joke

Owensboro, KY

#6640 Jul 19, 2013
When you say, no one's perfect Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6641 Jul 19, 2013
DondoDork wrote:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some school work."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother .
The robot is now on eBay.
LOL!!!
And lol again. Thanks for that DD!

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6642 Jul 19, 2013
An American, Canadian, and Pollock are at a bar comparing dumb wife stories. The American starts: "My wife is so dumb, she ordered a top-of-the-line Italian racing bicycle on line, and she doesn’t even know how to ride a bike".
The Canadian goes next: "Yeah? Well, my wife had a huge pool installed in our back yard, and she doesn't even know how to swim!"
Then the Pollock chimes in: "That’s nothing! My wife took her vacation on a cruise with her 3 girlfriends, and brought a whole carton of condoms. And she doesn't even have a penis!”
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

#6643 Jul 19, 2013
doc: "Your wife has acute angina."

old man:<with a big grin> "yeah I know."
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

#6644 Jul 19, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
My buddy said his "plump" wife has been going to the gym and it's costing him $800 a month.
"Membership fees are that high?" I asked.
"No," he replied. "Treadmill repairs."
jesus, I just got your name

I'm sorry

Level 4

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6645 Jul 20, 2013
Women are magical:

They can get wet without water. They bleed without being injured.
They can make milk without eating grass. They can make boneless meat rock hard.
Ginger

Catasauqua, PA

#6646 Jul 20, 2013
JM_Brazil wrote:
An American, Canadian, and Pollock are at a bar comparing dumb wife stories. The American starts: "My wife is so dumb, she ordered a top-of-the-line Italian racing bicycle on line, and she doesn’t even know how to ride a bike".
The Canadian goes next: "Yeah? Well, my wife had a huge pool installed in our back yard, and she doesn't even know how to swim!"
Then the Pollock chimes in: "That’s nothing! My wife took her vacation on a cruise with her 3 girlfriends, and brought a whole carton of condoms. And she doesn't even have a penis!”
I don't get that last part.
Ginger

Catasauqua, PA

#6647 Jul 20, 2013
Asitshouldbe wrote:
Women are magical:
They can get wet without water. They bleed without being injured.
They can make milk without eating grass. They can make boneless meat rock hard.
U mean they can't cook and the meat turns into a rock ?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6648 Jul 20, 2013
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>jesus, I just got your name
I'm sorry
Sometimes you can actually see the light bulb light up, can't ya?

LOL.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6649 Jul 20, 2013
My wife keeps complaining about my acting immature and making a joke out of just about anything, so I thought to prove her wrong. I sat down with my coffee for a serious read of the news on the 'net and got "Helmet Water Leak Halts ISS Spacewalk"

She's not talking to me again.
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

#6650 Jul 20, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
My wife keeps complaining about my acting immature and making a joke out of just about anything, so I thought to prove her wrong. I sat down with my coffee for a serious read of the news on the 'net and got "Helmet Water Leak Halts ISS Spacewalk"
She's not talking to me again.
my girlfriend says I may be old but my i keeps immaturity youthful
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

#6651 Jul 20, 2013
or sumptin like that

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6652 Jul 20, 2013
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>my girlfriend says I may be old but my i keeps immaturity youthful
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>or sumptin like that




Uh-oh. I understood that.
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

#6653 Jul 20, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
Uh-oh. I understood that.
ain't it a shame

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6654 Jul 20, 2013
You're the one to blame &#9835;
Theoretical Question

United States

#6655 Jul 20, 2013
So, Sweetie-Pie takes all of his profiles to a Miami Walmart, and each one of them is permitted only one item. How long before the entire store (merchandise and building) disappears?
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6656 Jul 20, 2013
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
a_visitor

Center Valley, PA

#6657 Jul 20, 2013
Theoretical Question wrote:
So, Sweetie-Pie takes all of his profiles to a Miami Walmart, and each one of them is permitted only one item. How long before the entire store (merchandise and building) disappears?
good one. I'll have to say maybe......about.... 4 hours.
frog

Logan, OH

#6658 Jul 20, 2013
Do you think that when Mrs god is having good sex she yells out chuck noriss' name?
tina

Raeford, NC

#6659 Jul 20, 2013
if a couple in west Virginia get divorced , would that still make them brother and sister.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 22 min wichita-rick 147,617
Add a word and drop a word (Jan '14) 32 min Crazy Jae 1,418
Evolution vs. Creation (Jul '11) 38 min replaytime 117,349
Offbeat Happy Thread (Aug '12) 38 min CJ Rocker 161
What are you thinking about now? (Jun '10) 49 min -Lea- 21,356
I Like..... (Mar '14) 52 min beatlesinthebog 375
Add a Word remove a Word (Oct '13) 1 hr Crazy Jae 1,374
Do you have a Topix crush? (Jun '11) 2 hr Princess Hey 6,370
Woman Held in Jail for Weeks Over SpaghettiOs 3 hr NOM s Waffle House 9
Official: Oklahoma beheading suspect a bit 'weird' 5 hr Streetrunner 33

Weird People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE