Hi. I think I understand what you are saying.<quoted text>
I don't consider that nice, but nosy people helping others as a way of emotionally controlling others. What if you wanted to struggle alone? What if you wanted to accomplish something solely by your own effort or prove to others you don't need them? What if the whole purpose you do something is to get it done a certain way or to do it alone?
For instance, when I was in maybe 2nd grade, I dropped some papers. I saw how they fell, and I knew my own filing order. I was picking them up alone just fine and another kid came over and picked them up in an inferior way which generated much more work for me, like 15 minutes or so. Most people are too stupid to pick things up precisely as they fell without scrambling them. They didn't give a damn about doing it the right way, just scoring points from some supernatural sky being or feeling good at the expense of others. Had they left me alone for 15-20 more seconds, there would have been NO additional work created in getting things back 100% in the same order they were before they fell.
I don't mind help, but it must ALWAYS be with my permission. Are most parents too stupid to teach their offspring to ASK before helping and to NEVER assume anyone wants it or needs it? Are they too stupid to teach others to ONLY help others in the ways they want and to do things only the way the other person dictates? Are they too stupid to teach that you most be 100% sure they want and need help before helping it? If they don't want it, it is just another type of rape, and if they don't need it, it would be immoral to wasted limited time and effort on someone that doesn't need it when there are many inferior, broken people who do need it. A drunk doesn't need another drink. What they need is taken to a detox center and a treatment center. Enabling bad behavior is wrong and ensures the person will stay broken and constantly in need of help. That brings us to codependency, once known as co-addiction. That is a person who enables and alcoholic or doper in any way, whether directly through supplying it, nor indirectly through b*tching, nagging, griping, and trying to clean up their messes (bailing them out of jail, apologizing for them, pouring out their booze, paying their fines, etc).
It brings to mind the story of a person in a wheelchair. The first time he went out alone in his chair to shop.
It was a big step for him, this new independence. He comes to a busy street corner and pushes the walk button. Waits for the cars to pass stop or turn and at last rolls across the intersection with seconds to spare. On reaching the other side, he sees there is a slick on the curb. So he must do a round about, turning his chair facing the way he came, to back up the curb. As he maneuvers closer to his goal, the light changes once again. Another fellow steps around the corner. See's our fellow and without asking grabs the handles of the chair and safely pushes him back across the street from where he came.:)