It's the Dirty Limerick Hour!!
Urszula Stelmach

Auckland, New Zealand

#85 Nov 12, 2012
It grows outside,
But in crotches decline.

"First you pay,
later screw the whole day."

In this occupation,
we do not need translation.

In Mrs. Lola big hole
even a monster might have crawled

Guarantee in the brothel my mate,
super service and non stop open gate.

Today to the mouth or hands,
closed for the time of menstruation gentleman.

His prick was in her mouth when she got lock jaw,
He felt it, collapsed and it was the last straw.

There are rumours, he has got him like a tank,
But unfortunately without a gun.

At night she was called Lioness Fun,
during the day an obedience nun.

Peace and quiet at brothel door,
brave soldiers are at war.

For the entrance to my hole,
you must pay in advance the whole.

She is like automatic slot machine
Every man know what it means

Masturbation a cheap thing,
Does not cost like diamond ring.

In the brothel bang bang
And satisfied was whole gang.

I love masturbation
For me this is sensation

John everyday fucked
Because it brings apparently luck

Ground under the army feet is on fire
Hookers in the brothel urgently require

She cut off her husband dick
Poor guy waking now like lunatic
She had enough sleepless nights
In formalin soaked his delight

In the morning John fired
Like cork from champagne as he required

He was always very kin
But he had sadly only piece of skin

I am only 30 years old divorcee
But my dick can just pee

Now I can sleep in peace
Because my husband
Lost at the war
His precious piece

These services do not for hire
better put your cock into a tyre

She often gave her ass without stopping
Because she loved expensive shopping

“Make Topix”

Level 8

Since: Oct 10

Fun Again!

#86 Nov 12, 2012
There once was a man named Roy
who liked to make it with a boy
he said please refrain
from calling me a name
cause it gives me such a joy.
Mike from Auckland

Auckland, New Zealand

#87 Nov 28, 2012
These limericks will make you laugh, make you think and are all written with a nod and a wink!!:D

Auckland, New Zealand

#88 Dec 6, 2012
Very naughty! Urszula deserves to have her bare bottom spanked... But she might enjoy that?
greg young


#89 Jan 15, 2013
there once was a randy old scott
who brought a lady out in a yacht
to lazy to rape her
he made darts with brown paper
and fired them at her twat.
there once was a man from leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
when out of his arse
grew blades of grass
and out of his balls grew weeds.

Shrewsbury, UK

#91 May 1, 2013
you guys are awesome write more!!!!!!!!!!

Bondsville, MA

#92 May 3, 2013
There once was a man from dianna he liked to play the piano his foot slipped his pants ripped and out fell his big banana
Johnny B

Dublin, Ireland

#93 Jun 19, 2013
Mary had a little lamb
she kept it in a bucket
and every time the lamb got out
the sheepdog used to F**K it...!!
Johnny B

Dublin, Ireland

#94 Jun 19, 2013
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor doggie a bone
but when she bent over Rover took over
and gave her a bone of his own.

Saint Joseph, MO

#95 Nov 25, 2013
There once was a Lady from Natchez,
By chance she was born with two snatches,
She said with much wit
Oh I'd give up a Tit,
for a man with equipment
that matches.

Orlando, FL

#96 Nov 25, 2013
Curt wrote:
There once was a Lady from Natchez,
By chance she was born with two snatches,
She said with much wit
Oh I'd give up a Tit,
for a man with equipment
that matches.
when I gave birth there were 2 snatches too
Level 2

Since: Nov 08

Location hidden

#97 Dec 1, 2013
There was an old man named Earl,
who married many a girl.
When one bride grew cold,
he'd go to the next one I'm told,
and bugger until he would curl.


#98 Dec 6, 2013
There was an old lady from Eeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And p!ssed all over the ceiling
im 16 and i love this riddle i learnt it when i was 6 and i laugh when someone says it

Indianapolis, IN

#99 Dec 6, 2013
One KOOl morning ms. PALL MALL walked down CHESTERFIELD lane in WINSTON SALEM. Met mr. PHILLIP MORRIS he toke her to the RAEIGH hotel and got in the OLD GOLD bed if she don't look like a CAMEL in nine months it will be a LUCKY STRIKE
twisted childhood

Layton, UT

#102 Mar 30, 2014
3 old ladies from canada
our father used to sing us this as kids! it makes a very twisted nusrery rhyme but a fun childhood!
3 old ladies from canada got drunk on cherry wine
topic of disscusion was no ones as big as mine
1st old lady from canada said mines as big as the moon
a man went in in september and didnt come out till june
2nd old lady from canada said mines as big as the sea
the ships sail in the ships sail out and never bother me
3rd old lady from canada said mines as big as the air
the planes fly in the planes fly out and never touch a hair

roly poly dick in the holey up the slimy slue
did you get a hard on?
not yet
are you gonna get one?
you bet?
.....sung by the whore house quartet

Canterbury, UK

#103 Jul 14, 2014
There was a young man from china,
Who wasn't a very good climber,
He slipped on an rock,
And split his c**k,
And now he has a v****a.

Canterbury, UK

#104 Jul 14, 2014
There was a young woman from Ealing,
Who had a peculiar feeling,
She lied on her back,
And opened her crack,
And p****d all over the ceiling.

Canterbury, UK

#105 Jul 14, 2014
Jack and bill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack fell down and broke his crown while bill was licking his a******e

Charlestown, IN

#106 Jul 14, 2014
There once was a man from Bonaire
Who was doing his wife on the stair
When the banister broke
He doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

Garnet Valley, PA

#107 Aug 2, 2015
There once was a milkman names Schwartz
Whose penis was covered with warts
But Schwartz didn't care he still got girls of all sorts
Because good ole Schewartz came in quarts.

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