What Is The Worst Joke You Ever Heard?

What Is The Worst Joke You Ever Heard?

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“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#1 Mar 29, 2014
Q: "What type of wood doesn't float?"

A: "Natalie".

“We're all Bozos on this bus”

Since: Jan 07

Chicago, IL

#2 Mar 29, 2014
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?

A: First, put two scoops of dead baby in a tall glass...

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#3 Mar 29, 2014
How's this one for starters?

Post by dent on Mar 26, 2014 at 10:45pm
Seems that the doctor opened up his office in the Land of Oz.

His first patient was Tin Man. The Tin Man said,Doc! I dont have a heart and I need one.

The doctor of Oz replied,Its off to see the Wizard for you

The next patient was a green frog. The green frog said,Doc. Im green all over, but my pecker is yellow. What can I do?

The doctor of Oz replied,Its off to see the Wizard for you.

The next patient was a gray elephant. The gray elephant said,Doc. Im gray all over, but my pecker is white. What can I do?

The doctor of Oz replied,Its off to see the Wizard for you.

The old elephant then said,But doc, I dont know how to get to the Wizard.

The doc said,Its easy. Just follow the yellow dick toad.

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#4 Mar 29, 2014
Ted Kennedy and Mary Jo Kopeckne are driving down a dark road late at night. Mary Jo says to Ted, "Ed, I think I'm pregnant." Ted thinks a few moments and replies, "Don't worry....we'll cross that bridge when we come to it."

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#6 Mar 29, 2014
Ore wrote:
That WAS bad !
HH, that was funny.
The chicken crossed the road for no other reason than to get to the utter side.
Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

He heard the referee was blowing fowls.

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#7 Mar 29, 2014
What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

But you can turn that joke into one of the best if, when delivering the punchline, have a grin that makes the other person want to throw a brick at you.

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#8 Mar 29, 2014
What do you call a black astronaut/doctor/president?

A N---er.

Sadly, there are people out there who will agree with the punchline and not get the juxtaposition comedy.

And others will be so incensed by the N word, they don't see the context.

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#9 Mar 30, 2014
What does your hairlipped dog say when he wants inside?

"MARK!" "MARK!"
Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#10 Mar 30, 2014
Uh Clem wrote:
Q: How do you make a dead baby float?
A: First, put two scoops of dead baby in a tall glass...
What is easier to unload; a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of watermelons?

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#11 Mar 30, 2014
SimplyLoveYou wrote:
<quoted text>What is easier to unload; a truck full of dead babies or a truck full of watermelons?
Hey! Hey! Be careful using the "Watermelon" word. It is stereotypical and could be considered offensive.
Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#12 Mar 30, 2014
Mexican Hillbilly wrote:
<quoted text>
Hey! Hey! Be careful using the "Watermelon" word. It is stereotypical and could be considered offensive.
Ha! Look who's barking. "marf-marf!"
;)

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#13 Mar 30, 2014
A medieval padre needed a bell ringer for the village church. One day a young vagabond arrives and wants the bell ringing job. The padre takes the youth up to the top of the bell tower to see what this kid can do. The vagabond lunges towards the bell and hits it face first. The bell makes the most beautiful sound it ever did. Every day, every hour the new bell ringer slams his head into the bell. The padre and villagers are very happy. One day the bell ringer lunges at the bell and misses. He flies through the steeple window plunging to his death. The padre and villagers gather around the body. Someone asks who this kid was. The padre says,...."I don't know but his face sure rings a bell!"

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#14 Mar 30, 2014
I'm not done yet!

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#15 Mar 30, 2014
The padre and the village are still in need of a bell ringer. One day another vagabond shows up wanting the job. He looks like he could be a twin of the previous bell ringer. He is actually the previous bell ringer's brother. He even uses the same technique slamming his face into the bell! The padre and villagers are once again happy with the beautiful sound this bell makes. One day the new bell ringer lunges towards the bell and misses. He flies out the steeple window plunging to his death. The padre and villagers gather around the crumpled body. Someone asks who the bell ringer was. The padre replies, " I don't know, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#16 Mar 30, 2014
Okay! Your turn.
Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#17 Mar 30, 2014
Did you hear about the fella caught whizzing in the cookware at a famous restaurant? They fired him.
Then his wife sued to divorce him. The magistrate found in her favor. She won everything.
Yep, you know the rest of the story... she threw him out of the house without a pot to piss in.
Jokes On Us

Findlay, OH

#18 Mar 30, 2014
OBAMA!!!!!

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#19 Mar 30, 2014
It's better to be Dayton a woman from Eaton than............

“"Eatin' Ain't Cheatin!"”

Level 1

Since: Sep 06

Thompson's Station, Tn

#20 Apr 1, 2014
A father walks by his son's bedroom door and he hears the son masturbating. The Dad quickly opens the door and bursts inside.

He says, "Son if you don't knock that crap off you will go blind!!!!"

The son answers "I'm over here, Dad!!!"

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#21 Apr 1, 2014
Jokes On Us wrote:
OBAMA!!!!!
http://www.topix.com/forum/news/weird/TMNI553...

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