“Merry Christmas”

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Cincinnati, OH

#6894 Sep 22, 2013
Ozzy Osburne once bit the head off a bat. Not to be out done, Chuck Norris bit off Batmans head.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6895 Sep 22, 2013
God is still a little pissed at Chuck Norris for using his halo to kill so many people, but he won't say anything to him about it

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6896 Sep 23, 2013
I was embarrassed when the girls started pointing at the big bulge in my swim trunks.


All because I couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6897 Sep 23, 2013
The only reason Usain Bolt is officially the fastest manin the world is because no one has bothered to clock people who run from Chuck Norris.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6898 Sep 24, 2013
My wife said she absolutely hates the new TV we brought into the house last weekend.

Apparently, he keeps taking her clothes.

“Merry Christmas”

Level 8

Since: Dec 08

Cincinnati, OH

#6899 Sep 24, 2013
What do you call a cow with no legs?


Ground Beef
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6900 Sep 24, 2013
Chuck Norris plucks his nose hairs with a set of vise grips.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6901 Sep 25, 2013
The London Zoo closed its reptile house after a King Cobra snake couldn't be located. Apparently, the snake had been digging a tunnel for years.

I wonder if it was hidden behind a poster of a sexy eel?

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6902 Sep 25, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
The London Zoo closed its reptile house after a King Cobra snake couldn't be located. Apparently, the snake had been digging a tunnel for years.
I wonder if it was hidden behind a poster of a sexy eel?
Was that the Shawsnake Redemption?
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6903 Sep 25, 2013
Chuck Norris cut himself while trimming his beard. When he was 6.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6904 Sep 25, 2013
Chuck Norris was expelled from the third grade for knocking up his teacher. For the second time.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6905 Sep 26, 2013
A study indicates that woman gain more weight after getting married, while men gain more weight after a divorce.

The divorce usually happens after men point out that the woman has put on weight after getting married.
Parden Pard

Bath, PA

#6906 Sep 26, 2013
Chuck Norris was asked to throw the first pitch at a baseball game.He threw the ball, zipped to the plate and hit a 497' home-run....(using the weighted bat).
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6907 Sep 27, 2013
Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6908 Sep 28, 2013
I was kind of worried about my cousin starting a six year prison term but it looks like he's settling in well.

He just changed his Facebook status to "In A Relationship."

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6909 Sep 28, 2013
My aunt and uncle are both in their late 80's and they're part of the fastest growing segment of Internet users: the elderly. They send e-mail, chat, and Skype with their friends.

Often, they do it with the computer turned on.

Level 1

Since: Sep 13

Fredericksburg, VA

#6910 Sep 28, 2013
well today I went to a walk up bank. A elderly lady was standing there . acting confused. she turned to me an said"sweetie will you ck my balance? so I shoved her.
Parden Pard

Bath, PA

#6911 Sep 28, 2013
Sweet six year old ,little Annie had enough BS from her new liberal Bible teacher. So in class, the teacher asked Little Annie,,Is there really someplace really bad, like Hell,,,,?
Annie sez,"Why don't you go there and let us know"!!
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6912 Sep 29, 2013
Chuck Norris has a pet kitten. Every night. For a snack.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6913 Sep 29, 2013
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.

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