Things Dracula Would Never Say
alucarD

Indianapolis, IN

#538 Dec 26, 2012
"Gotta hit the coffin early tonight! Big day tomorrow, and I am getting up at the crack of dawn!"

flbadcatowner

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#539 Dec 27, 2012
I am thankful for every fangful.
Taffy

North Richland Hills, TX

#540 Dec 27, 2012
That suxs!
Taffy

North Richland Hills, TX

#541 Dec 27, 2012
Come on y'all, time for Church!!
lone wolf

Mesquite, NV

#542 Dec 27, 2012
Pizz in my mouth.
lone wolf

Mesquite, NV

#543 Dec 27, 2012
alucarD wrote:
"Gotta hit the coffin early tonight! Big day tomorrow, and I am getting up at the crack of dawn!"
THAT is exactly what he in fact WOULD say.

“Ok, maybe I know a little bit.”

Level 1

Since: Sep 12

But I don't know that.

#544 Dec 27, 2012
I will have the garlic chicken lunch special.

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

Location hidden

#545 Dec 27, 2012
'Yuck! I'd never touch a Bloody Mary.'

flbadcatowner

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#546 Dec 27, 2012
Do you know what a vampire's life is like? Well I'll tell you. It sucks!

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#547 Dec 28, 2012
I alvays have such trouble with the ladies. Perhaps I should use Axe body spray and drink Coors Light.

flbadcatowner

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#548 Dec 28, 2012
Van Helsing looks like he is out for blood...Hey, that's my department!

“Right click Left click Yay!”

Level 7

Since: Dec 10

Nehwon

#549 Dec 28, 2012
[Dracula]- Where's my accountant? Joel! Come here!
[Joel]- Yes, Master?
[Dracula]- How many people have I bitten and made my minion this year?
[Joel]- about 50, m'lord.
[Dracula]- Would they be considered employees?
[Joel]- Ahh. I'm afraid so, m'lord. The War of Northern Aggression forced us to reclassify them.
[Dracula]- I see. So I may have to provide healthcare to them in the coming years?
[Joel]- yes, m'lord. please don't kill me.
[Dracula]- I won't kill you yet. I want you to suffer some more. So how can I get around this Obamacare thing?
[Joel]- M'Lord, you could make them part time vampires. Limit their bloodsucking to under 30 hours a week. But you'll need to bite some more people to make up the labor shortfall.
[Dracula]- I like that idea, Joel. Will that allow me to thwart Obama and still make my blood obligation to the Koch brothers?
[Joel]- Yes, master.
[Dracula]- Excellent! I get more minions, pay my tributes and snub my nose at Obama! Back to the enhanced interrogation chamber, Joel.
[Joel]- Thank you, M'Lord. Will you be using holy water this time?
[Dracula]- No. You get a couple of hours off from the holy water.
[Joel] Thank you, Master! At least I still have a job!

flbadcatowner

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#550 Dec 28, 2012
Stop calling those politicians bloodsuckers as they are rank amateurs at the practice compared to me.

I Am Enzo - The Baker

“Vintage 1949”

Level 9

Since: Feb 12

lightly salted

#551 Dec 28, 2012
Guess who's coming to dinner?

flbadcatowner

“I call it as I see it.”

Level 8

Since: Jul 09

Retirement City

#552 Dec 31, 2012
Happy Horrordays!
Taffy

North Richland Hills, TX

#553 Dec 31, 2012
Pass, that blood is tainted

“Right to Bear Puns”

Level 3

Since: Apr 11

Location hidden

#554 Jan 4, 2013
I hate it when my victims are anemic.

“Ridin' The Devils Little Horse”

Since: Mar 08

Straight To Hells Door

#555 Jan 4, 2013
Break Me Off A Piece Of That KitKat Bar....
@}-'--,---

“Just Call It Marriage Now”

Level 8

Since: Sep 08

All rights For All!

#556 Jan 4, 2013
I want a girl I can take home to mamma.

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#557 Jan 4, 2013
Your not my (blood) type!

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