Jokes You Didn't Get The First Time

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Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#1 Dec 15, 2013
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana."
[It was literally years before I caught on to that one. A fruit fly would prefer fruit...]

I was watching a video on the news of a midget escaping from a prison, and as he climbed down the outside fence he started laughing. I thought "Well, that's a little condescending."
[A. Little. Con. Descending.]

Birthday parties get shorter the older you get. My 62nd birthday party, for an example, was only one minute long.
[62nd ... sixty second ... sorry]

Hey, I didn't say they were good jokes, just that I didn't get it when I first heard them. Anyone else?

“'" Always Thinking '"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#2 Dec 15, 2013
Hoof Arted, you've done it, gone off the deep end! LMAO
Topix does have that effect on you-get you a drink soon
and calm yourself by deep breathing and slow exhaling!
**Then play some word games to disperse your anxieties**

Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#3 Dec 15, 2013
"But all she caught was a red snapper."
For years I didn't get it. Anyone I asked would lol and still not tell me!
I first heard this joke when @ 16 years old working at a Sonic drive in. Was 37 before a compassionate friend gave in and explained it to me.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#4 Dec 15, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
Hoof Arted, you've done it, gone off the deep end! LMAO
Topix does have that effect on you-get you a drink soon
and calm yourself by deep breathing and slow exhaling!
**Then play some word games to disperse your anxieties**
GONE off the deep end? I've been off the......... Oh. "Gone off the deep end." Got it. Yes, yes I have. I'll try the breathing thing. Thanks.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#5 Dec 15, 2013
SimplyLoveYou wrote:
"But all she caught was a red snapper."
For years I didn't get it. Anyone I asked would lol and still not tell me!
I first heard this joke when @ 16 years old working at a Sonic drive in. Was 37 before a compassionate friend gave in and explained it to me.
I was at least in my late teens before I understood "How do you get down off an elephants back?"

Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#6 Dec 15, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
I was at least in my late teens before I understood "How do you get down off an elephants back?"
That quacked me up!
; * D

“"Trust no one"”

Level 1

Since: Jul 13

Drive it, like you stole it

#7 Dec 15, 2013
My Mom used to tell a joke that went like this.
A guy walks into the store and ask for a quart of milk and the clerk says "A quart?"
Me and my sister would get so frustrated trying to understand what the joke was about while she and my father would be laughing
Every time she re told it to us we would get more mad than the last time because she would be laughing and we would insist that it was not funny.
It was a long time before I got the joke
So does anyone here get it???

Level 2

Since: Oct 12

Location hidden

#8 Dec 16, 2013
FTW Yall wrote:
My Mom used to tell a joke that went like this.
A guy walks into the store and ask for a quart of milk and the clerk says "A quart?"
Me and my sister would get so frustrated trying to understand what the joke was about while she and my father would be laughing
Every time she re told it to us we would get more mad than the last time because she would be laughing and we would insist that it was not funny.
It was a long time before I got the joke
So does anyone here get it???
I give up, lol. Of course?

Since: Oct 13

Location hidden

#9 Dec 16, 2013
FTW Yall wrote:
My Mom used to tell a joke that went like this.
A guy walks into the store and ask for a quart of milk and the clerk says "A quart?"
Me and my sister would get so frustrated trying to understand what the joke was about while she and my father would be laughing
Every time she re told it to us we would get more mad than the last time because she would be laughing and we would insist that it was not funny.
It was a long time before I got the joke
So does anyone here get it???
I have to admit I'm lost, too. Sounds like it's an inside joke, but since you said you finally got it, there has to be something I'm missing. Help us out here.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#10 Dec 16, 2013
park street wrote:
<quoted text>
I have to admit I'm lost, too. Sounds like it's an inside joke, but since you said you finally got it, there has to be something I'm missing. Help us out here.
Ditto.

“"Trust no one"”

Level 1

Since: Jul 13

Drive it, like you stole it

#11 Dec 16, 2013
park street wrote:
<quoted text>
I have to admit I'm lost, too. Sounds like it's an inside joke, but since you said you finally got it, there has to be something I'm missing. Help us out here.
O.K. Her it is. It is a " Shaggy Dog story" joke. The joke is that their is no joke. The teller finds humor in the fact that others are trying so hard to make sense out of something that makes no sense. My parents were laughing not at the joke but the fact that we were getting so frustrated that we did not get it. By acting like the joke is so damn funny only further puts the mark into confusion. The punchline is the person's reaction to hearing it.. Took me for ever to realize they were laughing at me not the actual joke because the joke was on me.

“"Trust no one"”

Level 1

Since: Jul 13

Drive it, like you stole it

#14 Dec 16, 2013
dem wrote:
<quoted text>so now would be an appropriate time to tell you to fluk off?
Hey no where does it say the joke had to be a good one. Just that you did not get it the first time you heard it.
PS
You just fell for the joke sucker!

Since: Feb 09

Location hidden

#15 Dec 17, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like banana."
[It was literally years before I caught on to that one. A fruit fly would prefer fruit...]
I was watching a video on the news of a midget escaping from a prison, and as he climbed down the outside fence he started laughing. I thought "Well, that's a little condescending."
[A. Little. Con. Descending.]
Birthday parties get shorter the older you get. My 62nd birthday party, for an example, was only one minute long.
[62nd ... sixty second ... sorry]
Hey, I didn't say they were good jokes, just that I didn't get it when I first heard them. Anyone else?
Hoof Arted.

lol

remember? took me a bit before I realized ur name there. lol
Parden Pard

Catasauqua, PA

#16 Dec 17, 2013
HEE,HEE,,,,lol,,,HA-HA-HA,,,,H oofie bought a quart of buttermilk,,(roar),,,,ha-ha,,, ,he-he,,,,,lol,,,,,rolling in the aisles,,,,,

“"Trust no one"”

Level 1

Since: Jul 13

Drive it, like you stole it

#17 Dec 19, 2013
( "Wise man Confucius once say " Man who go through airport turnstyle sideways is going to Bangkok.")
Did not get it until I was about 13-14

“Necks victim”

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#18 Dec 19, 2013
PFfff wrote:
<quoted text>
Hoof Arted.
lol
remember? took me a bit before I realized ur name there. lol
Took me about a week.

Definitely a d'oh! type of moment....
dad of 3

Portland, OR

#19 Dec 19, 2013
Two blondes walked into a building...
wow, you'd think one of them would've seen it!

A man walked into a bar, and said...
"Damn, that hurt!"

I heard those when I was 12, didn't get them till I was 16

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#20 Dec 20, 2013
NotaGoth wrote:
<quoted text>
Took me about a week.
Definitely a d'oh! type of moment....
It's a takeoff from a horse named "Hoof Hearted" .......... I've had people message me saying they didn't catch on, even after saying it out loud, until someone else pointed it out.

www.youtube.com/watch... ;

“Necks victim”

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#21 Dec 22, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
It's a takeoff from a horse named "Hoof Hearted" .......... I've had people message me saying they didn't catch on, even after saying it out loud, until someone else pointed it out.
www.youtube.com/watch... ;
Well, I bet the horse had quite the blast!

“We're all Bozos on this bus”

Since: Jan 07

Indianapolis, IN

#22 Dec 22, 2013
One from a joke book I got as a kid, that stumped me for a long time:

Guy walks into a hardware store, looks over the merchandise and says, "Is this asbestos there is?"

The clerk replies,'No but it's asbestos we got."

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