Humor:Tell A Funny Joke!

Posted in the Weird Forum

“Karmas!”

Since: Feb 10

KarmaVille

#1 Mar 7, 2010
;)

“..vote early..vote often..but”

Since: Jun 08

....re-elect no one.......

#2 Mar 7, 2010
A blonde was getting her hair done, and reading a newspaper (!). The article she was reading stated 2 Brazilian soldiers were killed in the war in Afghanistan.

The blonde thought for a moment, shed a tear, and asked the hairdresser how many soldiers it took to make a brazilian.

“..vote early..vote often..but”

Since: Jun 08

....re-elect no one.......

#3 Mar 7, 2010
What does a blonde say before having sex?

(Using my best 'blonde voice')
"Are you all on the same team"?

“Huntington Beach tough guy”

Since: Feb 09

Anyone scared yet?

#5 Mar 7, 2010
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

“Huntington Beach tough guy”

Since: Feb 09

Anyone scared yet?

#6 Mar 7, 2010
Yo mama is so ugly she walked into a haunted house and came out with an application.

“Smack the Pack”

Since: Sep 09

Oslo,Norway

#7 Mar 7, 2010
Three jungle explorers are captured by a pygmy tribe.
The cheif tells them, "You have trespassed on sacred ground, you will be punished by death or bonga-bonga!"
The first explorer chooses bonga-bonga, even though he has no idea what it entails. Ten pygmies line up to have their way with him.
The second explorer figures it's better than death and also chooses bonga-bonga. Twenty pygmies line up to have their way with him.
The third explorer says, "I'll take death!"

The pygmy cheif shouts "Death it is! Death by bonga-bonga!"
Krypteia

Beckenham, UK

#8 Mar 8, 2010
Airport Customs are holding a muslim who was caught trying to smuggle a joint of cured pork hidden up his backside they suspect he is a member of Hamass.

Level 1

Since: Sep 08

Location hidden

#9 Mar 9, 2010
Mailman rings the doorbell and the lady of the house answers wearing a beautiful sheer nighty. She invites him in, throws him on the bed, and makes mad, passionate love to him, and gives him a dollar bill.

He's stands there bewildered and says "what the hell was that about?". She replies...oh, my husband and I were talking about Christmas gifts and I asked him what to give the mailman. He said "f*** him...give him a buck".
Independent

United States

#10 Jan 15, 2014
I think I saw a mime begging today.
He was just standing there holding a blank piece of cardboard.

“Happiness comes through giving”

Level 7

Since: Feb 08

Location hidden

#11 Jan 15, 2014
Wanna buy an anchor? Right off the boat!
Independent

United States

#12 Jan 18, 2014
I used to have friends once, but the medication has taken them all away.

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