's all she could do but little Johnny caught a glimpse of it all. With confusion little Johnny looked down between her legs, pointed at it and asked her what that was. She didn't know what to say so she simply told him "that is just where your father sliced me with his axe. Little Johnny replied "geeze, he must have great aim mom, he got you right in the p*ssy!"

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#11 Apr 20, 2016
Q: How does a blind gynecologist successfully perform his checkups?

A: By smell

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#12 Apr 20, 2016
Q: What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her p^ssy?

A: There isn't always something retarded coming out of her p^ssy... only sometimes.

“If it ain't broke don't fix it”

Level 9

Since: Jul 09

Arcadia, LA.

#13 Apr 20, 2016
Zom13 wrote:
Q: What is the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her p^ssy?

A: There isn't always something retarded coming out of her p^ssy... only sometimes.
LMAO!!!!!

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#14 Apr 20, 2016
Zom13 wrote:
Q: How does a blind gynecologist successfully perform his checkups?

A: By smell
I guess the punchline is the same as to this riddle:

How do blind racists know who to hate?
andet1987
#15 Apr 20, 2016
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>

I guess the punchline is the same as to this riddle:

How do blind racists know who to hate?
the way someone speaks English, i guess :)
andet1987
#16 Apr 20, 2016
i encountered someone at night. after i removed my clothes, he thew my clothes on top of building roof. i went home fully nude. nobody saw me, middle of the night. that guy just disappeared. we didn't have sex. that was long time ago.
andet1987
#17 Apr 20, 2016
threw

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#18 Apr 20, 2016
andet1987 wrote:
<quoted text>

the way someone speaks English, i guess :)
Actually, I was expecting the same answer as the other one.:-)

Q: Why do _____ stink?
A: So blind racists can hate them too.

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#19 Apr 20, 2016
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>

Actually, I was expecting the same answer as the other one.:-)

Q: Why do _____ stink?
A: So blind racists can hate them too.
I seen that on the other thread. Your joke posts crack me up.

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#20 Apr 20, 2016
If you want a quality sh!tting table then you must go german and not swedish. Those sweeds don't know crap about sh!t!

Level 1

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#21 Apr 20, 2016
Q: Why did moses and the israelites wander the desert for fourty years?

A: Because one of them dropped a penny in the sand somewhere.

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#22 Apr 20, 2016
Zom13 wrote:
<quoted text>

I seen that on the other thread. Your joke posts crack me up.
Which other thread? The stupid pondering thread, the other joke thread, or one of the ones in Af-Am? I tell so many. And I'm so p*ssed off right now that I got p*ssed in the British sense of the term (drunk), and I'm clearly not thinking straight. Though I'm not thinking gay either.

Which reminds me, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

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