Level 29 - a true story by Jeff Schrembs Part 1
Posted in the Weird Forum
“Jeff Schrembs ”
Since: Jun 09
South (God bless)
#1 Jul 24, 2013
June 30th 2013 will be a day that will live in infamy. Unless I forget it.
Lets set the scene. Close you eyes and you are almost there. Oh, close your eyes after you read these sentences and then you are almost there.
Living room. Leather Lazy Boy. Dog on the floor curled up like a funyuns (70s flashback) by the ac vent. The classic series Dora the Explorer episode is playing on the tv while two little adorable, with a sprinkle of “never know what they are going to do next” thrown in, children (in this case my granddaughters being 2 females one is in second grade and the other is in preschool), while they consume my world famous dish, and yes we have kept this receipe secret all these years, of 7 herbs and spices chicken with shells and cheese and coleslaw and biscuits and gravy. If you are thinking of the letters “K” then “F” then “C” even though you would be right shake your head left to right until you make believe I cooked this tasty dinner all by my lonesome.
After they ate dinner it was off to ride bicycles (yes Grandparents police we waited over 30 minutes after eating) until the humidity overtook us and everyone was as dry as those biscuits. The solution? AC + House + white paper+ crayons = enough time for me to clean the dishes (for those wondering I can multi-task as I was listening to music while doing these chores. Jealous?).
Before the 2nd page was finished, the first one was “we want ice cream”(by the second grader), with the second one being “now”. What?“Now”. Demanding preschooler I thought. I thought about confronting this beautiful child but I backed down when she held up her written demand and pointed, with her index finger, to the NOW written in black maker. It was an OK Coral moment and I wasn’t Wyatt Earp…she was and her eyes never flinched. To stand my ground I did what any self respecting man would do. I cheerfully, yet loudly, raised my voice from a tone similar to Minnie mouse to a baritone (think Barry White) and said “in cones or cups”?
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