Come on...Tell me a joke

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6559 Jun 25, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
I suspect there were plenty of people who didn't get it, were too embarrassed to ask and were grateful for the question.
Sometimes I gotta ask.
I posted a geek joke, but not sure if people understood it, just in case I'll post it again;

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Blue_Eye_Gemini
Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6560 Jun 25, 2013
ummmmm!

Level 1

Since: Jun 13

Cincinnati, OH

#6561 Jun 25, 2013
What happens to a UK Basketball player when he goes pro?
Answer: He gets a pay cut.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6563 Jun 26, 2013
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

“Colleges Search Engine ”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

www.schoolanduniversity.com

#6564 Jun 27, 2013
I've realized that instead of posting all my problems on Facebook, its better to find solutions for them on Google.

“Colleges Search Engine ”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

www.schoolanduniversity.com

#6565 Jun 27, 2013
When he arrives St. Peter looks at the book and scratches his head. He says 'You were involved in some great civil engineering projects so I ought to let you into heaven but you were also involved in weapons programs that resulted in great loss of life''I am sorry but you will have to go to hell'. Well, the engineer arrived in hell and found it very hot - so he installed air conditioning. He also found it dry - so he installed clean running water. He then thought it was a bit dark so he installed decent lighting. The devil was very pleased and rang St. Peter to gloat 'thanks for sending me that engineer, he has made hell a really nice place'. Oh dear' said St. Peter (that was the nearest he got to swearing)'if he can tame hell I must have made a mistake. Send him back up here.' Naturally, the devil refused so St. Peter said 'if you don't I will sue you'. The devil just laughed and said 'Where are you going to find a lawyer?'
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6567 Jun 27, 2013
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6568 Jun 27, 2013
Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucksup.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6569 Jun 28, 2013
My buddy was telling me about the U.S. Government planting surveillance equipment all over the place.

"That's absolutely ridiculous," replied a street sign.
joke

Owensboro, KY

#6570 Jun 29, 2013
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6571 Jun 30, 2013
The kid ahead of me at the barber shop asked Clyde, the barber, "Can you cut my hair like Brad Pitt?"

"Sure, son," Clyde replied.

After Clyde finished the kid looked in the mirror and said "What the hell? My hair looks TERRIBLE. I asked you to cut my hair like Brad Pitt!"

"I did," Clyde said. "Brad Pitt might be a great actor but he's a terrible barber."
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6572 Jun 30, 2013
If Chuck Norris wants your opinion, heíll beat it into you.

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6573 Jul 1, 2013
If you watch the movie "The Karate Kid" backwards it's about a martial arts champion who falls under the sway of an eccentric Japanese guy. After many pointless "wax on, wax off" exercises, the old man's way to get free car washes, the champ's martial arts skills deteriorate to the point that he gets a vicious beating.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6574 Jul 1, 2013
Stephen Hawking found out the hard way not to mess with Chuck Norris

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6575 Jul 2, 2013
An encyclopedia salesman knocks on the door of a house he is hoping to make a sale at. A boy of around 12 answers the door, wearing his fatherís robe, slippers, and glasses, with a snifter of brandy in one hand, and a smoking cigar in the other. "May I help you?" inquires the boy. "Is your father home?" asks the salesman. The boy responds in an arrogant tone "what do you think?"

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6576 Jul 2, 2013
Two Jehova Witnesses came to my door yesterday, and when I opened the door I yelled and started to push them off the porch. One of the two grabbed my arm and spun be around, and I ended up in some kinda wrestling hold

"Hi," said the first guy. "I'm brother Joe and this is brother Steve, who is with the Witness protection program."
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6577 Jul 2, 2013
Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian racehorse

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6578 Jul 2, 2013
When Chuck Norris says jump, the world says how high?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6579 Jul 3, 2013
My buddy said his wife gives him fantastic head

aches.

“Colleges Search Engine ”

Level 8

Since: Mar 12

www.schoolanduniversity.com

#6580 Jul 3, 2013
Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.

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