“Ridin' The Devils Little Horse”

Since: Mar 08

Straight To Hells Door

#4263 Jan 8, 2013
How do the people who forecast the weather get to keep their jobs when they are wrong so often?
@}-'--,---

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#4264 Jan 9, 2013
Wildbluerose wrote:
How do the people who forecast the weather get to keep their jobs when they are wrong so often?
@}-'--,---
Don't let the weather fool you.

It's just a front..........
redneck

Selma, OR

#4265 Jan 9, 2013
Uh Clem wrote:
It's no coincidence that sausage is shaped like intestines.
Around 1200, dessert nomads found that goat intestines made good birth control. Around 1800, British improved the idea by removing it from the goat.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#4266 Jan 9, 2013
Just because I don't like someone's dirty poetry, why am I the bad guy?
Level 7

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#4267 Jan 9, 2013
When a baby is teething they say he/she has a tooth coming in. Why don't people say they have a tooth coming out?

“I'll just kick me down a wall,”

Level 6

Since: Dec 11

And walk outa here!

#4268 Jan 9, 2013
Why do people say," it's cold as hell?"

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4269 Jan 9, 2013
liam cul8r wrote:
Why do people say," it's cold as hell?"
With that phrase, it should be used sarcastically in the summer.

Why don't we ever say it is hot as Heaven?

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#4270 Jan 9, 2013
In-Like-Flynn wrote:
I read today where a rock from Mars was found in the Sahara desert, it was billions of years old. How can they know for sure it came from Mars?
I bet it was a pet rock that had a collar on it.

One dog tag on the collar said "All vaccinations. 2,000,716,444 BC"

The other dog tag said "If found, please return to xhsya, 1217 Canal Road, Olympus Mons Gardens, Planet Mars."

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#4271 Jan 9, 2013
Sally Brown wrote:
When a baby is teething they say he/she has a tooth coming in. Why don't people say they have a tooth coming out?
Depends on your frame of reference.

For the baby, it's coming out.

For the breastfeeding mom... ouch.

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#4272 Jan 9, 2013
I go down to the shore and hear waves crashing on the beach.

The insurance premiums for the ocean must be astronomical.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#4273 Jan 10, 2013
Anyone else realize the Flintsones are light-years ahead of us in alternetive fuels?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#4274 Jan 10, 2013
Do computers in prison have an escape key?

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4275 Jan 10, 2013
I'd hate to see what the prisoners' dream keyboard looks like. It would have not only an escape key, but a rape key, a kill key, a rob key, a beer key, a crack key, a weed key...

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4276 Jan 10, 2013
And for the trolls here, their keyboards have interesting keys. Nuts key, clueless key, racy key, disagree key, mean key, off-topic key, spam key, incendiary key, a flame key, a spew BS key, a proxy key, an impersonate key, and a false rape allegation key.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#4277 Jan 10, 2013
...my neighbor's fat son trying to put a roof on a house.
Level 7

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#4278 Jan 10, 2013
Fat people in spandex???

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#4279 Jan 10, 2013
I wish I knew morse code for the letter S ...

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#4280 Jan 10, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
I wish I knew morse code for the letter S ...
I think you just gave it. I remember learning how to do a mayday call with Morse code....---...

So I got to thinking about --- being O and the name someone gave their child. La-a. Guess how they pronounced that? Ladashia.

Then that brings us to Christmas carols. "Dashing through the snow..." Who writes dashes in the snow? Then again, a few guys might since "every man has his own stylus..."

Speaking of carols. Some guys were told to bring some things that reminded them of Christmas. One may have brought a small part of a pine tree. That reminded the person of Christmas trees. Another brought a bow. That reminded them of presents. Then the 3rd brought in a pair of panties. When asked what that had to do with Christmas, he said they were Carol's.

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#4281 Jan 11, 2013
How can anyone has so many tears coming from them?

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#4282 Jan 11, 2013
The weather...

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