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22,781 - 22,800 of 28,364 Comments Last updated 33 min ago

“Crown Of Life”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Smile and Shine..

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#24249
Dec 6, 2012
 

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Bad things in life open your eyes to the good things you were not paying attention to before.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Brooklyn, NY

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#24250
Dec 6, 2012
 

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...the only perfect sight is hindsight...
Murphy's Law

“Gone in 16 seconds”

Level 6

Since: Nov 10

Santa Barbara, CA

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#24251
Dec 6, 2012
 

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This one time my cousin Walt got this cat stuck in his azz. True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my family and all. But the next week he did it again. Different cat, same result, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So i run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying ANOTHER cat. I said to him "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your azz too, why don't you just knock it off?" And he said to me, "Josh, how the hell else am i supposed to get the gerbil out?"

My cousin was a weird guy.....

Level 2

Since: Apr 11

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#24252
Dec 6, 2012
 

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Merry Christmas to all.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Brooklyn, NY

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#24253
Dec 6, 2012
 

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Dust N Bones wrote:
This one time my cousin Walt got this cat stuck in his azz. True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my family and all. But the next week he did it again. Different cat, same result, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So i run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying ANOTHER cat. I said to him "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your azz too, why don't you just knock it off?" And he said to me, "Josh, how the hell else am i supposed to get the gerbil out?"
My cousin was a weird guy.....
Murphy's Original Law:
If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it.
Corally:
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Conclusion:
Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
Your woman no more

San Diego, CA

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#24254
Dec 7, 2012
 

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You sent an email asking how I wanted to celebrate my special day. I answered give me some suggestions. You replied send me your phone number because you do not answer the phone.
I realize you do not care to celebrate anything for me. You only want to jack off while looking at my pictures and talking to me on the phone.
Sure it would be a bonus if you could get to see me in person. That would lead to a cheap room where again you could satisfy your desire and use me .
I want more.
And you don't have it to give.
Piss off.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#24255
Dec 7, 2012
 

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I hear they're bringing out a new Barbie doll called "Internet Barbie," but it's really just a fat guy doll.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#24256
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Fleece on Earth good wool to ewe.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#24257
Dec 7, 2012
 
I read where troops in Afghanistan got a surprise visit from Santa.

I don't know about you guys, but if I were a guy in Afghanistan with a beard and a big bag, I sure wouldn't be sneaking up on armed soldiers.

“Crown Of Life”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Smile and Shine..

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#24258
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Hope everyone has a great day today..You woke up to another day so you are already blessed..:O)

Level 8

Since: Jun 08

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#24259
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Dust N Bones wrote:
This one time my cousin Walt got this cat stuck in his azz. True story. He bought it at our local mall so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my family and all. But the next week he did it again. Different cat, same result, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So i run into him a week later at the mall and he's buying ANOTHER cat. I said to him "Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck in your azz too, why don't you just knock it off?" And he said to me, "Josh, how the hell else am i supposed to get the gerbil out?"
My cousin was a weird guy.....
lol......

thanks i needed that....
Level 6

Since: Jan 12

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#24260
Dec 7, 2012
 

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People are so touchy!
Taffy

Dallas, TX

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#24261
Dec 7, 2012
 

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It's 76 degrees today here in Dallas, but Sunday night we drop to 26 degrees. Anyone else have such crazy weather?
Jack

Reading, PA

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#24263
Dec 7, 2012
 

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I'm glad to be healthy and alive.
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#24264
Dec 7, 2012
 

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I have learned...
That trust is a powerful thing
You have no idea what it may bring
It can sting your heart
and tear apart your soul
Or it can warm your heart
and enlighten your soul

I have learned...
That trust is hard to discover
It is buried deep down under
People say it is east to gain trust
I agree with them in a way
For them I have lost all trust
I have decided to go my own way

I have learned...
That trust means to lust
and lust is a must
Sometimes it can be an illusion
but it is something you can not deny
Therefore I have come to this conclusion
Trust everyone, but not the devil inside

Since: Aug 09

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#24265
Dec 7, 2012
 

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I Have Learned

By Asley Marshall

I have learned...
That trust is hard to discover
It is buried deep down under
People say it is east to gain trust
I agree with them in a way
For them i have lost all trust
I have decided to go my own way

I have learned...
That trust means to lust
And lust is a must
Sometimes it can be an illusion
but it is something youbcan not deny
Therefore i have come to this conclusion
Trust everyone, but not the devil inside.
Share!

http://www.poetry.com/poets/90890-Ashley%20Ma...

“Crown Of Life”

Level 9

Since: Mar 12

Smile and Shine..

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#24266
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Trust isnt given its earned!!!
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#24267
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Laura Beth wrote:
I Have Learned
By Asley Marshall
I have learned...
That trust is hard to discover
It is buried deep down under
People say it is east to gain trust
I agree with them in a way
For them i have lost all trust
I have decided to go my own way
I have learned...
That trust means to lust
And lust is a must
Sometimes it can be an illusion
but it is something youbcan not deny
Therefore i have come to this conclusion
Trust everyone, but not the devil inside.
Share!
http://www.poetry.com/poets/90890-Ashley%20Ma...
Hey....YOU COPIED THAT from Me !!

I often went in search of love-
but i did not find it.
i went in search of a dream-
but i wake up too soon.
i then went in search of a shining star-
but i couldn't reach it.
i soon begin to search for hope-
but i couldn't swim that fast so it floated away.
i then choose to search for life-
but i found only despair.
i wanted to search for happiness-
but i wouldn't bring myself to hate
so i found only sorrow.
i tried to search for a heart-
but it turned to stone.
i wondered if i should search for my soul-
but i found only emptiness.
i tried to search for the truth-
but i found nothing but lies and hurt.
so finally i decided not to search anymore
and that's when i found everything
i was in search for, in you.
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#24268
Dec 7, 2012
 

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Seasons are turning into sketches of gray
Still life reflections shadow everything I say
Three dimensional objects leading the way
Into vanishing points, where I oft times play

~~~~~~~~~~

Images and ideas move across a white page
A dabble in pastels become the latest rage
Sketching the characters on a charcoal stage
Life takes on form from age to age

~~~~~~~~~~

Figures become lovers; pencil an embrace
Circles become life; a father's kind face
Imaginations amid reality, both share a space
Lines taking shape, perspectives interlace

~~~~~~~~~~

Abstract quietude; a long stemmed rose
Silence is erased; the candlelight glows
Butterflies and bunnies; color filled o's
Colored pencil memories; the pen in repose
Anonymous

Brisbane, Australia

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#24270
Dec 7, 2012
 

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As night descends,
I sit under the light of the moon.
A face circles inside twilight's greeting.
Words whisper as they are swept away
into the silken waterfall of illusion.
A pause in the gap of time
becomes nostalgic dust.

Below, the dark night pond
will immerse every phrase letter
by letter as they fall away into the unknown.
The wind is compassionate
as I drift to the tip of the earth
to observe their meaning.
It whispers of tomorrow's kiss.

Life is not a book but a performance.
Dreams are glamorous realities
filled with gossamer thoughts.
Wishes dance inside our minds
as reality becomes
the braided channel of life
that runs deep inside our veins.
Embrace each moment that you dare to dream.

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