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“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#1 Jun 5, 2014
Here is a place to discuss incidents of unwanted help, particularly when it crosses ethnic lines. This is intended to be a helpful thread where honest discourse is welcome. It seems that WP are less likely to force unwanted help on others, though plenty do. There has to be a reason for the disparity across ethnic groups.

“Groooovin'”

Since: Feb 14

Location hidden

#2 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
Here is a place to discuss incidents of unwanted help, particularly when it crosses ethnic lines. This is intended to be a helpful thread where honest discourse is welcome. It seems that WP are less likely to force unwanted help on others, though plenty do. There has to be a reason for the disparity across ethnic groups.
. ARE YA..RAGGING.. On WP NOW?? Are ya a FREAKIN' RACIST??
bill

Owensboro, KY

#3 Jun 5, 2014
Nothing wrong with people trying to help but 90% of the time they want something in return. Not always though sometime they are just want to help and want nothing in return

“DON'T ASK I”

Since: May 14

DON'T GIVE A HOOT

#4 Jun 5, 2014
see above statement ... wasn't that helpful

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#5 Jun 5, 2014
Petal Power wrote:
<quoted text>. ARE YA..RAGGING.. On WP NOW?? Are ya a FREAKIN' RACIST??
I am a WP, so how can I be racist against myself? Talking about racial matters or how one is a victim of racism is not racist. Wanting open dialog is not racism.

But I posted this in the wrong forum. I searched for a thread I started and it was gone, so I started this as a replacement. But I then realized I had posted in the wrong forum.

My apologies.
bill

Owensboro, KY

#6 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a WP, so how can I be racist against myself? Talking about racial matters or how one is a victim of racism is not racist. Wanting open dialog is not racism.
But I posted this in the wrong forum. I searched for a thread I started and it was gone, so I started this as a replacement. But I then realized I had posted in the wrong forum.
My apologies.
I've had black guys try to help me when I was down on my luck and some of them are the nicest people on this earth. Sometimes a little sympathy is all you need and they know exactly how you feel. I have also met a lot of younger black men that want nothing more than to see you fail maybe because thats how they have been treated

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#7 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
I am a WP, so how can I be racist against myself? Talking about racial matters or how one is a victim of racism is not racist. Wanting open dialog is not racism.
But I posted this in the wrong forum. I searched for a thread I started and it was gone, so I started this as a replacement. But I then realized I had posted in the wrong forum.
My apologies.
Need some help finding the right forum?(grin)

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#8 Jun 5, 2014
Dr_Dirty wrote:
<quoted text>
Need some help finding the right forum?(grin)
No. I already did. Even as a joke, assuming that I am stupid and in need of help is offensive. I consider unwanted help to be a type of rape, and we never joke about raping people.

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#9 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
No. I already did. Even as a joke, assuming that I am stupid and in need of help is offensive. I consider unwanted help to be a type of rape, and we never joke about raping people.
Shirely Ujest.

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#10 Jun 5, 2014
The fictional version of me is covered with spots. Just don't hit my mad spots.
bill

Owensboro, KY

#11 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
No. I already did. Even as a joke, assuming that I am stupid and in need of help is offensive. I consider unwanted help to be a type of rape, and we never joke about raping people.
I understand what you are saying completely. I imigrated to this town (New Orleans) in 2012. I have had many people try and help me. Black folks will try and help more than anybody and some of them are the biggest help. Some of them will also try to take advantage and get anything they can for free. If somebody is trying to use you, don't give them nothing

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#12 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
The fictional version of me is covered with spots. Just don't hit my mad spots.
You do seem rather tense. The docs could hel you with a pill perhaps?

Just trying to be helpful here.

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#13 Jun 5, 2014
bill wrote:
<quoted text>
I understand what you are saying completely. I imigrated to this town (New Orleans) in 2012. I have had many people try and help me. Black folks will try and help more than anybody and some of them are the biggest help. Some of them will also try to take advantage and get anything they can for free. If somebody is trying to use you, don't give them nothing
I hate forced help. I want to travel in public and be ignored. Sure, say hi in passing, but don't try to help nor engage in any other way unless asked. If I drop something, I would hope that others are not paying attention to me in the first place, but staying in their own worlds or that of their family and friends. And I should have the right to struggle alone in front of others without anyone ruining the experience. I plan nearly anything I do in advance. I form a mental image of what I want and expect things to go precisely as I planned, without anyone interfering or changing my plans in any way. For instance, I may set up things to get to struggle alone in front of others, and more often or not. someone is nosy and controlling enough to destroy why I set up.

I do many things in ways that are superior to how others do them, and then others will force the inferior way of doing things on me. Even if my way is inferior, I have my heart set on being allowed to do things my way and for nobody to try to control me by doing ANYTHING for me that I didn't ask for, other than maybe breaking up a fight or getting me medical care. But those are things there is no way in hell of doing for oneself.

I wasn't discussing scammers in particular, but some are icky. I read of a weird hustle. One guy had a container of excrement and threw it at people. Then another would come wipe you off with a towel, and a third would pick your pockets.

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#14 Jun 5, 2014
Dr_Dirty wrote:
<quoted text>
You do seem rather tense. The docs could hel you with a pill perhaps?
Just trying to be helpful here.
Whether I am tense or not is a personal matter, and not the business of STRANGERS over the net.
Ozzie

Concord, CA

#15 Jun 5, 2014
:If you need help bark like a dog:~Gendry

:That's stupid . If i need help I'll shout for help:~Arya

~Oz

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#16 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
Whether I am tense or not is a personal matter, and not the business of STRANGERS over the net.
Sure sure. Here, let me rub your back. That should help ease the tension.
bill

Owensboro, KY

#17 Jun 5, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate forced help. I want to travel in public and be ignored. Sure, say hi in passing, but don't try to help nor engage in any other way unless asked. If I drop something, I would hope that others are not paying attention to me in the first place, but staying in their own worlds or that of their family and friends. And I should have the right to struggle alone in front of others without anyone ruining the experience. I plan nearly anything I do in advance. I form a mental image of what I want and expect things to go precisely as I planned, without anyone interfering or changing my plans in any way. For instance, I may set up things to get to struggle alone in front of others, and more often or not. someone is nosy and controlling enough to destroy why I set up.
I do many things in ways that are superior to how others do them, and then others will force the inferior way of doing things on me. Even if my way is inferior, I have my heart set on being allowed to do things my way and for nobody to try to control me by doing ANYTHING for me that I didn't ask for, other than maybe breaking up a fight or getting me medical care. But those are things there is no way in hell of doing for oneself.
I wasn't discussing scammers in particular, but some are icky. I read of a weird hustle. One guy had a container of excrement and threw it at people. Then another would come wipe you off with a towel, and a third would pick your pockets.
You're never going to get away from Men hitting on you. They also want to help and to protect you? You just have to learn to deal with it and to use it to your adavntage

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#18 Jun 6, 2014
bill wrote:
<quoted text>
You're never going to get away from Men hitting on you. They also want to help and to protect you? You just have to learn to deal with it and to use it to your adavntage
That has nothing to do with what I am speaking of which runs much deeper. To be honest, I was hoping everyone would let the thread drop. I started the original in the Af. Am. forum and it was off my tracker, so I searched. It was not on the list because I was looking in Weird, not Af. Am. But I didn't realize that, so I assumed they deleted it. So I started a replacement and then realize where I put it, and realized I looked in the wrong place. Then I went back there and found the original one.
bill

Owensboro, KY

#19 Jun 6, 2014
Spotted Girl wrote:
Here is a place to discuss incidents of unwanted help, particularly when it crosses ethnic lines. This is intended to be a helpful thread where honest discourse is welcome. It seems that WP are less likely to force unwanted help on others, though plenty do. There has to be a reason for the disparity across ethnic groups.
Since I moved to New Orleans in 2012 I have also found that black people are much more apt to offer their assistance than white people. And they are very persistent sometime. Also with black women sex always comes up. However they have been mostly been nice

“Stop libel and bullying.”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#20 Jun 6, 2014
bill wrote:
<quoted text>
Since I moved to New Orleans in 2012 I have also found that black people are much more apt to offer their assistance than white people. And they are very persistent sometime. Also with black women sex always comes up. However they have been mostly been nice
I don't consider that nice, but nosy people helping others as a way of emotionally controlling others. What if you wanted to struggle alone? What if you wanted to accomplish something solely by your own effort or prove to others you don't need them? What if the whole purpose you do something is to get it done a certain way or to do it alone?

For instance, when I was in maybe 2nd grade, I dropped some papers. I saw how they fell, and I knew my own filing order. I was picking them up alone just fine and another kid came over and picked them up in an inferior way which generated much more work for me, like 15 minutes or so. Most people are too stupid to pick things up precisely as they fell without scrambling them. They didn't give a damn about doing it the right way, just scoring points from some supernatural sky being or feeling good at the expense of others. Had they left me alone for 15-20 more seconds, there would have been NO additional work created in getting things back 100% in the same order they were before they fell.

I don't mind help, but it must ALWAYS be with my permission. Are most parents too stupid to teach their offspring to ASK before helping and to NEVER assume anyone wants it or needs it? Are they too stupid to teach others to ONLY help others in the ways they want and to do things only the way the other person dictates? Are they too stupid to teach that you most be 100% sure they want and need help before helping it? If they don't want it, it is just another type of rape, and if they don't need it, it would be immoral to wasted limited time and effort on someone that doesn't need it when there are many inferior, broken people who do need it. A drunk doesn't need another drink. What they need is taken to a detox center and a treatment center. Enabling bad behavior is wrong and ensures the person will stay broken and constantly in need of help. That brings us to codependency, once known as co-addiction. That is a person who enables and alcoholic or doper in any way, whether directly through supplying it, nor indirectly through b*tching, nagging, griping, and trying to clean up their messes (bailing them out of jail, apologizing for them, pouring out their booze, paying their fines, etc).

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