hoosier hillbilly

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

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#785 Mar 3, 2013
hey H.H. dont pick on kentucky folks they are hillbillys too..:O)hey you might be a redneck if you have a rag for a gas cap..How are you H.H. nice to see you..

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#786 Mar 4, 2013
In the men's bathroom, an accountant, a lawyer and a redneck were standing side-by-side using the urinal.

The accountant finished, zipped up and started washing and literally scrubbing his hands...clear up to his elbows....he used 20 paper towels before he finished. He turned to the other two men and commented, "I graduated from the University of Michigan and they taught us to be clean."

The lawyer finished, zipped up and quickly wet the tips of his fingers, grabbed one paper towel and commented, "I graduated from the University of California and they taught us to be environmentally conscious."

The redneck zipped up and as he was walking out the door said, "I graduated from The school of Hard Knocks" and they taught 'me' not to piss on 'my' hands.

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#787 Mar 4, 2013
Redneck on the road

This guy is walking along a dirt road when he stumbles upon an redneck lying on the ground with his ear in the dirt.

"Are you alright? What are you doing?" the man asks but gets no answer at all.

The redneck doesn't even acknowledge that he is there.

So after a while of silence the man asks again, "Can I help you sir?"

The redneck replies this time. "Ford pick-up truck, blue, 18 inch rims, two passengers, female driver."

"Wow! You can tell all that by listening to the ground!" the man says.

"NO" The redneck replies with a shocked look on his face "The crazy b*t*h just ran over 'me'.

“I know where you are,”

Level 8

Since: Jun 08

Right here under my thumb

#788 Mar 4, 2013
LOL!!!

A thread for, by and to Boozer...LMFGDAO!!!

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

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#789 Mar 4, 2013
those were cute H.H.

you might be a redneck if you believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law..LOL..

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#790 Mar 6, 2013
That's what 'i' think when 'i' look @
Dolly Parton.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons...
before last 2 facelifts
boobs vulcanized

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#791 Mar 6, 2013

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#792 Mar 6, 2013
Empty Jar Guarantee®
What is the Empty Jar Guarantee?
If you are not completely delighted with your purchase of Australian Dream®, you can return the empty jar for a full refund. It's that simple.*
How do I return the product if I am not satisfied?
If you purchased Australian Dream® at a retail store such as Wal-mart, Walgreens or CVS, just return the empty jar and your sales receipt to the store for a full refund within 30 days.
What if it is past 30 days and the store won't give me my money back?
Then we will. Call us toll free at (888) 600-4642, Monday–Friday, 9am-5pm EDT and we will promptly handle your refund. This is our no-hassle, customer-friendly way of doing business

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#793 Mar 6, 2013
March 6 : 1:29 PM
Dow +34.67
14,288.44

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

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#794 Mar 6, 2013
you might be a redneck if you and your dog use the same tree..

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#795 Mar 6, 2013
They're both females so 'we' have =ground-spots=.

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#796 Mar 6, 2013
...out'a here 4 2 night!

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

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#797 Mar 6, 2013
You might be a redneck if your house still has the "wide load"sign on the back...Ok H.H. later..

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#798 Mar 7, 2013
You might be a redneck if your house still has the "out-house" in the back

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

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#799 Mar 7, 2013
you might be a redneck if the halloween pumpkin on a front porch has more teeth than your spouse..

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#800 Mar 8, 2013
Boudreaux, the smoothest-talking Cajun in the Louisiana National Guard, got called up to active duty. Boudreaux's first assignment was in a military induction center. Because he was a good talker, they assigned him the duty of advising new recruits about government benefits, especially the GI insurance to which they were entitled.

The officer in charge soon noticed that Boudreaux was getting a 99% sign-up rate for the more expensive supplemental form of GI insurance. This was remarkable, because it cost these low-income recruits $30.00 per month for the higher coverage, compared to what the government was already providing at no charge.

The officer decided he'd sit in the back of the room at the next briefing and observe Boudreaux's sales pitch. Boudreaux stood up before the latest group of inductees and said, "If you has DA normal GI insurans an' you goes to Afghanistan an' gets youself killed, DA govment' pays you benefishery $20,000.

"If you takes out DA suppmental insurans, which cost you only t'irty dollars a munt, den DA governmen' gots at pay you benefishery $400,000! Now," Boudreaux concluded, "Which bunch you tink dey gonna send at Afghanistan first?

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#801 Mar 8, 2013
After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective

teacher said:'Let me see if I've got this right.


'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their
disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their
dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a
love for learning.


'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs
and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self
esteem and personal pride.


'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship,
sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a
checkbook, and apply for a job.


'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of
antisocial behavior, and make sure that they all pass the final exams.


'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless
of their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in
English, Spanish or any other language, by letter, telephone,
newsletter, and report card.


'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a
bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that
qualifies me for food stamps.


'You want me to do all this, and then you tell me......
I CAN'T PRAY?

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#802 Mar 8, 2013
Felix Baumgartner draws from his extensive BASE jumping and skydiving history to prepare himself for the Final Mission. He relives the challenges he has already successfully accomplished and reveals the philosophy that drives him to push himself further and higher.



http://www2.felixbaumgartner.com/index.php...

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Hoosierville

#803 Mar 8, 2013

“If you want a Friend ???”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Be a Friend...

#804 Mar 8, 2013
dont let anybody tell you that you cant pray...Not me I will stop where I am and bow my head or raise my hands to the Lord..Noone will tell me I cant pray to my Lord and master noone...Have a great day and Thank you Jesus for all you do for us and for waken us up this morning Amen..:O)

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