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joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6640
Jul 19, 2013
 
When you say, no one's perfect Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

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#6641
Jul 19, 2013
 
DondoDork wrote:
A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie.
He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some school work."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mum laughs and says, "Well he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother .
The robot is now on eBay.
LOL!!!
And lol again. Thanks for that DD!

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

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#6642
Jul 19, 2013
 
An American, Canadian, and Pollock are at a bar comparing dumb wife stories. The American starts: "My wife is so dumb, she ordered a top-of-the-line Italian racing bicycle on line, and she doesn’t even know how to ride a bike".
The Canadian goes next: "Yeah? Well, my wife had a huge pool installed in our back yard, and she doesn't even know how to swim!"
Then the Pollock chimes in: "That’s nothing! My wife took her vacation on a cruise with her 3 girlfriends, and brought a whole carton of condoms. And she doesn't even have a penis!”
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

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#6643
Jul 19, 2013
 

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doc: "Your wife has acute angina."

old man:<with a big grin> "yeah I know."
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

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#6644
Jul 19, 2013
 

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Hoof Arted wrote:
My buddy said his "plump" wife has been going to the gym and it's costing him $800 a month.
"Membership fees are that high?" I asked.
"No," he replied. "Treadmill repairs."
jesus, I just got your name

I'm sorry

Level 4

Since: May 13

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#6645
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Women are magical:

They can get wet without water. They bleed without being injured.
They can make milk without eating grass. They can make boneless meat rock hard.
Ginger

Allentown, PA

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#6646
Jul 20, 2013
 

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JM_Brazil wrote:
An American, Canadian, and Pollock are at a bar comparing dumb wife stories. The American starts: "My wife is so dumb, she ordered a top-of-the-line Italian racing bicycle on line, and she doesn’t even know how to ride a bike".
The Canadian goes next: "Yeah? Well, my wife had a huge pool installed in our back yard, and she doesn't even know how to swim!"
Then the Pollock chimes in: "That’s nothing! My wife took her vacation on a cruise with her 3 girlfriends, and brought a whole carton of condoms. And she doesn't even have a penis!”
I don't get that last part.
Ginger

Allentown, PA

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#6647
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Asitshouldbe wrote:
Women are magical:
They can get wet without water. They bleed without being injured.
They can make milk without eating grass. They can make boneless meat rock hard.
U mean they can't cook and the meat turns into a rock ?

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Since: Dec 10

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#6648
Jul 20, 2013
 

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LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>jesus, I just got your name
I'm sorry
Sometimes you can actually see the light bulb light up, can't ya?

LOL.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#6649
Jul 20, 2013
 
My wife keeps complaining about my acting immature and making a joke out of just about anything, so I thought to prove her wrong. I sat down with my coffee for a serious read of the news on the 'net and got "Helmet Water Leak Halts ISS Spacewalk"

She's not talking to me again.
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

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#6650
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Hoof Arted wrote:
My wife keeps complaining about my acting immature and making a joke out of just about anything, so I thought to prove her wrong. I sat down with my coffee for a serious read of the news on the 'net and got "Helmet Water Leak Halts ISS Spacewalk"
She's not talking to me again.
my girlfriend says I may be old but my i keeps immaturity youthful
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

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#6651
Jul 20, 2013
 

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or sumptin like that

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#6652
Jul 20, 2013
 
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>my girlfriend says I may be old but my i keeps immaturity youthful
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI wrote:
<quoted text>or sumptin like that




Uh-oh. I understood that.
LOST IN MISSISSIPPI

Ludington, MI

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#6653
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
<quoted text>
Uh-oh. I understood that.
ain't it a shame

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

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#6654
Jul 20, 2013
 
You're the one to blame &#9835;
Theoretical Question

United States

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#6655
Jul 20, 2013
 

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So, Sweetie-Pie takes all of his profiles to a Miami Walmart, and each one of them is permitted only one item. How long before the entire store (merchandise and building) disappears?
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6656
Jul 20, 2013
 
Chuck Norris shot the sheriff but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
a_visitor

Bethlehem, PA

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#6657
Jul 20, 2013
 

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Theoretical Question wrote:
So, Sweetie-Pie takes all of his profiles to a Miami Walmart, and each one of them is permitted only one item. How long before the entire store (merchandise and building) disappears?
good one. I'll have to say maybe......about.... 4 hours.
frog

Logan, OH

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#6658
Jul 20, 2013
 
Do you think that when Mrs god is having good sex she yells out chuck noriss' name?
tina

Smithfield, NC

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#6659
Jul 20, 2013
 

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if a couple in west Virginia get divorced , would that still make them brother and sister.

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