It's the Dirty Limerick Hour!!

It's the Dirty Limerick Hour!!

Posted in the Weird Forum

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“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#1 Oct 29, 2008
There once was a couple named Kelly
Who were stuck belly to belly
When in their haste
the used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly!

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#2 Oct 29, 2008
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,

Jack got high,
pulled down his fly,
and asked Jill if she wanna.

Jill said yes,
pulled up her dress,
and had a little fun.

But stupid Jill forgot the pill,
and now they have a son.

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#3 Oct 29, 2008
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan, ran away with a man.
And as for the bucket??
Nan-tuck-et!!!

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#4 Oct 29, 2008
There once was a man named Flair
who diddled his wife on the stair.
The bannister broke
he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in the air!

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#5 Oct 29, 2008
There once was a man from Cape Horn
Who wished he'd never been born
And he wouldn't have been
If his father had seen
That the end of the condom was torn.

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#6 Oct 29, 2008
A doctor who's name is Juliet,
Felt guilty, so down and upset,
"With a patient of mine,
I have sex all the time,
But the worst thing of all, I'm a vet!"

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#7 Oct 29, 2008
A young husky sportsman called Matt,
Just asked and girls came to his flat,
They'd be kissing away,
Drop his pants, and she'd say,
"I've seen joints that are fatter than that!"

Since: May 07

Spokane, WA

#8 Oct 29, 2008
There once was a man of class
His balls were made of brass
In stomy weather they twinkled together
and lightning shot out of his ass

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#9 Oct 29, 2008
Tamara24 wrote:
A doctor who's name is Juliet,
Felt guilty, so down and upset,
"With a patient of mine,
I have sex all the time,
But the worst thing of all, I'm a vet!"
hahahahahahaha dang!
Heres1or2

United States

#10 Oct 29, 2008
Ever heard of Gene Tracy Truck Stop tapes (OMG 8-track)? Filthy, yet hilarious. Used to sneak them out from pops truck and listen to them years ago.

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#11 Oct 29, 2008
Heres1or2 wrote:
Ever heard of Gene Tracy Truck Stop tapes (OMG 8-track)? Filthy, yet hilarious. Used to sneak them out from pops truck and listen to them years ago.
No but now I gotta go look!

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#12 Oct 29, 2008
Heres1or2 wrote:
Ever heard of Gene Tracy Truck Stop tapes (OMG 8-track)? Filthy, yet hilarious. Used to sneak them out from pops truck and listen to them years ago.
hahahaha this is some great stuff even by today's standards! Thanks for posting it...we're cracking up here
skip

Decatur, GA

#13 Oct 29, 2008
A highly confused tourist named Kapp
Had to trace out his trip on the map.
He discovered that Tifflis
Was where he got syphilis,
And London was where he caught the clap
skip

Decatur, GA

#14 Oct 29, 2008
My girlfriend has rich auburn hair
To set off her skin, oh, so fair
It all looks so right,
Then we turn out the light;
How she looks then, I really don't care
OBJECTIVE

Fort Macleod, Canada

#15 Oct 29, 2008
There was a young man from St Pauls
Who toured the music halls
His favourite trick
Was to stand on his pr!ck
And roll off the stage on his balls
OBJECTIVE

Fort Macleod, Canada

#16 Oct 29, 2008
There were once two cats from Kilkenny
Each thought there was one cat too many
So they spat, bit and tore
And they fought more and more
'Till instead of two cats, there weren't any
OBJECTIVE

Fort Macleod, Canada

#17 Oct 29, 2008
There was a young lady from France
Who got on the bus in a trance
Everyone f**ked her
Except the conductor
And he came twice in his pants
OBJECTIVE

Fort Macleod, Canada

#18 Oct 29, 2008
There was an old lady from Eeling
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
And opened her crack
And p!ssed all over the ceiling
OBJECTIVE

Fort Macleod, Canada

#19 Oct 29, 2008
That was a horrible song!
Sing us another one,
Just like the other one,
Sing us another one,
Dooooo....

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#20 Oct 30, 2008
OBJECTIVE wrote:
There was a young man from St Pauls
Who toured the music halls
His favourite trick
Was to stand on his pr!ck
And roll off the stage on his balls
hahahahaha

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