Funny Quotes
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Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#1 Sep 22, 2013
Anybody got one they want to share?

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#2 Sep 22, 2013
Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
David Brent

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#4 Sep 22, 2013
White Fire wrote:
A man's ego is like his penis the more you stroke it the bigger it gets.
Sorry Topix i could not help my self ;)

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#5 Sep 23, 2013
"We're all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.”
-Robert Fulghum

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#6 Sep 23, 2013
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#7 Sep 23, 2013
Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#8 Sep 23, 2013
A flat Tire will occur when you are without a spare.
Corollary:
This will happen after your significant other has reminded you to get one.
Enzo's Axiom:
She will be in the car.

“...him or her...neither one...”

Since: Jun 08

..cares about any of us..none.

#9 Sep 23, 2013
"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

Donald Rumsfeld

...i still don't know if he was just having sport with us....

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#10 Sep 23, 2013
Old Sam wrote:
"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."
Donald Rumsfeld
...i still don't know if he was just having sport with us....
...or quoting a member of congress...

AIias - Trish
Level 5

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#11 Sep 23, 2013
Normal people make me nervous
??

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#12 Sep 24, 2013
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

“...him or her...neither one...”

Since: Jun 08

..cares about any of us..none.

#13 Sep 24, 2013
"When I die, I hope they don't cremate me 'cuz I'll burn forever."

Harry Caray

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#14 Sep 25, 2013
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad

“...him or her...neither one...”

Since: Jun 08

..cares about any of us..none.

#15 Sep 25, 2013
...just 'cause yer paranoid doesn't mean they *aren't* out to getcha......

(don't remember who said that...but i remember laffin'.....)

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#16 Sep 25, 2013
"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

-Greg King

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Fairfield, OH

#17 Sep 26, 2013
"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

Level 8

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#18 Sep 27, 2013
"Mommy, did you eat the baby?"

-A wide-eyed three year old who was staring at her mother's belly (my friend) in amazement

AIias - Trish
Level 5

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#19 Sep 27, 2013
Whatever doesn't make you stronger makes you ... bitter.

Wait! That's not very funny.
:)

AIias - Trish
Level 5

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#20 Sep 27, 2013
You are not drunk if you lie of the floor without holding on.
~Dean Martin

“So it's not you, It's them?”

Level 9

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#21 Sep 27, 2013
"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

George Carlin

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