Come on...Tell me a joke

Posted in the Weird Forum

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“I'm burning up!!”

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Since: Dec 08

The fiery pits of hell

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#6894
Sep 22, 2013
 
Ozzy Osburne once bit the head off a bat. Not to be out done, Chuck Norris bit off Batmans head.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6895
Sep 22, 2013
 
God is still a little pissed at Chuck Norris for using his halo to kill so many people, but he won't say anything to him about it

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#6896
Sep 23, 2013
 

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I was embarrassed when the girls started pointing at the big bulge in my swim trunks.


All because I couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6897
Sep 23, 2013
 

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The only reason Usain Bolt is officially the fastest manin the world is because no one has bothered to clock people who run from Chuck Norris.

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#6898
Sep 24, 2013
 

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My wife said she absolutely hates the new TV we brought into the house last weekend.

Apparently, he keeps taking her clothes.

“I'm burning up!!”

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#6899
Sep 24, 2013
 

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What do you call a cow with no legs?


Ground Beef
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6900
Sep 24, 2013
 
Chuck Norris plucks his nose hairs with a set of vise grips.

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#6901
Sep 25, 2013
 
The London Zoo closed its reptile house after a King Cobra snake couldn't be located. Apparently, the snake had been digging a tunnel for years.

I wonder if it was hidden behind a poster of a sexy eel?

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#6902
Sep 25, 2013
 

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Hoof Arted wrote:
The London Zoo closed its reptile house after a King Cobra snake couldn't be located. Apparently, the snake had been digging a tunnel for years.
I wonder if it was hidden behind a poster of a sexy eel?
Was that the Shawsnake Redemption?
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6903
Sep 25, 2013
 
Chuck Norris cut himself while trimming his beard. When he was 6.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6904
Sep 25, 2013
 

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Chuck Norris was expelled from the third grade for knocking up his teacher. For the second time.

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#6905
Sep 26, 2013
 

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A study indicates that woman gain more weight after getting married, while men gain more weight after a divorce.

The divorce usually happens after men point out that the woman has put on weight after getting married.
Parden Pard

Catasauqua, PA

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#6906
Sep 26, 2013
 
Chuck Norris was asked to throw the first pitch at a baseball game.He threw the ball, zipped to the plate and hit a 497' home-run....(using the weighted bat).
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6907
Sep 27, 2013
 

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Chuck Norris clips his toenails with a chain saw.

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#6908
Sep 28, 2013
 

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I was kind of worried about my cousin starting a six year prison term but it looks like he's settling in well.

He just changed his Facebook status to "In A Relationship."

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#6909
Sep 28, 2013
 

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My aunt and uncle are both in their late 80's and they're part of the fastest growing segment of Internet users: the elderly. They send e-mail, chat, and Skype with their friends.

Often, they do it with the computer turned on.

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Stafford, VA

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#6910
Sep 28, 2013
 

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well today I went to a walk up bank. A elderly lady was standing there . acting confused. she turned to me an said"sweetie will you ck my balance? so I shoved her.
Parden Pard

Catasauqua, PA

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#6911
Sep 28, 2013
 

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Sweet six year old ,little Annie had enough BS from her new liberal Bible teacher. So in class, the teacher asked Little Annie,,Is there really someplace really bad, like Hell,,,,?
Annie sez,"Why don't you go there and let us know"!!
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6912
Sep 29, 2013
 

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Chuck Norris has a pet kitten. Every night. For a snack.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6913
Sep 29, 2013
 

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Chuck Norris threw it.

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