Come on...Tell me a joke

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6771 Aug 21, 2013
Creativethinks wrote:
sory guys,
tomorrow i will...
And to think that this was your second post.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6772 Aug 21, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
We were sitting in a traffic jam when my wife suddenly said "Oh, look at that beautiful caterpillar."
Her obsession with construction machinery is really out of hand.
Off topic, I'm not in the field, but I've always loved big CAT machinery. Really are beautiful.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6773 Aug 21, 2013
Chuck Norris don't know about these jokes or he would delete the internet.

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6774 Aug 22, 2013
Going to college, and the higlight of your experience is bulding the tallest lego tower. Well actually kind of impressive, goodness I'm easily amused and impressed.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6775 Aug 22, 2013
John Denver wrote "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" when Chuck Norris moved to the city.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6776 Aug 23, 2013
"Total cost will be....$8,500," said the funeral director. "That includes digging the grave."

"Is that the whole thing?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, smiling. "That's 'the hole thing.'"

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6777 Aug 23, 2013
The wife and I went to a restaurant Saturday evening, and the hostess said "I'm sorry, but no tables are open right now. Would you mind waiting for about ten minutes?"

"That will be okay," I said.

"Great!" she responded. "Take these over to table six, then."
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6778 Aug 23, 2013
Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6779 Aug 24, 2013
In The News: "I would like to be treated as a woman" - Pvt Bradley Manning

Not the words I would be using before being locked up with hundreds of rapists for 35 years.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6781 Aug 25, 2013
Chuck Norris could never be brought to trial because he has no peers.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6782 Aug 25, 2013
When Chuck Norris turned six he threw his parents out of the house.

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

La Mesa, CA

#6783 Aug 25, 2013
A guy is walking down the street and he hears someone saying, "13, 13, 13 ..." He ignores it but it gets louder: "13, 13, 13 ..." Then it starts getting quieter, so he figures he must have passed the source. Curious, he turns around and tries to find it. The voice gets louder: "13, 13, 13, 13 ..." He sees a small hole in the bottom of a fence, so he kneels down and looks in the hole, and as he does so a finger comes out and pokes him in the eye. He says, "Ow!" Then he hears, "14, 14, 14, 14 ..."

“I had just dozed off into a stupor when I heard what I thought was myself talking to myself. I didn’t pay much attention to it, as I knew practically everything I would have to say to myself, and wasn’t particularly interested.”
-Robert Benchley

Level 1

Since: Aug 13

La Mesa, CA

#6784 Aug 25, 2013
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.

Fun Fact: Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris was born 10 March 1940. He is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. As a result of his "tough guy" image, an internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible or even impossible feats to Norris.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6785 Aug 26, 2013
My kids and I chatted for a while and then they left.

Home School reunions are pretty boring.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6786 Aug 26, 2013
ALaughterClub wrote:
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Fun Fact: Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris was born 10 March 1940. He is an American martial artist and actor. After serving in the United States Air Force, he began his rise to fame as a martial artist and has since founded his own school, Chun Kuk Do. As a result of his "tough guy" image, an internet phenomenon began in 2005 known as Chuck Norris facts, ascribing various implausible or even impossible feats to Norris.
Chuck Norris read your comment, and called to make me give you an "Agree" icon.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6787 Aug 26, 2013
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6788 Aug 27, 2013
My buddy said that he owes everything he's made in his life to his wife.

I think he should have hired a better lawyer.

“Dark Lord of All.”

Level 5

Since: Jun 13

The Untempered Schism.

#6789 Aug 27, 2013
Q: How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The light bulb must find $80,000 dollars to become clear, then it will have the self-determinism to change itself.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6790 Aug 27, 2013
George Forman has a Chuck Norris grill.
Parden Pard

Nazareth, PA

#6791 Aug 27, 2013
joke wrote:
George Forman has a Chuck Norris grill.
Big deal,,,,(yawn) Chuck Norris plays golf with Vladimir Putin....

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