Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#726 Feb 21, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
That one worked...:)

Good day to you, Hoosier!

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#727 Feb 21, 2013
Time to get 'fixx'n'! Night-al'ya'yokels!

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#729 Feb 22, 2013
It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip fromTae Kwon Do :
The elbow is the strongest point
on your body.
If you are close enough to use it, do!
2.. Learned this from a tourist guide.
If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM.
Toss it away from you....
Chances are that he is more interested
in your wallet and/or purse than you,
and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car,
kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole
and start waving like crazy..
The driver won't see you, but everybody else will.
This has saved lives..
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars
after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit
(doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON'T DO THIS!)
The predator will be watching you, and this
is the perfect opportunity for him to get in
on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go.
AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..
If someone is in the car
with a gun to your head
DO NOT DRIVE OFF,
Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF!
Instead gun the engine and
speed into anything, wrecking the car.
Your Air Bag will save you.
If the person is in the back seat
they will get the worst of it.
As soon as the car crashes
bail out and run.
It is better than having them find your body
in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting
into your car in a parking lot,
or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:
look around you,
look into your car,
at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B..) If you are parked next to a big van,
enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims
by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car
parked on the driver's side of your vehicle,
and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone
in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back
into the mall, or work, and get a
guard/policeman to walk you back out.
IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY.(And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator
instead of the stairs.
Stairwells are horrible places to be alone
and the perfect crime spot.
This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7.If the predator has a gun
and you are not under his control,
ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target)
4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ.
RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying
to be sympathetic:
STOP
It may get you raped, or killed.
Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking,
well educated man, who ALWAYS played
on the sympathies of unsuspecting women.
He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often
asked 'for help' into his vehicle or with his vehicle,
which is when he abducted
his next victim.

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#730 Feb 22, 2013
9. Another Safety Point:
Someone just told me that her friend heard
a crying baby on her porch the night before last,
and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her
'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..'
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried
that it would crawl to the street and get run over.
The policeman said,'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.'
He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax
women out of their homes thinking that someone
dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it,
but have had several calls by women saying that
they hear baby's cries outside their doors
when they're home alone at night.
10. Water scam!
If you wake up in the middle
of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a
burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your
outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and
then attack.
Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors!
Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because
the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on
America 's Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#731 Feb 22, 2013
Thinking of something that just could be
a moderator on Offbeat that you often see
but when you do it can be a he or a she
talk'n about 'socks', poster's got more than 3.
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#732 Feb 22, 2013
Two Hillbillies, Bubba and Cooter, decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

Bubba goes in first, and the professor advises him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's logic?" asked Bubba.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do," answered the hillbilly.

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good," the hillbilly responded in awe.

The professor continued, "Logic also tells me that since you have a yard, you also have a house."

Impressed, the hillbilly shouted, "GAWL-LEEE!!"

"And since you own a house, and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"Betty Mae! This is incredible!" (Bubba is obviously catching on.)

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual rather than homosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thang I ever heard of. I can't wait to take this here logic class."

Bubba, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where Cooter is still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin?" he asks.

"Math, history, and logic," replies Bubba.

"What in tarnation is logic?"

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?"

Cooter replies "no."

"You're a homosexual, ain't ya?"

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#733 Feb 22, 2013
Is it OK to be confuessed...?

Steven D - Level 5 - Since: Sep 08 - 541
*|
*|
*|
That'd confuse anyone, wouldn't it?

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#734 Feb 22, 2013
PS: ma'b 'i' shud'na...soosaray!
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#735 Feb 22, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
Is it OK to be confuessed...?
Steven D - Level 5 - Since: Sep 08 - 541
*|
*|
*|
That'd confuse anyone, wouldn't it?
He's been in moth balls for awhile..Hoosier. When I came back earlier I came back as 1Nobody and then Mister_E after that. This one didn't get much use. Just decided to put it out there with my own pic, real name, etc.
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#736 Feb 22, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
PS: ma'b 'i' shud'na...soosaray!
I can make out all but that last word??
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#737 Feb 22, 2013

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#739 Feb 22, 2013
The squirrel wood'a got that! Tee Hee!
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#740 Feb 22, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
The squirrel wood'a got that! Tee Hee!
Okay...<lightbulb comes on>

I got it now..nothing to be soosary about..Hoosier...lol

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#741 Feb 22, 2013
Hoosier..tell your Grandpappy..
That was the best batch of moonshine ever for flower,Child's BIRTH DAY BASH...thanks!!

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#742 Feb 23, 2013
CC anytime!

What do these seven words all have in common!

1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess

Answer this afternoon:
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#743 Feb 24, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
CC anytime!
What do these seven words all have in common!
1. Banana
2. Dresser
3. Grammar
4. Potato
5. Revive
6. Uneven
7. Assess
Answer this afternoon:
Come on Hoosier...you promised an answer?!

Yeah I know a squirrel would've guess it?!?

But you see, It's me...a nut!! not a squirrel!

:)

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#744 Feb 24, 2013
I am sorry, would you believe I forgot?
//'i' know - that'd be easy to do
(???)'i' do have a good excuse*well maybe*
"we" went out for supper-but that's another story

Answer:
Take the 1st letter of each word - make it the last -
and spell the word backwards
+'i'm sure you noticed each of them have 2 doubles

PS: Thanks for @ least commenting on the post=
as for the rest of ya ....

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#745 Feb 24, 2013
The Gambler

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."

The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.

"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.

The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.

"Like what?" asked the bartender.

"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.

The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.

So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.

"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.

The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.

"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk, he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."

The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.

The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop made it into the whiskey bottle.

The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"

The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet each of the guys in the card room fivehundred bucks that I could piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

“*=* Always Thinking *=*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#746 Feb 24, 2013
It's "stuck" in my head and 'i' can't get it out!

&fe ature=youtu.be
Level 7

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#747 Feb 24, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
I am sorry, would you believe I forgot?
//'i' know - that'd be easy to do
(???)'i' do have a good excuse*well maybe*
"we" went out for supper-but that's another story
Answer:
Take the 1st letter of each word - make it the last -
and spell the word backwards
+'i'm sure you noticed each of them have 2 doubles
PS: Thanks for @ least commenting on the post=
as for the rest of ya ....
Lol hoosier..you da man!

Try this one...



:)

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