“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#5524 Nov 5, 2013
If I were to go to a psychiatrist, should I bring a bag of pecans, filberts and almonds to snack on during the session?

Or would the good doc exclaim "Oh, no! A bunch of nuts!" and start scribbling furiously on his prescription pad?

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#5525 Nov 5, 2013
I think I have a good invention.

A filter to put on the soda bottle to eliminate the sugar, artificial flavors and colorings and carbon dioxide bubbly stuff.

The critics will say the end result is just water!

And I'll counter "But it's Coca-cola brand water minus the Coca and cola!"

Oh, wait. Dasani bottled water already beat me to it.

Nevermind.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5526 Nov 6, 2013
The United States and Britain have apologized for their part in the slave trade in the 18th and 19th centuries, and so they should.
But in the same spirit of moving forward, shouldn't certain African tribes apologize for cooking missionaries in enormous metal cauldrons and stealing their top hats?

“We're all Bozos on this bus”

Since: Jan 07

Indianapolis, IN

#5527 Nov 7, 2013
SWAT doesn't mean 'Sealed With A Turd'

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5528 Nov 7, 2013
Too many pigs seem to die while eating an apple.

Level 6

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#5529 Nov 7, 2013
If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

Level 6

Since: Apr 13

Location hidden

#5530 Nov 7, 2013
Why are a wise man and a wise guy considered opposites?
Level 3

Since: Aug 13

Location hidden

#5531 Nov 7, 2013
to ponder.

us. you.. on offbeat
:)

bark bark bark.. chasing cars.

&li st=PLxZDYILMVpWfKJ_6VXXqy3IYVy -sC0cV2

peace.

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#5532 Nov 8, 2013
If you ate yourself, would you become twice as large or disappear completely?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5533 Nov 8, 2013
What do Mexican Cannibals like to eat?

Refried Beings.

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#5534 Nov 11, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
What do Mexican Cannibals like to eat?

Refried Beings.
Now that's funny, I don't care who you are.....

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#5535 Nov 11, 2013
I wonder if I could record two cats fighting at midnight, use a bit of auto-tune magic, and have a hit song.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5536 Nov 12, 2013
Cannibals don't leave the table until everyone's eaten.

:/

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#5537 Nov 12, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
Cannibals don't leave the table until everyone's eaten.

:/
Bwahahaha. You're killing me! I hope I don't taste like chicken.

“I'll just kick me down a wall,”

Level 6

Since: Dec 11

And walk outa here!

#5538 Nov 13, 2013
Spotted Girl wrote:
If you ate yourself, would you become twice as large or disappear completely?
kind of sounds like the "'why does a dog lick his balls"' joke....

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5539 Nov 13, 2013
What's white and runs down windows?

The Apple Corporation Board of Directors.

Since: Aug 08

Buffalo, NY

#5540 Nov 13, 2013
... i luv bacon so much i often ponder ... whats wrong with having a real sharp patato peeler a small pig anda tube of neo-sporin ...

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5541 Nov 13, 2013
Brandiiiiiiii wrote:
<quoted text>
Bwahahaha. You're killing me! I hope I don't taste like chicken.
Nothing wrong with chicken. I LIKE chicken!

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#5542 Nov 13, 2013
Suppose I once burned the midnight oil at 7 PM. How much trouble would I be in?

Completely hypothetical, of course.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#5543 Nov 14, 2013
Anyone else noticed that suns upside down is still suns?

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