Solicitors at my door...

Posted in the Weird Forum

West Coast Dave

Portland, OR

#1 Apr 28, 2013
When I heard feet on my porch I was pist that they (3 of them) ignored my No Soliciting signs, so I quick shucked off my shirt and cutoffs and opened the door nude 'n' showin' and those two guys and their girl accomplice were speechless! Turned out to be JW canvassers, I let them get their eyes full then said that I'd stand there and talk as long as they wanted, then I reached down and scratched my junk. Think it all was the first she ever saw! They left. How do you handle trespassers?

“We're all Bozos on this bus”

Since: Jan 07

Indianapolis, IN

#2 Apr 28, 2013
Hell, you might have converted THEM!!

How do I handle them? I look out a window and if I don't want to answer the door, I don't.

“No. 1 Stunna”

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#3 Apr 28, 2013
That's awesome West Cove Dave ... make them leave to go get their magnifying glasses and then when they come back you are gone! Brilliant!

:p

“ROCK ON ROCKERS!!”

Level 8

Since: Mar 11

Rockin' USA ;)

#5 Apr 28, 2013
Peek out the window.. see if they are pals or NOT!!..Your HOME, your DECISION to OPEN that DOOR or NOT!!...ALL ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY!!

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

New York, NY

#6 Apr 28, 2013
I let my wife deal with them as she can be most unnerving at times...her folks were scammed out of thousands by soliciters years ago...
Level 5

Since: Nov 12

Location hidden

#7 Apr 28, 2013
I hate when the J W people and the Mormons come knocking. I open the door and call my big dog to come visit. Once they see her they all make it known they have other places to be.

If they knock when I'm in the back of the house I let the dogs bark, its usually enough to make them leave.

I do make a point of asking why they think I'm not able to know my own mind or look for the things I might need, rather than having people waste my time.
SLACK

Ludington, MI

#8 Apr 28, 2013
I introduce them to Amway

“..vote early..vote often..but”

Since: Jun 08

....re-elect no one.......

#9 Apr 28, 2013
...i wish the baptists would stay off my porch.....if i wanted to go to their church, i would....why is that so hard to understand?.....and i don't want the paper, either.....or replace my driveway....pledge for a car wash.....or sell my house.....i have a ceramic dawg holdin' a sign in his mouth that reads "go away", and an "unwelcome" mat at the door.....and they keep comin'...i don't answer the door (the bosslady might), but i worry these miscreants will key my truck as they walk back down the driveway....

Level 7

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#10 Apr 28, 2013
JW or Morons don't matter! I tell then I'm Jewish and very happy with my religion...... If it's something else I tell them I'm very busy! If that don't work and I know their prices I give the I pay this and know they can't beat it! I did that the other day! Sales people for all kinds of things are out here all of the time.........

A pain in my butt!!

“From Dusk To Dawn,...”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

Cruising U.S.A.

#11 Apr 28, 2013
I only answer the door if there are breasts involved,...

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

New York, NY

#12 Apr 28, 2013
cjt12 wrote:
I only answer the door if there are breasts involved,...
...had a feelin you lived on mommys dairy farm...

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#13 Apr 29, 2013
JW, Baptists, Church of Christ.......I just tell them the truth. I'm CATHOLIC! Go figure, pretty much scares everyone away, including stray cats?

“near Halloween.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

#14 Apr 30, 2013
Easy
I found the answer to that one early on.

When someone calls with a big speil!

I just stand there and say>

'Excuse me, I only work here,
But, I 'll tell 'em you called'

“Hey Moe ! ! !”

Level 8

Since: May 12

Alapaha , Georgia

#15 Apr 30, 2013
I'm lucky,I live in the country and don't have that problem.
Easy Fix

United States

#16 Apr 30, 2013
Put up this sign:

This Dwelling Has Been QUARANTINED by the (insert county/parish name) Department of Health

(effective date)

ABSOLUTELY NO ENTRY ALLOWED

USC Title III section 7
Me Too

United States

#17 Apr 30, 2013
Syloc wrote:
I'm lucky,I live in the country and don't have that problem.
Yeah, but I get the occasional politician who is running for office. I really need to get a Pitt Bull....

Level 7

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#18 Apr 30, 2013
Syloc wrote:
I'm lucky,I live in the country and don't have that problem.
Country? That stops them out where your at???

Not here! They love us out here in the country where I live!

Any of them sales, religion, what ever you can think of!

Books, vacuums, dish, religious, political, meats, but never any trick or treating! They like to go into town for that!

I hate it at Walmart when kids stand by the door and ask for money for their baseball team or what ever! The parents need to teach their kids the importance of working for things and not having it handed to them. I would give them money only if they were selling something plus a little more!

“I know where you are,”

Level 8

Since: Jun 08

Right here under my thumb

#19 Apr 30, 2013
My dog Satan loves trespassers - he thinks they're delicious.

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