Charges: Man Assaulted Iowa Officer With M&Ms

A 20-year-old college student is charged with assaulting a Des Moines police officer -- with candy. via WCCO

[Purple Gurl]

I take it that this was a chocolate person. I wonder if he has a girlfriend named Candy?

[Bajan Boy]

Apparently it was worse - the cop was lactose intolerant and diabetic! Whats next, assault with a deadly tic-tac?

Come on folks, really?

[dealwithitameric a]

SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.

[Bob J 1440]

I think the cop should have shot at him 75 times…

If Bell can get shot at 50 times with nothing then M&M must be worth 25 shots more…

The cops in this country really need to grow a pair…

[TOM REGAN]

...I can't beleive he was not SHOT...what's the matter with DES MOINES police department...their bullet was in their shirt pocket in therir locker? that's soooooo BARNEY....

[ambiguous mind]

Yeah, we always used to do that in movie theaters. You know, you can really get somebody pretty good if you sit in the back row and just whip M&M's like fastballs at someone's head. It stings like a mother, and the candy shell disintegrates on impact, leaving a blob of chocolate in their hair. If the person you are pelting has a reputation of being "filthy" or just less-than-hygienic, chocolate resembles a certain unnamed bodily excretion (yeah, you got the image without my saying it). The fact that it ends up in the person's hair makes them think he (or she) has similar sexual tastes to the late James Brown, or else works in the sewer. Either way, it's all good, not-so-clean fun until someone loses an eye.
Just don't use peanut M&M's. Those peanuts can be deadly.

[Taxed Out]

I'm guessing that would be classified as assault with a deadly weapon?

[Chrs Robinson]

ambiguous mind wrote:

Yeah, we always used to do that in movie theaters. You know, you can really get somebody pretty good if you sit in the back row and just whip M&M's like fastballs at someone's head. It stings like a mother, and the candy shell disintegrates on impact, leaving a blob of chocolate in their hair. If the person you are pelting has a reputation of being "filthy" or just less-than-hygienic, chocolate resembles a certain unnamed bodily excretion (yeah, you got the image without my saying it). The fact that it ends up in the person's hair makes them think he (or she) has similar sexual tastes to the late James Brown, or else works in the sewer. Either way, it's all good, not-so-clean fun until someone loses an eye.
Just don't use peanut M&M's. Those peanuts can bedeadly.

Did he excpect a doughnut was going to be thrown at him by the cop, I'll bet he ducked below the asle too. Way to stick up for your friend, next time you might wanting to just do nothing! in the words of Bugs Bunny,"What a maroon!"

[Purple Gurl]

Taxed Out wrote:

I'm guessing that would be classified as assault with a deadly weapon?

Only if shoved down the officer's throat. Of course, ask at Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and Krispy Kreme how many officers regularly assault themselves with deadly weapons.

[Taxed Out]

Purple Gurl wrote:

<quoted text>
Only if shoved down the officer's throat. Of course, ask at Starbucks, Dunkin' Donuts, and Krispy Kreme how many officers regularly assault themselves with deadly weapons.

I guess as long as they aren't chunking doughnuts at each other nor pouring coffee on others we shall never hear about it though.*Sigh*

[blong]

The perp was quickly brought down in a hail of Skittles.

[minor threat]

yeah lets stereotype ALL cops right? Would you let someone throw candy at you as a uniformed officer? Next time don't call the cops if you think theyre all so weak. They do a job you can't, won't or wouldn't be allowed to.

Bob J 1440 wrote:

I think the cop should have shot at him 75 times…
If Bell can get shot at 50 times with nothing then M&M must be worth 25 shots more…
The cops in this country really need to grow a pair…

[ANON]

The real question is...what color?=O

[repeat offender]

Cops are such pu**ies toughen up. They want good pay excellent benefits and they want to be a cop with no danger this isn't mayberry you wussy.

[repeat offender]

I wonder if his name was officer chicken little the SKY IS FALLING NEVER MIND I'M JUST BEING ACOSTED BY M&M's 10-4

[Tailkinker]

See, if it was a female cop then the story would be different. I wouldn't mind being assaulted with chocolate. MMmmmmmm... Death by chocolate.

[dealwithitameric a]

Taxed Out wrote:

I'm guessing that would be classified as assault with a deadly weapon?

Yep because it can kill, or even make you fat.

[kkull]

I'm confused... why is this news?

[Semper Fi]

"McGuire claimed he threw the candy because he was 'sticking up for his friend,' who apparently was the man suspected in the accident."

God I hope he uses that "I'm allowed to throw things at the investigating officer because the suspect was my friend" argument in court!

[DaniGirl123]

EvilJedi wrote:

Officer down!!!
...I need backup, and some chocolate milk!!!

lol....

The officer should have opend his mouth and started cathing them....

Woo hoo 10 points.