Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7102 Dec 13, 2013
JM_Brazil wrote:
<quoted text>
LOL!!
Coastal CT myself.
You been catching the normal hellish Connecticut winter weather where you are?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7103 Dec 13, 2013
The NFL is investigating game fixing on the Cleveland Browns, saying no team can actually be that bad.

“'" Always Thinking '"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#7104 Dec 13, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
If our government were as strictly regulated as the cut off time for breakfast at McDonalds, there would be no problems with our economy.
Ain't it the truth!
Don't ever count on getting a Big Mac before 10 AM.

“'" Always Thinking '"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#7105 Dec 13, 2013
Oops!! I checked with GOOGLE and it's 10:30 AM
If you like wax museums , Zoos, and people watching,
go set in McDonalds until they start serving Big Macs.

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#7106 Dec 13, 2013
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
Oops!! I checked with GOOGLE and it's 10:30 AM
If you like wax museums , Zoos, and people watching,
go set in McDonalds until they start serving Big Macs.
11:00 am on weekends! Lol

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7107 Dec 14, 2013
"Okay dad," my son said. "Show us what you got."
"Two pair," I said, slamming them down on the table.
"Well," he replied, laughing. "I've got three of a kind!"
"That's it!" I yelled. "These socks are going straight back to Wal Mart!"

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7108 Dec 16, 2013
Cleveland Browns Head Coach Rob Chudzinski was stopped for speeding last night, but will not contest the charge, saying he'd take three points from anyone.
Parden Pard

Catasauqua, PA

#7109 Dec 16, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
Cleveland Browns Head Coach Rob Chudzinski was stopped for speeding last night, but will not contest the charge, saying he'd take three points from anyone.
At least,he's honest....

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7110 Dec 17, 2013
Did you hear that Lorena Bobbitt was in a car wreck?

Some dick cut her off.
hoppydankle

United States

#7111 Dec 17, 2013
This slick city man figured he'd go upstate and do some pheasant hunting.

With no regard to private property or trespassing signs, he barreled his big SUV up a little side road where he discovered a great looking field with the grass about chest high, Autumn Olive trees scattered throughout. Perfect spot!

He hadn't walked 30 feet when a big pheasant popped out of the grass and took to flight. BLAM! His first shot killed the bird and he watched it fall to the ground.

When he got to the area the grouse fell, he had to cross a fence to retrieve his quarry. He climbed over the fence, and just as he was about to pick up the bird, he heard a loud voice behind him.

A man was headed toward him and said,
"HEY! Wait just a minute! Do you know you're on private property?"

The city slicker replied, "No, sure didn't. Don't care either."

Agitated by the city slickers curt reply, the property owner said, "Well, since you're on private property, MY private property, that deems the downed pheasant is mine! But, if you don't want to get into trouble for hunting on private property, I shall make you an offer so you can keep the bird and go about your way."

The city slicker was curious about the offer and surely didn't want to get into trouble, so he inquired to the owner the nature of the offer.

The owner replied, "Well, it's kind of a game where we kick each other between the legs as hard as possible. The one who doesn't scream, cry, whimper, or make any sound whatsoever will win the pheasant."

The city slicker was over six feet tall and well built. He looked at the property owner, an old man, no more than 135 pounds. He knew he could kick the poor old man into oblivion. He took the ol man up on the offer.

"Good" The owner said. "I'll go first."

The city slicker got in a comfortable stance, his feet apart, crouching slightly.

The old man came over and judged the distance by swinging his foot from crotch to the ground. He finally got it sized up and reared his boot back and WHACK! Bullseye! Boot met gonads with thundering force and accuracy!

The city slicker gritted his teeth and tears filled his eyes. He shuddered for a few seconds an finally let out a deep breath. He was in some serious pain!

After about a minute or so of panting and walking around, gut throbbing, the city slicker finally composed himself enough to go to the property owner so he can give his big revenge kick. He scowled at the owner and snarled "YOUR TURN OLD MAN!"

Walking away, the owner said, "Ah, that's all right. You keep the pheasant. I've done killed twelve this week."
hoppydankle

United States

#7112 Dec 17, 2013
Pardon the insertion of grouse, didn't proofread thoroughly. : )

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7113 Dec 18, 2013
Today is the last day to get your letters to the Post Office and be guaranteed delivery by Christmas.

In 2016.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7114 Dec 18, 2013
I'll bet Kim Jong-Un's family will be getting him some fantastic Christmas gifts this year.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7115 Dec 19, 2013
A guy at work had his wife's name tattoo'd on his arm but got a divorce and had it removed.

He says that even though we all call him Lefty now, it was still worth it.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#7116 Dec 19, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
I'll bet Kim Jong-Un's family will be getting him some fantastic Christmas gifts this year.
They got him a life size anatomically correct Dennis Rodman doll, oops, I mean they got him an actual Dennis Rodman. And bunkbeds.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7117 Dec 20, 2013
"Your adorable," she texted.

"No," I replied. "YOU'RE adorable."

Now she likes me, and all I did was point out her typo.

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#7118 Dec 20, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
"Your adorable," she texted.

"No," I replied. "YOU'RE adorable."

Now she likes me, and all I did was point out her typo.
YOU'RE precious!

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#7119 Dec 21, 2013
Brandiiiiiiii wrote:
<quoted text>
YOU'RE precious!
No, YOU'RE precious!

“Proud White Woman for life!”

Level 8

Since: Apr 09

Spotted World

#7120 Dec 21, 2013
What does a sperm cell and a lawyer have in common?

Both have a 1 in a million chance of turning into a human being.
Parden Pard

Catasauqua, PA

#7121 Dec 21, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
No, YOU'RE precious!
Everyone knows her as Brandiiii,,,,duhhhh,?

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