* What makes me NERVOUS is...*

“I'll just kick me down a wall,”

Level 6

Since: Dec 11

And walk outa here!

#132 Dec 1, 2012
Suezanne wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate when those Jehovas come knocking at my door.
here's what ya do. Lay down on in front of your door in a position as if you had just been shot or beaten, then have a friend draw an outline of your body with chalk, then take some of those pamphlets the Jehovah's always bring with them and throw 3 or 4 of them around the chalk outline of your body, a little red paint splattered around will also help. If this doesn't discourage them, sometimes you have to add a chalk outline of your kid. That usually never fails.

“Geez..”

Level 3

Since: Oct 12

Greensburg, IN

#133 Dec 1, 2012
meeting her parent...

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#134 Dec 1, 2012
quilterqueen wrote:
A deer jumping out into the road when I'm driving.
my ex that was the safest spot for the dear

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#135 Dec 1, 2012
Walking along....TRYING not to step on the sidewalk cracks...breaking my mama's baccccccck!!!

Level 6

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#136 Dec 1, 2012
Geno wrote:
<quoted text>
I do Kegels!
Wonderful. I could never differentiate different Pelic muscles.

Spokaloonian

“I will gladly pay you Tuesday”

Level 7

Since: Jul 12

for a hamburger today.

#137 Dec 1, 2012
Colorado Chick wrote:
Walking along....TRYING not to step on the sidewalk cracks...breaking my mama's baccccccck!!!
I remember that game, used to STOMP on all the cracks when I didn't get my way!

:^P

Level 6

Since: Jan 12

Location hidden

#138 Dec 1, 2012
long drives when I'm not feeling so good..

“Live Each Day and Have Fun !”

Level 4

Since: Nov 12

Where I am at .

#139 Dec 1, 2012
Goverment and those in it !

Level 9

Since: Mar 10

Memphis

#140 Dec 1, 2012
Little tupperwear containers in the back of the refrigerator make me NERVOUS.

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#141 Dec 1, 2012

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#142 Dec 1, 2012
Suezanne wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate when those Jehovas come knocking at my door.
About 15 years ago, they knocked on mine. I had patiently explained several times before that I wasn't interested.

On this particular day, I was listening to Slayer on LOUD. I opened the door with a can of beer in my hand, no shirt or shoes.

I held my arms up and shouted in a gravelly, satanic-sounding voice - "Let he who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast, for it is a human number! It's number is six hundred and sixty-six!"

Their knees were going higher than their heads as they made their way to the gate.

I haven't been bothered since.

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#144 Dec 1, 2012
To the point wrote:
<quoted text>And you're single with no gf and only masturbate lmao. I believe it.
Sounds like you're asking for a date, man. Sorry, I don't swing that way.

And I'd ask why you keep bringing up Deb in such a negative way for no apparent reason. But I'm guessing that since your fairly psychotic and anti-social, the real answer won't be forthcoming.
Enzo- the guard

Hoffman Estates, IL

#145 Dec 1, 2012
To the point wrote:
<quoted text>And you're single with no gf and only masturbate lmao. I believe it. Maybe one of these days ole Deb will get the nerve up to visit lmao. Neigggghhh.
Nah. A violence-prone inmate like him- she can just visit him in his cell...with the SWAT team!

"Ju fodda! Ju fodda!"

Since: Aug 08

Buffalo, NY

#146 Dec 1, 2012
... is the name of this thread "morons post in gray boxes" ...???

“I'll just kick me down a wall,”

Level 6

Since: Dec 11

And walk outa here!

#147 Dec 1, 2012
Dr_Dirty wrote:
<quoted text>
Sounds like you're asking for a date, man. Sorry, I don't swing that way.
And I'd ask why you keep bringing up Deb in such a negative way for no apparent reason. But I'm guessing that since your fairly psychotic and anti-social, the real answer won't be forthcoming.
wus up Dr Dirty! I see you have a couple of fans who are trying to have a battle of wits but are showing up unarmed! I sort of promised a certain friend of mine I wouldn't get sucked into the cesspool that certain posters like to create on offbeat, and I'm sure you don't need my assistance by any means, but I would like to say what makes me nervous is the fact that idiots are allowed to reproduce!

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#148 Dec 1, 2012
Enzo- the guard wrote:
<quoted text>Nah. A violence-prone inmate like him- she can just visit him in his cell...with the SWAT team!
"Ju fodda! Ju fodda!"
Hay Ferrerman!...er, Enzo! LMAO! Sorry, but couldn't resist breaking yourballs during your absence last night. You see, we all know that Friday nights are when Mother is spanking your bottom...
Cheers!

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#149 Dec 1, 2012
liam cul8r wrote:
<quoted text>wus up Dr Dirty! I see you have a couple of fans who are trying to have a battle of wits but are showing up unarmed! I sort of promised a certain friend of mine I wouldn't get sucked into the cesspool that certain posters like to create on offbeat, and I'm sure you don't need my assistance by any means, but I would like to say what makes me nervous is the fact that idiots are allowed to reproduce!
I'm guessing they're the two Jehovah Witness characters who were at my door that day when Slayer greeted them. ANd now, as penance, they have been forced to troll their boat on the sea of Offbeat for the remainder of their days like some diet coke version of the Flying Dutchman.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#150 Dec 1, 2012
Enzo- the guard wrote:
<quoted text>Nah. A violence-prone inmate like him- she can just visit him in his cell...with the SWAT team!
"Ju fodda! Ju fodda!"
Oh...
ya mutta! ya mutta!...

Since: Aug 08

Buffalo, NY

#151 Dec 1, 2012
... someone needs the number to "dial a friend"

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#152 Dec 1, 2012
GMGMIKE wrote:
... someone needs the number to "dial a friend"
They'd get hung up on.

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