Funny Quotes

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#1
Sep 22, 2013
 

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Anybody got one they want to share?

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#2
Sep 22, 2013
 

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Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
David Brent

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#4
Sep 22, 2013
 

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White Fire wrote:
A man's ego is like his penis the more you stroke it the bigger it gets.
Sorry Topix i could not help my self ;)

“Fluffy arctic foxes”

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#5
Sep 23, 2013
 

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"We're all a little weird, and life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutual weirdness and call it love.
-Robert Fulghum

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#6
Sep 23, 2013
 
Santa Claus has the right idea: visit people once a year

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#7
Sep 23, 2013
 

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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

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#8
Sep 23, 2013
 
A flat Tire will occur when you are without a spare.
Corollary:
This will happen after your significant other has reminded you to get one.
Enzo's Axiom:
She will be in the car.

“...meet me at the liberry....”

Since: Jun 08

...then we'll go to lunch.....

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#9
Sep 23, 2013
 

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"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

Donald Rumsfeld

...i still don't know if he was just having sport with us....

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#10
Sep 23, 2013
 

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Old Sam wrote:
"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."
Donald Rumsfeld
...i still don't know if he was just having sport with us....
...or quoting a member of congress...

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#11
Sep 23, 2013
 

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Normal people make me nervous
??

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#12
Sep 24, 2013
 
Never do anything that you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.

“...meet me at the liberry....”

Since: Jun 08

...then we'll go to lunch.....

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#13
Sep 24, 2013
 

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"When I die, I hope they don't cremate me 'cuz I'll burn forever."

Harry Caray

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#14
Sep 25, 2013
 
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad

“...meet me at the liberry....”

Since: Jun 08

...then we'll go to lunch.....

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#15
Sep 25, 2013
 
...just 'cause yer paranoid doesn't mean they *aren't* out to getcha......

(don't remember who said that...but i remember laffin'.....)

“Fluffy arctic foxes”

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#16
Sep 25, 2013
 
"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

-Greg King

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#17
Sep 26, 2013
 

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"Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else."

“Fluffy arctic foxes”

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#18
Sep 27, 2013
 

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"Mommy, did you eat the baby?"

-A wide-eyed three year old who was staring at her mother's belly (my friend) in amazement

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#19
Sep 27, 2013
 

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Whatever doesn't make you stronger makes you ... bitter.

Wait! That's not very funny.
:)

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#20
Sep 27, 2013
 

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You are not drunk if you lie of the floor without holding on.
~Dean Martin

“So it's not you, It's them?”

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#21
Sep 27, 2013
 

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"Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

George Carlin

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