Pearls of wisdom
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“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#1 Dec 8, 2008
This is the place to share limericks, one-liners, and parodies on nearly any topic.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#2 Dec 8, 2008
On purpleness:

I wonder if the core of the planet at some point in time was ever purple.

"I'm a purple girl living in a purple world."

I'm just a purple girl in the world, that's all that you let me be!

I'm a purple girl, in a purple world

My name is [Michelle] and I am purple...I'm glad I am.

I see a red door and I want it painted pink. No purple anymore I want it to turn pink.

I am such a purple girl. Everything about me is purple. I eat purple, wear purple, breathe purple. I even defecate purple.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#3 Dec 8, 2008
On LGBT matters:

Why are there only practicing homosexuals? Don't any get it right?

Famous last words: "I'm gay."

My name is Michelle but call me Mike, I used to do men, but now I'm a dyke.

My computer would practice homosexuality, but it can't find the right plugin for that.

Homosexuals are just gay!

Yesterday I called your best friend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

What is sodomy?- asked Frank while completely in Ernest.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#4 Dec 8, 2008
On medical matters:

Stop making me laugh so hard. My nipple just fell off!

You made me laugh so hard that some of my montgomery tubercles fell off!

What is a bigger pain in the ass? Giving yourself an estrogen injection or finding some pharmacist who will sell you the damn needles?

"I wanna know, have you ever seen your brain?"

Freckles killed you because they were not freckles. They were cancer.

Wash your hands before posting so you won't spread viruses

Adversity is like a stomach virus. It's pushes things out of you you didn't know you had.

99% of all constipated people are full of shit.

If I could be anything or anyone, other than myself, than I would be the world's first operatic tenor with Tourette's Syndrome. ".......figaro, figaro......sh@t-p@ss.mo&! @er-f*&2ker...la-la-la-la!

Help!!! I laughed so hard that I swallowed my mouse!!!

My mouse got drunk at the space bar located on Disk Drive.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#5 Dec 8, 2008
On crime and incarceration:

My son is an honor student at the State Correctional Facility.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Frame a man for murder and the state will feed him every day for 25-to-life.

When I was 16 my parents told me I was adopted. Actually they told the press, but I think it might have been just a panicky reaction to the whole four-state killing spree thing.

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror...with a cop in it.

“Fairyland”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

#6 Dec 8, 2008
-- A flea and a fly in a flue,
Were imprisoned-
so what could they do?

Said the fly -'Let us flee'-
Said the flea,'Let us fly'-

So they flew
through a flaw in the flue!--(LOL)

Good Morning PG,
Fine thread.
.

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#7 Dec 8, 2008
I like mice, but rats are a vice.

If the plural of mouse is mice, why isn't the plural of house, hice?

Iff yu seeee anyy mispellelled worms plaese ingor thim.

Thanks to modern technology, you no longer have to wash your hands after using a public restroom. Those air-blower thingies dry the pee right up.

Has anyone got a quarter so I can use the pubic phone?

Why do they cook BACon and bake COOKies?

Masturbation, like solitaire, is better without partners

I am the one who keeps putting in stupid stuff. Deal with it!

Those who see psychiatrists need to have their heads examined.

I didn't know that sleeping with members of your family is what causes insects.

when life hands you lemons, make grape juice; then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

Here's the story of a skank, who raised hell at the bank. The teller called her a man, then shit hit the fan, and things became quite rank.

Change bloody religions if you think the church is gory.

Flying Spaghetti Monster Bible: The Flying Spaghetti Monster was killed by its own followers. That is why Communion consists of spaghetti sauce and garlic bread.

“Ridin' The Devils Little Horse”

Since: Mar 08

Straight To Hells Door

#8 Dec 8, 2008
Don't start none...
Won't be none...

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#9 Dec 8, 2008
Grace Nerissa wrote:
-- A flea and a fly in a flue,
Were imprisoned-
so what could they do?
Said the fly -'Let us flee'-
Said the flea,'Let us fly'-
So they flew
through a flaw in the flue!--(LOL)
Good Morning PG,
Fine thread.
.
Hi Grace! Thank you, and I like your cute poem.

I am fixing to go to bed here. Was going through the hard drive and came up with a file of quotes, nonsense, one-liners, etc. A lot of stuff was either original or picked up off of Psyops.net .

Psyops.net is an interesting site. It is like the bathroom wall. Basically, all there is to do is enter sayings of your own or keep hitting F5 and reading what pops up. It is a neat time waster, though a lot of it is likely to offend someone (racist, obscene, homophobic, sexist, etc). It can be addictive.

“Fairyland”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

#10 Dec 8, 2008
He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

“Fairyland”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

#11 Dec 8, 2008
Purple Gurl wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi Grace! Thank you, and I like your cute poem.
I am fixing to go to bed here. Was going through the hard drive and came up with a file of quotes, nonsense, one-liners, etc. A lot of stuff was either original or picked up off of Psyops.net .
Psyops.net is an interesting site. It is like the bathroom wall. Basically, all there is to do is enter sayings of your own or keep hitting F5 and reading what pops up. It is a neat time waster, though a lot of it is likely to offend someone (racist, obscene, homophobic, sexist, etc). It can be addictive.
Thanks PG, the 'limerick' I posted above IS funny,

it is from a group of old Irish Limericks!

This is a great thread..

Good luck with it!

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#12 Dec 8, 2008
Grace Nerissa wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks PG, the 'limerick' I posted above IS funny,
it is from a group of old Irish Limericks!
This is a great thread..
Good luck with it!
Yes, it is a funny limerick. You can tell I am getting sleepy. Well, we will see what we have later.
Pretty Feet

North Wales, PA

#13 Dec 8, 2008
this is weird..
:O)
MrMaria

Coxsackie, NY

#14 Dec 8, 2008
No matter how you dance and prance, the last three drops go in your pants...

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#15 Dec 8, 2008
Pretty Feet wrote:
this is weird..
:O)
And so am I. <g>
Pretty Feet

North Wales, PA

#16 Dec 8, 2008
Purple Gurl wrote:
<quoted text>
And so am I. <g>
Haaa
:O)

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#17 Dec 8, 2008
Since purple is pretty and puke is pink,
which of those would you like to drink?

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#18 Dec 8, 2008
"I don't know why all the kids make fun of my 3 boys, Michelle, Jennifer, and Stephanie."

Since: Nov 07

Amarillo, TX

#19 Dec 8, 2008
Purple Gurl wrote:
Yesterday I called your best friend gay, and he hit me with his purse.
that one made a lil bit of snot go flyin out of my nose.(gotta cold)

toooo funny!

“Purple girl in a purple world”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Plum, Purplonia

#20 Dec 8, 2008
Just what we need... Glow in the dark tumors.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081207/sc_nm/us_...

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