Come on...Tell me a joke

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7273 Mar 13, 2014
joke wrote:
Bubba: "If you woke up in the woods with your pants around your ankles, and your ass lubed up, would you tell anyone?"
Randy: no
Bubba: "Let's go camping!"
Is Bubba a scoutmaster?
and angel said to him

Castroville, TX

#7274 Mar 13, 2014
no bubbas an old man that used to run a bait shop down in magnolia beach baby

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7275 Mar 13, 2014
and angel said to him wrote:
no bubbas an old man that used to run a bait shop down in magnolia beach baby
A bait shop? Was he very good at it? Then he would be a master baiter.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#7278 Mar 14, 2014
Puff the Magic Dragon was recently seen in Colorado...
joke

Owensboro, KY

#7279 Mar 14, 2014
Naughtyrobot wrote:
Puff the Magic Dragon was recently seen in Colorado...
What does a gay robot call his butt hole?

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7280 Mar 14, 2014
joke wrote:
<quoted text>
What does a gay robot call his butt hole?
Wouldn't that be a bolt-hole?
Mechanic

Natchitoches, LA

#7281 Mar 14, 2014
Did you hear about the Bolt, the Nut and the Screw that walked into the bar together for a drink???

Me neither!!

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#7282 Mar 14, 2014
Little Johnny and little Jane decide they are bored. So Jane says "lets go to the store" Little Johnny asks "why, what can we do there?" Jane replies "we can buy tampons and then we can go fishing, hiking, swimming!" I know kinda lame

Level 8

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#7283 Mar 14, 2014
A new widow, upon learning that her late husband had been dressed in a black suit for burial, told the funeral director she wanted a blue suit instead; it was his favorite color and she would pay extra for the change. On the day of the funeral, there was her husband in his coffin with a form-fitting blue suit. Afterwards, she asked the undertaker about the extra charge. He replied,“No charge. Glad to do it for you! You see, the same day you asked me about that, another man’s body arrived, wearing a beautiful blue suit. I asked his widow, and she wasn’t particular about the suit. So I switched the heads.”

Level 8

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#7284 Mar 14, 2014
A man’s wife goes missing in the bayou of Louisiana. After a full day of searching, the sheriff finally comes to the man’s front door.

“We have bad news and good news, sir,” begins the sheriff.“We found your wife drowned in the swamp. When we pulled her up out of the water, she was covered with crabs.”

“What’s the good news?”

“We’re pulling her up again at 4:00.”

Level 8

Since: Feb 13

Location hidden

#7285 Mar 14, 2014
If you’re sky-diving. Neither your primary parachute nor your reserve parachute open. You are 4628 ft. in the air.
How long do you have until you hit the ground?

The rest of your life.
Pale Wild Wood Flower

Castroville, TX

#7286 Mar 14, 2014
that's horrible I hope and pray that the story I just read that miss stress posted isn't true. that's so horrible I am praying for you ma'ham

“The Spotted Girl News Network”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7287 Mar 15, 2014
Mechanic wrote:
Did you hear about the Bolt, the Nut and the Screw that walked into the bar together for a drink???
Me neither!!
They'd rather have kerosene (AKA WD-40) than alcohol.

Oh, hear about the wall that walked into a bar? It got really plastered.
Crazy Cal

Chicago, IL

#7288 Mar 15, 2014
What's white & lives in the middle of a tree?

A sanitary towel
Pale Wild Wood Flower

Castroville, TX

#7289 Mar 15, 2014
a really big owl !duh !
Pale Wild Wood Flower

Castroville, TX

#7290 Mar 15, 2014
alright good night moon sleep tight your a good owl... beautiful and feathers... and she owl has the most beautiful dots on her tan wings. the snow owls are very beautiful also...
Independent

United States

#7291 Mar 15, 2014
One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Johnny standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning Johnny."

"Good morning Pastor," he replied, still focused on the plaque. "Pastor, what is this?"

The pastor said, "Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Johnny's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked,

"Which service, the 8:45 or the 11:00?"

“A Time for laughter and ...”

Level 3

Since: Apr 13

A Time to be candid.

#7292 Mar 15, 2014
My stalker @ IT left you (Independent) a lub note cause they think you are me too. IT's nutz in a world of its own creation!! psgetit? Yesterday my tracker didn't record where I'd been .. does yours work?

What black and white and read all over? The newspaper.
Pale Wild Wood Flower

Castroville, TX

#7293 Mar 15, 2014
hmmm ... a priest a rabbi and a turkey go into a bar one night.... the bartender said what can I do for you.... they all said can I please just get a nice tall glass of water?... the tender said 'that's it?" they all replied yes because we don't drink and we just drive. all because we have lost so many friends and been to way too many funerals . all we do is pray ever effin day.\

hey everybody don't drink and drive stay alive !
Independent

United States

#7294 Mar 15, 2014
Tehee Candor wrote:
Yesterday my tracker didn't record where I'd been .. does yours work?
Haven't noticed any problems with the tracker.
Tehee Candor wrote:
What's black and white and read all over?
A zebra with a sun burn?

**********

On a plane bound for New York, the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to the economy section since she didn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replied,“I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak to her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied,“I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to New York and I'm not moving.” The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said,“I'm married to a blonde and I know how to handle this.”

He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the economy section, mumbling to herself,“Why didn't anyone just say so?”

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked the captain what he said to her.

The captain replied,“I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York.”

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