Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7251 Mar 9, 2014
I hate it when my computer crashes for no apparent [corruptfilefound:women+hugebo obs+sex+dwarves] reason.

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#7252 Mar 9, 2014
Hoof Arted wrote:
I hate it when my computer crashes for no apparent [corruptfilefound:women+hugebo obs+sex+dwarves] reason.
Welcome back Hoofy! About time you come back to make us laugh.
Independent

United States

#7253 Mar 9, 2014
A little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. The farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here, and I bet you didn't even notice!"

The doctor says, "I see. Take these pills and come back next week."

The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts - although still silent - stink terribly."

The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing..."

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7254 Mar 10, 2014
Brandiiiiiiii wrote:
<quoted text>
Welcome back Hoofy! About time you come back to make us laugh.
Thanks. You're too kind.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7255 Mar 10, 2014
I passed a car today with a bumper sticker that read "Jesus is my co-pilot."

As I passed him I noticed that Jesus is a little fat woman with no teeth.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#7256 Mar 10, 2014
Remember Dan Quayle? Here are some memorable Dan Quayle quotes...

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change."

"If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure."

"I love California; I practically grew up in Phoenix."

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice-president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."

"The future will be better tomorrow."

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived
in this century. I didn't live in this century."

"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is."

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has
been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings?
The killers are to blame."

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7257 Mar 10, 2014
I just bought a trampoline but there's absolutely no "bounce" to it.

Plus, the legs are on the wrong side.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#7258 Mar 10, 2014
Hoof Arted wrote:
I just bought a trampoline but there's absolutely no "bounce" to it.
Plus, the legs are on the wrong side.
Oh, so you bought a ground covering.

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#7259 Mar 10, 2014
What do you get when you have 50 lawyers and 50 lesbians in a room?

100 people that don't know dick!

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7260 Mar 11, 2014
Bitter cold here with icy blasts, extremely high winds, flying debris, structural damage, massive depression, communication difficulties, as well as untold mysery and suffering.

I forgot our anniversary.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#7261 Mar 11, 2014
Horse Jockey wrote:
What do you get when you have 50 lawyers and 50 lesbians in a room?
100 people that don't know dick!
I wouldn't be surprised if many of those lawyers were pretty familiar of dick...

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#7262 Mar 11, 2014
Retrieving a letter from the box, I got a paper cut that shaved the hair off my head, now I have mail pattern baldness.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#7263 Mar 13, 2014
Bubba: "If you woke up in the woods with your pants around your ankles, and your ass lubed up, would you tell anyone?"

Randy: no

Bubba: "Let's go camping!"
and angel said to him

Castroville, TX

#7264 Mar 13, 2014
thats nasty anty o, you wanna hear a joke go to devin topix .... and read my life story from when I was fifteen.... you might get a good laugh out of that .... by the way he is my stalker .... its under gop and its like a whole page long.... then after you are done reading it tell me if you laughed or cried.... because I almost died that night.
not

Jackson, MO

#7265 Mar 13, 2014
hickory dickory dock
the mouse ran up my clock
only it wasn't my leg
it was only my sock and that
weren't my clock
Sheeesh

Jackson, MO

#7266 Mar 13, 2014
if it weren't risky or frisky biznz
it were worth trying to get away with
oh no she didn't !! ayup
and angel said to him

Castroville, TX

#7267 Mar 13, 2014
oh yes sir.... I grew up with every single one of them..... YOU ordered gods daughter ! now do you want me or not?
and angel said to him

Castroville, TX

#7268 Mar 13, 2014
He has been stalking me and harassing me FOREVER and I am fed up with it.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#7269 Mar 13, 2014
and angel said to him wrote:
thats nasty anty o, you wanna hear a joke go to devin topix .... and read my life story from when I was fifteen.... you might get a good laugh out of that .... by the way he is my stalker .... its under gop and its like a whole page long.... then after you are done reading it tell me if you laughed or cried.... because I almost died that night.
sure is. yall don't have cops in texas?

http://www.topix.com/forum/city/devine-tx/TQG...
and angel said to him

Castroville, TX

#7270 Mar 13, 2014
nope we got troopers... cuz !:) we got hope

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