Come on...Tell me a joke

Blue_Eye_Gemini
Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6539 Jun 22, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
<quoted text>
I suspect there were plenty of people who didn't get it, were too embarrassed to ask and were grateful for the question.
Sometimes I gotta ask.
I know, sometimes I'm embarrassed to ask, when really I should be able to get a joke.:))
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6540 Jun 22, 2013
Some kids pee their names in snow. Chuck Norris can pee his name in dry concrete.

“Denny Crain”

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6541 Jun 22, 2013
Blue_Eye_Gemini wrote:
<quoted text>
OK, Thank you!
Tiger Woods mistress married a golfer. On their wedding night they went to the room and did the deed. He gets up and goes to the phone and she says what are you doing? He said I am calling room service for a bottle of wine. She says but we just made love once.That is not the way Tiger would have done it. He gets back in bed and they have sex again. He gets out of bed and goes to the phone and she say Darlin we only had sex twice and that is not the way Tiger would have done it. He gets back in bed and has sex again. He gets up and goes to the phone and she says are you calling room service for the wine and he says no. I am calling Tiger and finding out what is par for this hole :)

Blue_Eye_Gemini
Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6542 Jun 22, 2013
Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Tiger Woods mistress married a golfer. On their wedding night they went to the room and did the deed. He gets up and goes to the phone and she says what are you doing? He said I am calling room service for a bottle of wine. She says but we just made love once.That is not the way Tiger would have done it. He gets back in bed and they have sex again. He gets out of bed and goes to the phone and she say Darlin we only had sex twice and that is not the way Tiger would have done it. He gets back in bed and has sex again. He gets up and goes to the phone and she says are you calling room service for the wine and he says no. I am calling Tiger and finding out what is par for this hole :)
I got it! Wow, there is hope for me after all.:))

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6543 Jun 22, 2013
My brother said he's found a wood that lowers his golf score.
It's called a "pencil."

“Denny Crain”

Level 8

Since: Jan 11

Location hidden

#6544 Jun 22, 2013
Blue_Eye_Gemini wrote:
<quoted text>
I got it! Wow, there is hope for me after all.:))
Always Darlin.:)I gave up golf and took up bowling. I don't loose as many balls :)

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#6545 Jun 22, 2013
Gud'n Denny!
'i' hope he doesn't mention 'yards'/hole...

“"*" Always Thinking "*"”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#6546 Jun 22, 2013
You may have to look-it-up and think 'dirty' to get the humor.

Blue_Eye_Gemini
Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6547 Jun 22, 2013
Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Always Darlin.:)I gave up golf and took up bowling. I don't loose as many balls :)
You know Darlin rhymes with my first name.

“My Bad! Just hold me. ”

Level 9

Since: Aug 07

Orion's Belt

#6548 Jun 22, 2013
If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce

(joke can be a quote, right?)

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6549 Jun 22, 2013
Denny CranesPlace wrote:
<quoted text>Always Darlin.:)I gave up golf and took up bowling. I don't loose as many balls :)
Now if THAT ain't an opening for a balls joke I don't know what is.

Must.

Resist.

Temptation.

To.

Respond.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6550 Jun 22, 2013
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 55 minutes having sex with his waitress.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6551 Jun 23, 2013
Chuck Norris is not Irish. His hair is soaked in the blood of his victims.

Blue_Eye_Gemini
Level 6

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6552 Jun 24, 2013
That's a joke?

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6553 Jun 24, 2013
The wife and I took a tour behind the scenes at Sea World and got to see some of the office areas. One of the computers had a screensaver of people walking around an office filing stuff.
joke

Newburgh, IN

#6554 Jun 24, 2013
Chuck Norris made Crystal Gayle's brown eye blue

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6555 Jun 24, 2013
joke wrote:
Chuck Norris made Crystal Gayle's brown eye blue
I thought she sings "donuts make my brown eyes blue"

Level 8

Since: Dec 10

Location hidden

#6556 Jun 24, 2013
My buddy was in the mental hospital, where he wrote on the walls with his own poop, then ran around naked with his underwear over his head.

He isn't allowed to visit anymore.

“So it's not you, It's them?”

Level 9

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#6557 Jun 24, 2013
Hoof Arted wrote:
My buddy was in the mental hospital, where he wrote on the walls with his own poop, then ran around naked with his underwear over his head.
He isn't allowed to visit anymore.
Visit? I'd heard somewhere that he was one of the shrinks there!

“Up with which, I will not put”

Since: Jul 08

Sao Paulo

#6558 Jun 25, 2013
How many psychiatrist does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but the lightbulb has to really want to change.

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