JUST SAY SOMETHING. Whatever comes to...
Krypteia

Belfast, UK

#26287 May 9, 2013
My wife said to me why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?, I said"if they fell forwards they'd still be in the fecking boat".

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26289 May 9, 2013
Things My Mom Never Said....

Things Mom Would Never Say

How on earth can you see the TV sitting that far back?

Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too.

Just leave all the lights on. It makes the place look more cheerful.

Let me smell that shirt... Yeah, it's good for a couple of more days.

Of course you can keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed him and walk him every day.

Well, if Tommy's mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me.

Curfew is just a general time to shoot for. I mean, it's not like I'm running a prison here.

I don't have a tissue, honey. Just use your sleeve.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26291 May 9, 2013
A very old poem..........

When my prayers were poorly said
Who tucked me in my widdle bed
And spanked me butt 'til it was red?

.......Me Mudder!

In the morning when the lights would come
And in my crib I dribbled some
Who wiped my tiny wittle bun?

.......Me Mudder!

Who took me from my cozy cot
And placed me on an ice cold pot
And made me pee when I could not?

.......Me Mudder!

Who's hair so gently she would part
And hold me tightly to her heart
And sometimes squeeze me til I'd fart?

.......Me Mudder!

Who looked at me with eyebrows drooped
And screamed and yelled 'til she had the croup
when in my Sunday pants I pooped?

.......Me Mudder!

And at night when the bed did squeak
And me raised me head to have a peek
Who yelled at me to go to sleep?

.......Me Fadder!!!!!

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26292 May 9, 2013
Last year I got my wife a Mother's Day gift that left her speechless.

Matter of fact, she didn't speak to me for a week.

Since: Feb 13

Step Into My Realm

#26293 May 9, 2013
Krypteia wrote:
My wife said to me why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?, I said"if they fell forwards they'd still be in the fecking boat".
:)

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26295 May 9, 2013
Alex Jones is mentally ill.
He can't get enough of himself......between breaks he does a voice sick presentation as if he is on a commercial intro.
Reminds me of someone who yes has alot of intell.....but shakes the listeners down for all the change in their pockets by holding them upside down and shaking them by the pantlegs.

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26296 May 9, 2013
A cointelpro 'medicine man' bafoon..........who when you listen to Alex Jones...uses " I' "I' so often .." I said this////////// I told you this!"
Diminishes everyone elese "I' to meaningless. YOu don;'t count because Alex Jones already told you this was going to happen.

I' I'I' I said..........like a broken record of
self-aggrandisement
your only hope is to listen to what i already have said. LOL

your only way out of this.........is to buy this and that..........yada yada..

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26297 May 9, 2013
and how the motor mouth of self bloviation so readily steps on all the conversations his appointed guests are making who come on his show......is beyond rude and uncooth.
There they are, even call in guests.....and here comes the pork bellied barbeque eating blabber mouth thinking he is entertaining 'stepping all over' their conversations.

This is one errant talk show host who has NO CLASS...no matter how informative his information is.

“Whip it, whip it good”

Level 8

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#26298 May 10, 2013
Do you ever read a news story and wonder if the person you're reading about is on Topix? That you "know" them? Ever check out the topix to see if your suspect (ha~ha) is mip?( Missing in posting) That would be offbeat news worthy. ;)

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26299 May 10, 2013
Let's all take just a second to remember all those people who are stuck in traffic while on their way to the gym to ride a stationary bicycle.

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#26300 May 10, 2013
These place of business drives me crazy.They want your business but yet they make you go back and forth,inside and outside to get all you want..Like gas today..and on top of that when they click the pump on it automatic gives them 6-11 cents.What a rip off.I always get my gas there and they know I always pay..I told them I guess I'll have to find me another place to get my gas.They get 100+ off me weekly(gas) not counting for the other things we buy there like cigs..close to 50 for a cartoon.Don't want my business,that's fine! There is always someone else out there that will be glad to get my business..Not the first time and sure not the last..

“On the brightest of day”

Level 6

Since: Jan 13

"On the blackest of night"

#26301 May 10, 2013
I'm thinking, hey, I'm in 52nd place! Now who thinks they're going to take it away from me??:-D
Krypteia

Belfast, UK

#26302 May 10, 2013
Bollocks just realised it's 02 hundred hours,how many other retards are still up like me,Christ I'm a sad arse..

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26303 May 10, 2013
I sent an email to that Turkey Alex Jones........he said..." people around here have a hard time to belive in that sort of thing." lol

you best belive broder....3's and 7's are sacred numbers in all the worlds religions.

perhaps his belief system needs adjusting.

August 28th in a New Orleans Parish Prison a young man was sucker punched in a tier of 38 black crack heads mostly from the 9th ward.
and three years later to the date?
KATRINA.

322.......ya know that skull and bones number? March the 3rd month and 22nd day in 1986 this even younger man ( lol) was struck down on Richmond ave in Houston Texas while walking by a 70 mph Porsche 928 then transfered 2 days later to the NASA hospital in Webster Texas..........St Johns.where oh they had fun with him.
What is houston? Home of Exxon? Yes it is. And what on March 24th 3 yrs later happened?
Exxon Valdese.

and? It ain't over...not by a long shot as they say. This is quite interesting. To a 'fundamentalist' street preaching belicose pontificator....they' find those things hard to belive."

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#26304 May 10, 2013
dayum.......... did I not allow my research in the
6s before my both research and book are released?

yes. I have.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26305 May 11, 2013
Anyone else out there stand naked at the shower with one hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26306 May 11, 2013
I hope everyone has a great "Give Your Children Money To Buy Something For Your Wife" day!

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26307 May 11, 2013
"Ask not what your mother can do for you... ask what you can do for your mother."
(with a tip of the hat to John F. Kennedy)
Krypteia

Belfast, UK

#26308 May 11, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
Anyone else out there stand naked at the shower with one hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm?
No!,I get my wife to stand under it,I wouldn't want to get my arm cold..

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#26309 May 11, 2013
Mother's Day... remember, the idea is to spend time with mom, not with people on Topix.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
CHANGE One letter CHANCE (Sep '08) 3 min andet1987 36,506
True False Game (Jun '11) 5 min andet1987 14,554
Poll What are you thinking right now? (May '08) 7 min Lifelover 3,735
Name songs NOT to sing in prison (Mar '14) 7 min Jennifer T 220
Word Association (Mar '10) 9 min Lifelover 22,090
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 9 min wichita-rick 215,256
El's Kitchen (Feb '09) 10 min Crispy Weasel 74,275
What Is Your DREAM JOB? 16 min Lifelover 34
A to Z songs by title or group! 39 min wichita-rick 1,559
More from around the web