joke

Owensboro, KY

#6853 Sep 11, 2013
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old, he raped a pedophile.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6854 Sep 12, 2013
ATTENTION:

Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?

They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6855 Sep 12, 2013
When I got home from a business trip Saturday afternoon I found my wife cooking a fancy dinner with candles on the table set for two.

"Well, this is a surprise," I said.

"Sure is," she replied, glancing towards the bedroom. "I didn't expect you back until tomorrow."

“Hi!”

Level 2

Since: Jun 12

Location hidden

#6856 Sep 12, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
ATTENTION:

Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?

They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.
Uuummmmm ;)

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6857 Sep 12, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
ATTENTION:
Will the lady who dropped her cub scout troop off at the Dallas Cowb... I mean... Cleveland Stadium please pick them up?
They're beating the Browns 21 - 7.
When I take a massive dump, I yell, "Takin' the Browns to the Super Bowl!"
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6858 Sep 12, 2013
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6859 Sep 13, 2013
The Miami Dolphins won their season opener against the Cleveland Browns last Sunday.

Rob Chudzinski, Browns head coach, said "I don't know what happened out there."

Later, Joe Philbin, Dolphins head coach, said "I don't know what happened out there."

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6860 Sep 13, 2013
Standing on the porch of our just completed four bedroom home with three car garage, admiring the huge yard and two new cars in the driveway, I spread my arms wide and said "One day, son, all this will have to be paid for."

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6861 Sep 13, 2013
A suicide bomber walks through the gates of hell and is welcomed by the Devil.

And an apologetic Muhammad.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6862 Sep 13, 2013
When Chuck Norris was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

“Colleges Search Engine ”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

www.schoolanduniversity.com

#6863 Sep 14, 2013
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him,“I’ll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study the bible a little, and get your hair cut; then we’ll talk about it.”

A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if he could use the car. His father said,“Son, I’m really proud of you. You brought your grades up, studied the bible well, but you didn’t get your hair cut!”

The young man waited a moment and then replied,“You know dad, I’ve been thinking about that. Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.”

His father replied,“Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went.”

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6864 Sep 14, 2013
We went to an authentic Mexican restaruant last night.

The waiter brought out glasses of water and advised us not to drink it.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6865 Sep 15, 2013
A woman once got pregnant just by sitting on Chuck Norris's couch.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6866 Sep 15, 2013
Chuck Norris's sperm can be seen with the naked eye. Each on is the size of a tadpole.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6867 Sep 15, 2013
After my wife asked for the fifth time "Is it in yet?" I got fed up and backed the car into the garage for her.
Waynoidz

Dunedin, FL

#6868 Sep 15, 2013
On the 1st day of school, Mary skips into class late & the Teacher asks, Mary, why are you so late, and Mary says that she was up on the hill blowing bubbles. Ok, Mary, take a seat. A few minutes later, Jennifer walks in & the Teacher asks her was she was running late Oh, Teacher, I was up on the hillside blowing bubbles. Ok, don't be so late next time, have a seat. A few minues later, A little boy saunters in with a huge grin on his face. Ok, young man, the Teacher asks, why are you so late. I'm Bubbles!

“Here To Make FEMALE Friends”

Level 1

Since: Jul 12

Location hidden

#6869 Sep 15, 2013
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve pieces of string around these parts!"

So, the string goes outside, does a little twist, messes his hair up and walks back in to order another drink.

Bartender says, "Hey! Aren't you that piece of string that was just in here!?"

String says, "I'm afrayed knot"

Get it? Nyuck nyuck nyuck

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6870 Sep 16, 2013
"Benjamin Button."

"Benjamin who?"

"Benjamin."

"Who's there?"

"Knock! Knock!"
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6871 Sep 16, 2013
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray on his steak.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6872 Sep 17, 2013
"You do realize," my wife said, "my mother will be here for dinner any minute?"

"Yes," I replied. "I'm getting ready now."

"That sounds like her car pulling up the driveway."

"No, that's my taxi. I'll see you later."

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
What are you thinking about now? (Jun '10) 5 min dragoon70056 26,012
Evolution vs. Creation (Jul '11) 6 min SobieskiSavedEurope 134,363
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 9 min Wolftracks 152,855
El's Kitchen (Feb '09) 13 min Shaddup 37,785
Is it possible to....... 16 min CJ Rocker 598
BAN(N) the P0STER Above you !!! (Feb '14) 20 min Enzo49 3,033
Should the St Patricks Day parade be open to th... 1 hr dragoon70056 12
Woman Switches Seats on Plane, Spends 3 Days in... 4 hr TALLYHO 8541 28
More from around the web