Man Caught Having Sex with a Picnic Table

A man in central Ohio is accused of having sex with his picnic table. The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his ... Full Story
Parden Pard

Bath, PA

#1013 Sep 4, 2013
DILF wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you from San Fransisco by chance?
Yo Dilf,,? The San Francisco dudes are into fruit salads.
The picnic table fkrs gotta be from Florida or down South somewhere.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#1014 Sep 4, 2013
USA_1 wrote:
I guess this guy was having himself a picnic.
I wonder if he secretly video taped himself for his own personal viewing later? lol

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#1015 Sep 4, 2013
DC tells it like it is wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow, some exciting wood you have there.
Am interested. The package deal sounds pretty good. I would highly recommend covering the entire neighborhood, or pitching a very huge tent over all your wood.
Will let you know up front, I like to bite the wood I am handling to test the hardness of it. I do not leave marks, as is tacky to view later.
If I stain it, I will rub it out. Am real good at that.
Was wondering though, is there a way you could obtain some 'norwegian wood' as I love the sound of the words together, and there was once a song about it that really turned me on. Hypnotic at best.
Also, very large pieces of wood are a waste and painful for me to handle. So will go with your mid-size woods. The neighbor's wood does not interest me. Any thing that swells in the rain, tends to mold as time goes on. Can't be having that.
I've the mouth to put where my money is...so let's have at it.
See you on Friday at 7:PM, and will be done with the group of wood you've so kindly taken time to express to me...by Sunday morning.
Some wood, I like to feel again and again, if it feels right. Could never just be 'once a night'. I mean, some wood is like Lays potato chips. Can't just do one.
Thank you and may the wood games begin.
Oh yes, before I forget, tell your friend to drop off his donkey, in the event I tire of all that wood and need something else to ride.
Until then~
Hahaha!

Cash only, I'll have to contact my overseas guys for that good norwegian wood, I don't have any so that might be a problem, but I can assure you my wood is good and hard! lol

I'll contact Voyeur and let him know!

Since: Jan 07

Location Shown

#1016 Sep 4, 2013
There is a Hole in his Story,...

“My Bad! Just hold me. ”

Level 9

Since: Aug 07

Orion's Belt

#1017 Sep 5, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>Hahaha!
Cash only, I'll have to contact my overseas guys for that good norwegian wood, I don't have any so that might be a problem, but I can assure you my wood is good and hard! lol
I'll contact Voyeur and let him know!
Okay, sounds like a deal breaker. Will cancel Friday at 7 and change the date until a later time.

At this point I am lead to ask this question. Do you or have you ever belonged to a 'religious splinter group'? This is an important question as to what I would need to wear in the event the Norwegian Wood shows up.

For now...Tell Voyeur I will still need the use of his donkey so I can ride into the sunset.

Good weather and all..you know.
Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#1018 Sep 5, 2013
This man is not having sex with picnic tables anymore, he's joined the Splinter group who are having it away with lawn chairs and umbrellas
Sybian Princess

Portland, OR

#1019 Sep 5, 2013
Jenji wrote:
Wow, I've been caught having sex ON a picnic table, but never with the picnic table! LOL
LOL and OMG, I thought I was the only one who'd ever been busted doing that! So were you in an area where it was okay nudity I mean, was it like in a city park were they freaked out and started dialing 911 to the cops? That's what mine was like, it was the last time we did that blatantly in a public place, where was so easy to be seen. Behind a bunch of bushes and on obscure trails from then on-grinning!

Since: Aug 08

Buffalo, NY

#1020 Sep 5, 2013
Big Time wrote:
There is a Hole in his Story,...
... knot true ...

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#1021 Sep 6, 2013
Anyone getting a woody just reading all of this?

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#1022 Sep 8, 2013
DC tells it like it is wrote:
Ohioans are call Buckeyes for a reason.
A Buckeye is a worthless nut by definition. So I've been told.
The mods dumped our exotic woods posts?
PDX Dave

Portland, OR

#1023 Sep 8, 2013
Wow, a picnic table a large stuffed animal in your kid's room I could understand, but this is just twisted!

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#1024 Sep 9, 2013
"Mom!!!! Someone spilled mayonaise on this picnic table!!!!"

8-|
Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Location hidden

#1025 Sep 9, 2013
Just noticed under the headline it said metal table. I assumed it was wooden, so for being so presumptuous I've invited Ironman round for his tea. When guests ask is there anything I can help with I usually say, you can lay the table... erm, perhaps not

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#1026 Sep 9, 2013
But wouldn't the metal table be a little tough going on a 100 day or on a icy 32 day? What if he got stuck to it or .....? lol

“My Bad! Just hold me. ”

Level 9

Since: Aug 07

Orion's Belt

#1027 Sep 9, 2013
Ricky F wrote:
<quoted text>The mods dumped our exotic woods posts?
Haven't had much time on Topix. Basically to play the game and go. I will need to jump into my DD account and check it out.

Why...those dirty.....

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#1028 Sep 9, 2013
Beard...Santa's..

“Seashells by the seashore”

Level 3

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#1029 Sep 9, 2013
Stocking wrote:
Just noticed under the headline it said metal table. I assumed it was wooden, so for being so presumptuous I've invited Ironman round for his tea. When guests ask is there anything I can help with I usually say, you can lay the table... erm, perhaps not
that was funny.

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#1030 Sep 22, 2013
This thread has been REPORTED!!!

“Forehead wrinkle”

Since: Dec 10

Homefries

#1031 Sep 23, 2013
Did he masticate at this table before he layed pipe?

Level 4

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#1032 Sep 23, 2013
A whole new meaning to "metal bashing"

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