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#25321
Feb 21, 2013
 

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Incredable.

Alan Watt.......out of Canada and Scot born investigative journalist..author ..musician who has a radio show for merely one hour at 8pm eastern standard time on

http://republicbroadcasting.org/index.php...

has the links
has the research
a master on the topic of where we are going and how long this has been going on.

AMAZING...articulate....and poignant.

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#25322
Feb 21, 2013
 

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lol...when I listen to alan watt...i have my pen and paper before me.

Since: Feb 10

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#25323
Feb 21, 2013
 

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Always Wary wrote:
<quoted text>
I like the jokes, any humor on here is good thing.
Why is a Goldfish orange in color?

Does living in water make it rust?

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Since: Jul 11

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#25324
Feb 21, 2013
 

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I thank God for the way things turned out from my test.
I want to thank everyone who stood by me and helped me through my test.That's what I call friends.
Luv ya'll...HUGS
Level 9

Since: May 12

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#25325
Feb 21, 2013
 

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honeymylove wrote:
I thank God for the way things turned out from my test.
I want to thank everyone who stood by me and helped me through my test.That's what I call friends.
Luv ya'll...HUGS

I'm so glad that Everything turned out good for YOU....

I am hoarse from the game last night and its driving me crazy I can't talk... Grrrrrr.....

Level 8

Since: Sep 08

I See A Rainbow!

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#25326
Feb 21, 2013
 

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ms_Sweeter wrote:
What comes around, goes around....
Karma is a Biotch....
~giggling softly~
Hi Ms.Sweeter..How have you been?? I certainly will agree with your comment... There has to be a Better way..........

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Since: Sep 08

I See A Rainbow!

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#25327
Feb 21, 2013
 

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honeymylove wrote:
I thank God for the way things turned out from my test.
I want to thank everyone who stood by me and helped me through my test.That's what I call friends.
Luv ya'll...HUGS
Hi HoneyMyLove.. You have been in my daily Prayers.. my thoughts have been with you,, You also have a friend/sister in me,,,
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Since: May 12

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#25328
Feb 21, 2013
 

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Lifelover wrote:
<quoted text> Hi Ms.Sweeter..How have you been?? I certainly will agree with your comment... There has to be a Better way..........
Live Life Like Theres No Tomorrow!

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Since: Jul 11

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#25329
Feb 21, 2013
 

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ms_Sweeter wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm so glad that Everything turned out good for YOU....
I am hoarse from the game last night and its driving me crazy I can't talk... Grrrrrr.....
Thank you..Upon been release to go home I did a little victory dance..the nurse looked at me as if I was crazy..

I'm sorry you're not feeling well..I hope you feel better soon.
Keeping you in prayers.

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#25330
Feb 21, 2013
 

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Lifelover wrote:
<quoted text> Hi HoneyMyLove.. You have been in my daily Prayers.. my thoughts have been with you,, You also have a friend/sister in me,,,
Thank you LL...We can never get enough prayers...My thoughts are with you...

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Since: Sep 08

I See A Rainbow!

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#25331
Feb 21, 2013
 

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ms_Sweeter wrote:
<quoted text>
Live Life Like Theres No Tomorrow!
Believe me.. I do this,,, With the situation and all.. I have to say.. Most people take their life for granted.. They just exist.. Not thinking about tomorrow.. I have had a major reality check..and Its for my own good.. A wake up call... Great to my friends around..

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#25332
Feb 21, 2013
 

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I'm thinking maybe I need to move on..
Krypteia

Worthing, UK

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#25333
Feb 22, 2013
 

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Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
I ain't too proud to admit that, sadly, none of mine are original... but they make me laff and I want to share that feeling.
Everyone from comedians to whoever has used other people's material at some point mixed in with their own,and like you say you find something funny you want to share it,unfortunately you always get a complete knob that has to make a stupid comment,but of cause that prat would have never had said anything funny to anyone because he would not ever use anyone else's jokes and so on.
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#25334
Feb 22, 2013
 

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Krypteia wrote:
<quoted text>Everyone from comedians to whoever has used other people's material at some point mixed in with their own,and like you say you find something funny you want to share it,unfortunately you always get a complete knob that has to make a stupid comment,but of cause that prat would have never had said anything funny to anyone because he would not ever use anyone else's jokes and so on.
When you use ideas, facts, jokes, even opinions that are not your own -- even when you don't use the author's exact words -- you must give appropriate credit to the author as you incorporate his or her ideas into your dubious posts here.

Krapateia, if you don't do so, you're committing plagiarism, one of the most serious offenses in academe. Virtually every decent person I know has an honor code that prohibits plagiarism, and consequences range from failing the truth test or submitting to a poly-graph in which if found guilty you would be expelled from Topix completely.

Plagiarism sometimes results from simple carelessness -- overlooking instances in which you should credit the originator of an idea, quote, stolen joke or phrase that's not yours, for example. More insidious -- and more tempting to some people -- is downloading and/or purchasing material you didn't write and trying to pass it off as your own. Unscrupulous people like you will sometimes paste whole chunks of material here on Offbeat and deliberately fail to credit the source.

Or they will submit an entire stolen joke or funny article downloaded or purchased from one of the plethora of "gob-shites" on the Internet. Plagiarism is not only cheating but is probably the most heinous kind of cheating in the literary world.

If you fall into the unscrupulous category, you're probably not reading this article unless you're looking for ideas to get away with it.

If that's you,(and you've confirmed that IT IS) only one piece of advice applies: Don't plagiarize because you will probably get caught. Authors can easily recognize writing that does not read like that of their original work.

I am quite aware that you and your "kind" are not smart enough to know that there is also increasing sophisticated software and Websites that can detect plagiarism. Penalties for plagiarism, as mentioned, are severe.

The more likely readers of my article above, are those worried about inadvertently plagiarizing.
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#25335
Feb 22, 2013
 

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In a particular small country, there was a king.

He was much beloved of the people, and so they built for him a castle.

But they were poor people and could only afford to build it out of grass.

So they worked for weeks, and finally completed a lovely woven grass castle for him.

And the king was pleased.

Another country, significantly richer than the first, presented a peace offering of an ornate throne.

The king accepted this gift graciously and was most pleased.

The only trouble was, the throne was very uncomfortable.

So the king got himself a more comfortable chair and kept the massive throne in the attic.

Naturally, it fell through the floor and killed him.
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The moral of this story:

People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

~Starbuck DeVine
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#25336
Feb 22, 2013
 
There was a little boy by the name of Billy. Billy was an ordinary little boy who did ordinary little boy things, like playing, eating, bathing, destroying things, and going to school. One day, when Billy went down to the bus stop to meet the bus to go to school, he found all of his friends huddled around in a little group, talking about the Purple Wombat.

Being a little boy, Billy was curious. So he asked them, "What's the Purple Wombat?"

"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the children exclaimed disgustedly. For the rest of the morning, they would not go near Billy, always standing far away and staring at him. Then the bus came. Billy, confused, got on the bus along with the rest of the children.

"Hey, Mister Bus Driver!" one of the chldren shouted. "Billy doesn't know what the Purple Wombat is!"

The bus driver turned around abruptly. "You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" he said in disbelief. He ordered Billy to sit in the very back of the bus, all by himself.

Eventually, they got to school, and Billy got off the bus and went to class. Class proceeded normally; the students did the pledge of allegiance and worked on their multiplication tables for a while. Then the teacher led them into a unit on geography. Billy was not really paying attention, but he heard the teacher mention something about the Purple Wombat.

Billy's hand shot up, and, when the teacher called on him, Billy asked, "Teacher, what's the Purple Wombat?"

"You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?" the teacher cried in alarm, "Get yourself to the principal's office right now, young man. No, no buts -- march!"

So Billy headed down the long, dark, frightening hallway to the principal's office. He slowly opened the large, heavy door, and timidly entered the room behind it. There, at a large, imposing desk, sat the principal. The principal was a hulking man, balding, with a thin mustache. He spoke in a deep baritone voice. He was enough to frighten little boys like Billy who had been sent to his office almost to tears.

"Well, Billy," he began slowly. "What seems to be the problem?"

"Mr. Principal, I just don't know what's going on today. Everyone's been acting weird, and they're all treating me really badly. Like teacher just sent me to you and stuff."

"Now, Billy, I'm here to help you. I'm the princi-Pal, after all. Heh heh. Can you tell me why everyone's acting so strangely?"

"It's because I don't know what some stupid Purple Wombat is."

"What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is? That's it. I am calling your mother, young man. Consider yourself suspended."

The principal threw Billy out of his office and told him to go home. Billy, crying, began the long walk home. When he got there, his mother was standing in the doorway waiting for him.

"Billy!" she called, sobbing, "I was so worried about you! What happened?"

"Mom," Billy cried, "Everyone was being mean to me and I had to sit in the back of the bus all by myself and the teacher sent me to the principal's office and the principal suspended me, all because I don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"

(More below......)
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#25337
Feb 22, 2013
 

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........What? You don't know what the Purple Wombat is?"

Billy's mother shrieked. "Go to your room this minute. Go! Just wait until your father gets home!"

So Billy marched up the stairs and into his room. He collapsed on the bed, crying. After some amount of time, he heard a car pull in and some doors shutting. His father was home. He could hear his parents talking downstairs but didn't know what they were saying. Then he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and his door opened.

"Billy," his father began in that lecturing-father tone, "Your mother says you've been acting badly lately. Would you like to tell me what you've done?"

"Dad, I haven't done anything! I just don't know what the Purple Wombat is!"

"You...don't know what the Purple Wombat is. Well, in that case, you can just stay in this room all night, mister. And forget about dinner!"

Billy's father slammed the door and stormed off. Billy collapsed on his bed, crying his eyes out. He spent the next several hours that way -- lying there, crying, wishing he would wake up.

Then, in the middle of the night, he heard a voice. It said: "Billy. I am the Purple Wombat, Billy."

Billy sat up with a start. He looked around the room, trying to find the source of the voice, but he could not.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Find me, Billy."

It was coming from out the window. So Billy got up, put his shoes on, opened the window, and climbed out on to the roof.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat."

Billy jumped down off the roof and followed the voice down the road. He got to the edge of a wood.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Follow me, Billy."

The voice was coming from inside the wood. It was very dark and very frightening, but Billy didn't care. He had to find out what the Purple Wombat was. So, bravely, he entered the wood.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Keep going, Billy."

Billy kept going into the wood. He could hardly see anything, and he kept falling down and walking into things and hurting himself. But he kept going, driven by a need to find this enigma that kept calling his name.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. This way, Billy."

Eventually, Billy emerged from the wood. He was on the shore of the town lake.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. I'm out here, Billy."

It was coming from out across the lake. Billy got one of the small rowboats from the dock, untied it, and rowed out. Since he was only a small boy, it was very difficult. But he had to find out what the Purple Wombat was.

"Billy. I am the Purple Wombat. Row, Billy."

The voice was coming from across the lake. Billy doubled his effort, and the boat began to move a little faster. When he was about half way across the lake, he heard: "Billy, I am the Purple Wombat. I'm up here, Billy."

It was coming from directly above him. Billy stopped rowing and stood up to look for it. The boat tipped over, dumping him in the lake. Billy didn't know how to swim, so he drowned.
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Moral of this story: Don't stand up in a boat.

~Starbuck DeVine.
Krypteia

Worthing, UK

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#25338
Feb 22, 2013
 
PROFILE DeVINE wrote:
<quoted text>
When you use ideas, facts, jokes, even opinions that are not your own -- even when you don't use the author's exact words -- you must give appropriate credit to the author as you incorporate his or her ideas into your dubious posts here.
Krapateia, if you don't do so, you're committing plagiarism, one of the most serious offenses in academe. Virtually every decent person I know has an honor code that prohibits plagiarism, and consequences range from failing the truth test or submitting to a poly-graph in which if found guilty you would be expelled from Topix completely.
Plagiarism sometimes results from simple carelessness -- overlooking instances in which you should credit the originator of an idea, quote, stolen joke or phrase that's not yours, for example. More insidious -- and more tempting to some people -- is downloading and/or purchasing material you didn't write and trying to pass it off as your own. Unscrupulous people like you will sometimes paste whole chunks of material here on Offbeat and deliberately fail to credit the source.
Or they will submit an entire stolen joke or funny article downloaded or purchased from one of the plethora of "gob-shites" on the Internet. Plagiarism is not only cheating but is probably the most heinous kind of cheating in the literary world.
If you fall into the unscrupulous category, you're probably not reading this article unless you're looking for ideas to get away with it.
If that's you,(and you've confirmed that IT IS) only one piece of advice applies: Don't plagiarize because you will probably get caught. Authors can easily recognize writing that does not read like that of their original work.
I am quite aware that you and your "kind" are not smart enough to know that there is also increasing sophisticated software and Websites that can detect plagiarism. Penalties for plagiarism, as mentioned, are severe.
The more likely readers of my article above, are those worried about inadvertently plagiarizing.
Well that's me and my kind Mr Thicky then,I know hundreds of jokes and one liners who knows where they come from and I couldn't careless I certainly don't troll for them or troll people with a superior attitude either..
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#25339
Feb 22, 2013
 
Krypteia wrote:
<quoted text>Well that's me and my kind Mr Thicky then,I know hundreds of jokes and one liners who knows where they come from and I couldn't careless I certainly don't troll for them or troll people with a superior attitude either..
Tell all the truth but tell it slant,
Success in circuit lies,
Too bright for our infirm delight
The truth's superb surprise;

As lightning to the children eased
With explanation kind,
The truth must dazzle gradually
Or every man be blind.
&#8213; Emily Dickinson,

Since: Jul 09

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#25340
Feb 22, 2013
 

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Krypteia wrote:
<quoted text>Well that's me and my kind Mr Thicky then,I know hundreds of jokes and one liners who knows where they come from and I couldn't careless I certainly don't troll for them or troll people with a superior attitude either..
Well Krypt, I find your stuff funny and have repeated it to co-workers who also find it funny.

Please don't file a lawsuit against me through Devine Attorney and Associates.

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