Come on...Tell me a joke

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joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6853
Sep 11, 2013
 

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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old, he raped a pedophile.

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#6854
Sep 12, 2013
 

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ATTENTION:

Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?

They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.

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#6855
Sep 12, 2013
 
When I got home from a business trip Saturday afternoon I found my wife cooking a fancy dinner with candles on the table set for two.

"Well, this is a surprise," I said.

"Sure is," she replied, glancing towards the bedroom. "I didn't expect you back until tomorrow."

“Hi!”

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#6856
Sep 12, 2013
 
Hoof Arted wrote:
ATTENTION:

Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?

They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.
Uuummmmm ;)

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#6857
Sep 12, 2013
 
Hoof Arted wrote:
ATTENTION:
Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?
They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.
When I take a massive dump, I yell, "Takin' the Browns to the Super Bowl!"
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6858
Sep 12, 2013
 
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

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#6859
Sep 13, 2013
 
The Miami Dolphins won their season opener against the Cleveland Browns last Sunday.

Rob Chudzinski, Browns head coach, said "I don't know what happened out there."

Later, Joe Philbin, Dolphins head coach, said "I don't know what happened out there."

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#6860
Sep 13, 2013
 
Standing on the porch of our just completed four bedroom home with three car garage, admiring the huge yard and two new cars in the driveway, I spread my arms wide and said "One day, son, all this will have to be paid for."

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#6861
Sep 13, 2013
 
A suicide bomber walks through the gates of hell and is welcomed by the Devil.

And an apologetic Muhammad.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6862
Sep 13, 2013
 
When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

“Colleges Search Engine ”

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www.schoolanduniversity.com

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#6863
Sep 14, 2013
 

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A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him,“I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we’ll talk about it.”

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said,“Son, I’m really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”

The young man waited a moment and then replied,“You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”

His father replied,“Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went.”

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#6864
Sep 14, 2013
 

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We went to an authentic Mexican restaruant last night.

The waiter brought out glasses of water and advised us not to drink it.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6865
Sep 15, 2013
 
A woman once got pregnant just by sitting on Chuck Norris's couch.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6866
Sep 15, 2013
 
Chuck Norris's sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each on is the size of a tadpole.

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#6867
Sep 15, 2013
 
After my wife asked for the fifth time "Is it in yet?" I got fed up and backed the car into the garage for her.
Waynoidz

Clearwater, FL

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#6868
Sep 15, 2013
 
On the 1st day of school, Mary skips into class late & the Teacher asks, Mary, why are you so late, and Mary says that she was up on the hill blowing bubbles. Ok, Mary, take a seat. A few minutes later, Jennifer walks in & the Teacher asks her was she was running late Oh, Teacher, I was up on the hillside blowing bubbles. Ok, don't be so late next time, have a seat. A few minues later, A little boy saunters in with a huge grin on his face. Ok, young man, the Teacher asks, why are you so late. I'm Bubbles!

“Here To Make FEMALE Friends”

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#6869
Sep 15, 2013
 

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A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve pieces of string around these parts!"

So, the string goes outside, does a little twist, messes his hair up and walks back in to order another drink.

Bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string that was just in here!?"

String says, "I'm afrayed knot"

Get it? Nyuck nyuck nyuck

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#6870
Sep 16, 2013
 

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"Benjamin Button."

"Benjamin who?"

"Benjamin."

"Who's there?"

"Knock! Knock!"
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6871
Sep 16, 2013
 

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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray on his steak.

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#6872
Sep 17, 2013
 

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"You do realize," my wife said, "my mother will be here for dinner any minute?"

"Yes," I replied. "I'm getting ready now."

"That sounds like her car pulling up the driveway."

"No, that's my taxi. I'll see you later."

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