Unwanted Help

Since: Feb 09

Location hidden

#45 Jun 9, 2014
I'd say in these times, ur more likely to "want" help and Not get it
people tend to ignore whats going on around them, whether they're afraid or what I'm not sure but who can blame em since u never know who or what ur dealing with...

Since: Feb 09

Location hidden

#46 Jun 9, 2014
Grace, u two probably Did look a little crazy.
lol

just teasing ya!
:)

once it had snowed and I picked up my kids from school, cars everywhere, and a priest tried to drive his car up the little ramp to get into the school driveway, but couldn't because of the ice on it.
men Everywhere waiting for him to move so they could too, Not one of them got out to help - well NOT until lil ol Me, got out to help push the car. LOL - All 5 ft., 115 lbs - little ol me..
guess what - shamed those guys and only then did they come out of their cars to help. I quietly walked back to my own, afterall I was the only female there and didn't want to show them up. LOL
;)

“Will cause trouble when bored”

Level 6

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#47 Jun 9, 2014
Hmmm I'll probably regret posting this cuz i already been there and done this with sg, but wth! I'm bored n we all know what happens when I'm bored!
People not paying attention to their surroundings and helping out their fellow human is what is wrong with the world today!!

I know i know sg! You don't need help! ;)

and before u waste your time typing it I already know your rules of responding to you and choose to post according to my own rules! ;)

One time after dark my car died right at an intersection, walking across the intersection was these 3 thuggishly dressed teenage boys. My heart stopped it was dark, bad area, my car wouldnt crank, no one was around, I was like omg wtf am i gonna do..?(before everyone had cell phones) Guess what happened??
They offered to push my car one block to the gas station! Unsolicited help that was greatly needed and very appreciated! And guess what, I didn't feel bad at all;)sg I actually felt lucky that they were there and helped me.

Hey sg! How ya been, besides dwellin on convos from months ago! Tehehe
Uncle Sam

Owensboro, KY

#48 Jun 9, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
Here is a place to discuss incidents of unwanted help, particularly when it crosses ethnic lines. This is intended to be a helpful thread where honest discourse is welcome. It seems that WP are less likely to force unwanted help on others, though plenty do. There has to be a reason for the disparity across ethnic groups.
I wouldn't want a gang of people from any ethnic or racial group following me around and harassing me. If they are honestly trying to help that is differant, but they should instantly stop if you tell them you don't need any help.

“Towards Spring”

Level 8

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#49 Jun 9, 2014
tora tora tora wrote:
go to traffic school learn the laws of the road , you were suppose to know them when issued a permit..
1st pedestrians always have the right away even when they are wrong ... they are right
sometimes DEAD RIGHT been to a cemetery recently
Irrespective of 'the right of way'
circumstances alter cases..when out there in the
middle of sudden traffic situations, and common sense often dictates
the right thing to do.

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#50 Jun 9, 2014
PFfff wrote:
I'd say in these times, ur more likely to "want" help and Not get it
people tend to ignore whats going on around them, whether they're afraid or what I'm not sure but who can blame em since u never know who or what ur dealing with...
I'd rather have that scenario since then you are at the mercy of natural law and nature without others interfering, which is nearly always degrading and time-wasting.

“.WHERE DID”

Since: May 14

THAT POST GO

#51 Jun 9, 2014
Grace Nerissa wrote:
<quoted text>
Irrespective of 'the right of way'
circumstances alter cases..when out there in the
middle of sudden traffic situations, and common sense often dictates
the right thing to do.
except for the sheep they always have the wool over the eyes

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#52 Jun 9, 2014
Lylah wrote:
Hmmm I'll probably regret posting this cuz i already been there and done this with sg, but wth! I'm bored n we all know what happens when I'm bored!
People not paying attention to their surroundings and helping out their fellow human is what is wrong with the world today!!
I know i know sg! You don't need help! ;)
and before u waste your time typing it I already know your rules of responding to you and choose to post according to my own rules! ;)
One time after dark my car died right at an intersection, walking across the intersection was these 3 thuggishly dressed teenage boys. My heart stopped it was dark, bad area, my car wouldnt crank, no one was around, I was like omg wtf am i gonna do..?(before everyone had cell phones) Guess what happened??
They offered to push my car one block to the gas station! Unsolicited help that was greatly needed and very appreciated! And guess what, I didn't feel bad at all;)sg I actually felt lucky that they were there and helped me.
Hey sg! How ya been, besides dwellin on convos from months ago! Tehehe
Well, hope you are doing well. As for your dig at the end, I post things and then forget them. It might help you if you got into that habit too, just saying. I have never left such a dig at the end of a post or conversation.You'd have many more friends if you avoiding making digs and avoided bringing up the past. I am good enough to avoid such things, and the real person inside you likely is too.

I dislike when people act like they are being nice, and then ruin everything they said by putting some sort of dig on the end or hinting someone else has a flaw. Like why can't some people ask "How are you doing?" without attaching "this morning" (with an accusatory inflection) on the end, or implying something is wrong with the other person? That is like taking the time to prepare a nice meal and then placing a turd on top.

As for rules, they are specific to each person, and if you don't know what they are, and are not willing to follow them, then you are obligated to not interact with them. That is basic human respect, and something every good mother teaches. Each person is an individual, and it is impossible to know how they define respect or what their needs are unless they TELL you first.

Notice, I am only posting about FORCED help, not any other kind. You are supposed to be aware of YOUR surroundings, and those of your family and friends, not strangers, unless they obviously NEED (life or death) help. Knowing if others want or need help is very easy. You ask them or they tell you. Unless they actually tell you, it is rude and disrespectful to assume they want or need it, unless they are unconscious or you are an AUTHORITY FIGURE. See it is wrong to help an equal unless they ask or are in dire need, but an authority figure is a higher rank, and stepping out of rank is wrong. I have no right to tell mere equals to not park in fire zones, but it is the right of the property owner, the police, and certainly the fire marshal or a fireman. And if you do wrong on the job, it is not your co-worker's job to correct you. If it impacts their job, they are to go to the supervisor.

It seems you keep confusing the two situations - forced help vs. a mere offer (to which the other person can refuse the first time and be taken seriously). With you, they MERELY OFFERED, not forced like rape. They did ASK you first, didn't they? I am not into pro-forma crap nor playing hard to get. If I say No on ANY matter, I mean it permanently from the first time I say it, and badgering won't change my mind.

For me, I would have never gotten into an out of gas situation, since I would have prepared for that in advance. You should have been raised to prevent that situation, and the thug types should have been raised to ignore others and act less intimidating.

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#53 Jun 9, 2014
Emerald wrote:
SG, I sometimes run into the same situation where a male driver will signal to me to go first. Women drivers do this too.. I usually find myself giving in because I don't want to waste time or risk an accident. I made the mistake once of acting too quickly when being signaled by someone and I almost ended up with a fender bender. I swore I would never let someone tell when to go again. But now I make sure to be extremely careful when doing so and proceed cautiously. It can be frustrating at a 4 way stop sign sometimes. Doesn't happen very often, but there are those rare moments. Everyone wants to be sure who's turn it is to go first, and when they're not sure who's going first, they just sit there waiting for someone to take their turn. Then the other drivers start flashing their lights or beeping their horn, until finally, someone decides to make the first move. As for being directed to walk across the street. I often will do that when I'm signaled to do so. I don't necessarily feel like I'm being controlled by that person. If anything, I consider it a courtesy and it could possibly be a life saver as well. As for some forcing their help on you, you can always refuse. I remember when my mother, father and I went out to lunch one day. My father was in a wheelchair and when I was helping him out of the car and into the wheelchair, he wasn't cooperating and he fell onto the parking lot. His brain was damaged from a severe stroke and it was sometimes difficult making him understand. Anyway, he wasn't hurt, but some guy immediately ran over to us and helped me to pick my father up and back into his wheelchair. It kind of made me feel like I wasn't capable of transporting my dad to and from the car, but then I realized I was taking it too personal. This was about my dad, not me. Nonetheless, I was grateful to the guy for helping me out and it was greatly appreciated.
First, I didn't say that WW don't do this, just that BM do this the most for whatever reason.

I am not opposed to ALL help in traffic situations, just that which forces, imposes, or attempts to control another. If it doesn't involve interacting, then by all means to it. Just treat a cyclist the SAME as if they are driving a car and make all the same assumptions. Don't look at them as a "pedestrian" (though that might be their legal designation), but ignore the person and think of them like a car. That means treating cyclists the SAME as drivers in cars with the window up. I find myself crossing my arms a lot, and finally the idiot will get a clue and realize I don't want to go and that they wasted both of our time, when it was safe for them to go on and ignore me in the first place. The road is a place for LOGIC, not stupid stuff like flirting or socializing.

As for times I do appreciate, I will give an example. I was on the sidewalk and about to cross a side street. I first thought it odd that the car to my left was slowing down as if to wait for me. But then I noticed her turn signal. And it realized she was just being a defensive driver, which is a good thing. Notice the term - defensive driver, not offensive driver, patronizing driver, nor bossy driver. She realized that if she didn't slow to let me finish, I'd likely t-bone her (hey, I once did that). See, I saw her as doing it for her, not for me. It was clearly a matter of safety, not an attempt to control a situation (but an attempt to prevent a situation).

Other things like trying to force a cyclist across so you can pass them again is just stupid and serves no legitimate purpose. When I see a car at an intersection in the distance, and there are no traffic lights, I slow down to give them time to clear the intersection before I get there. But some want to be idiots and waste the extra time I give them and try to force me to go, when I had my heart set on being last and took steps to make that happen.

“Will cause trouble when bored”

Level 6

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#55 Jun 9, 2014
Lmao whoa sg, calm down now chick! I wasn't out of gas, my fuel pump went out. Hmmm. Are you familiar with what they say about assumptions. ;)

Its funny to me, that included in your very inaccurate long post that you are commenting about never posting digs at people when your whole post as usual, is an attempt to be condescending.(which btw doesnt work on a very confident person like myself it only tricks you into feeling that you are better than a stranger on the internet! Smdh Lol) So, ya want to rethink that, and post a very long accurate second try, because you just did attempt a dig and guess what I just pointed it out. Tehehe.

psst fyi in case you haven't noticed, I'm a social butterfly. ;)
Hey I have a buddy that you might enjoy, she mostly posts to herself so she wouldn't break your silly little don't respond to your post rule;).

Oh wait, on second thought dont worry about the posting of a correction to your prior post, I already know I'm right!! Lol.

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#56 Jun 9, 2014
Emerald wrote:
SG, I know what you mean. There are many good drivers out there, but also plenty of irresponsible drivers too. I had a lot of near misses in my life thanks to thoughtless drivers. Tractor trailers freak me out whenever I'm near them. I try to keep my distance. We had numerous accidents on a local highway due to these huge trucks. They're not always to blame though. I've seen how some drivers weave in and out of lanes or tail gate. I drive 5 miles over the speed limit but that's about it. If they want to get ahead of me, that's ok. Anyway, Penndot needs to construct separate lanes for those big rigs. Many cities across the U.S. already have them. I have my car tuned up regularly too, but you never know if and when something could go wrong. You can be prepared for just about every possible emergency but there is still the chance for the unexpected to happen.
On a bike, a tractor-trailer does scare me. While I hate that some drivers will drive on the wrong side of the road because you are there, the truck drivers leave the least space. I imagine part of their training may be to stay on course, even if it might kill someone, since if they try to miss certain obstacles, it will only make matters worse and likely result in more fatalities.

Yes, the unexpected can happen. Tune-ups and inspections can only find so much. Inspections don't include checking wheel bearings, universal joints, tie rods, or timing chains. In fact, they don't even look at your belts and hoses. So s**t happens. Sometimes even preventative steps end up being hazards. You might keep spare fuel in the trunk, and if it leaks and if you have a short in the wiring harness to the tail lights...

“.WHERE DID”

Since: May 14

THAT POST GO

#57 Jun 9, 2014
teering, Front End, Suspension, Chassis, Frame and Wheel Fasteners

wheelFront end assembly - check condition

Steering wheel play - check for excessive freeplay
All steering linkages - check for tightness or binding, excessive wear and/or looseness in parts, including idler arm, center control arm, tie-rod ends, drag link ends, steering and pitman arms, gear box, cross shafts, bushings, wheel bearings, steering column or steering wheel shaft mounting
Power steering - check operation, condition of belt, and for leakage
Shock absorbers - check shock mountings and for broken or missing shock absorbers
Springs and torsion bars - check for sagging or broken springs, or a broken, disconnected, missing or bent torsion or stabilizer bar
Chassis/frame - check for breaks, cracks, or severe rust at the suspension attachment points
Wheel fasteners - check for missing or broken parts

“.WHERE DID”

Since: May 14

THAT POST GO

#58 Jun 9, 2014
The updated fuel transportation regulations enacted by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) went into effect for all states in January 2009. The move began as a clean-air law in California in 2000 by the California Air Resources Board (CARB), that became EPA policy and was updated in 2007 to make compliance by 2009 mandatory for all states. These new rules demand that all portable fuel containers (PFCs) made and sold in the U.S. are compliant with environmental and personal safety.

YES
NO

eHow
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Public Health & Safety
Environmental Health
Regulations for Transport of Fuel in Cans

Regulations for Transport of Fuel in Cans
By Tami Parrington, eHow Contributor

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Regulations for Transport of Fuel in Cans thumbnail It is illegal to pump gasoline, or other forms of fuel, into unapproved containers.

The updated fuel transportation regulations enacted by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) went into effect for all states in January 2009. The move began as a clean-air law in California in 2000 by the California Air Resources Board (CARB), that became EPA policy and was updated in 2007 to make compliance by 2009 mandatory for all states. These new rules demand that all portable fuel containers (PFCs) made and sold in the U.S. are compliant with environmental and personal safety. Have a question? Get an answer from a doctor now!
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Fuel Can Laws
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Self Closing Lids

New PFCs must have self-closing spouts, caps, or lids that spring shut when not in use. This keeps vapors that cause greenhouse gases from escaping into the atmosphere or ground water sources. The self-closing caps protect against spillage

Fuel containers produced after July 1, 2007 must not emit more than 0.4 grams of vapor per gallon a day. Those produced after January 1, 2009 must not emit more than 0.3 grams.
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Union City, MI

#59 Jun 9, 2014
oh brother, go to bed dude
bill

Owensboro, KY

#60 Jun 9, 2014
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
oh brother, go to bed dude
that was somewhat helpful sure ashell dont wont my car trunk exploding while im driveing to the liquor store
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Union City, MI

#61 Jun 9, 2014
bill wrote:
<quoted text>
that was somewhat helpful sure ashell dont wont my car trunk exploding while im driveing to the liquor store
<durp>

“Hippie Single DAD, vet, Honest”

Level 6

Since: Apr 11

Steamboat Sprgs Colorado

#63 Jun 9, 2014
Larry Griffith's Help I Don't Need
http://youtu.be/7gNqzTOJ2_E

BEFORE you take offense,I was just trying to help. Rick

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#64 Jun 9, 2014
Lylah wrote:
Lmao whoa sg, calm down now chick! I wasn't out of gas, my fuel pump went out. Hmmm. Are you familiar with what they say about assumptions. ;)
Its funny to me, that included in your very inaccurate long post that you are commenting about never posting digs at people when your whole post as usual, is an attempt to be condescending.(which btw doesnt work on a very confident person like myself it only tricks you into feeling that you are better than a stranger on the internet! Smdh Lol) So, ya want to rethink that, and post a very long accurate second try, because you just did attempt a dig and guess what I just pointed it out. Tehehe.
psst fyi in case you haven't noticed, I'm a social butterfly. ;)
Hey I have a buddy that you might enjoy, she mostly posts to herself so she wouldn't break your silly little don't respond to your post rule;).
Oh wait, on second thought dont worry about the posting of a correction to your prior post, I already know I'm right!! Lol.
Ah, my favorite Eye Lady! Yay!:-)

Calm down? I wasn't even upset. That is a common abuse tactic to pretend others are upset when they are not as a form of bullying and control. So please don't do it. Your closing arrogant comment was unnecessary and abusive. This is an informal online forum, so nobody can be right or wrong. They merely say what they feel at the time and move on.

There was nothing inaccurate in my post as it was ALL opinion and based on my experiences alone.It is immoral and wrong to call people's experiences and opinions wrong. Your mother should have taught you that.

I have never been condescending in my life as only trash people are capable of such. Hopefully the real person inside of you is better than that and will refrain from such in the future. If you hadn't tried to talk down to me or bring up the past, we'd be chatting as friends now. That is your loss, not mine.

You say butterfly, and I say moth.

Confident people don't resort to bullying tactics. Confident people are not capable of bullying, making digs, nor bringing up the past. Everyone has a confident person inside, and I sincerely hope you find her.

EVERYTHING I say is correct for me. It might not be correct for you, but my word doesn't revolve around you nor your negativity and hate. You should know by now that you are only wasting our time when you try to change me. I suggest you adopt a more teachable spirit.

Spotted Girl

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#65 Jun 9, 2014
power pedal wrote:
<quoted text>
Nonsense
It might be nonsense to you, but I still consider forced help a form of rape, and likely will until I die.

Opinions are never nonsense, but just specific to each person. We are all individuals and were made to function as individuals. Lower animals function as packs and have no logic, just emotions.
The Eternal Hooka of Life

Kansas City, MO

#66 Jun 10, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
It might be nonsense to you, but I still consider forced help a form of rape.
Then what do you consider "actual" rape?

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