Since: Sep 07

Coxsackie, NY

#43 Jan 31, 2008
Rick is a straight married man.

ROFLMFAO HAHAHAHA LOL LMAO
skipper

Hephzibah, GA

#44 Jan 31, 2008
What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an American zoo?

An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with a recipe.
DUH-INTERMISSION

Clovis, NM

#46 Jan 31, 2008
.....>>>>> >>>>> INTERMISSION <<<<<<< <<<<<.....
.
.
.
Please allow us five minutes to catch our breaths, You all are cracking us plumb up.

LMFAO... WHEW... So far I think HIP leads though...
----------

Two guys were on each side of the river at night. The one said , "I want to come over to your side."

"I tell ya what, I will shine my flashlight to you, and you can walk across the water on my light"

the DUh said... "You think I am stupid or something, BOut the time I get halway across, you will turn the danged flashlight off."

Level 1

Since: Aug 07

Warren, MI

#47 Jan 31, 2008
What do older women have between their breast that younger women do not?

A belly button!

Level 1

Since: Aug 07

Warren, MI

#48 Jan 31, 2008
What do twenty women in a battered women's shelter have in common?

They just wouldn't listen.

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#49 Feb 1, 2008
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says:'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner.'

2nd Hillbilly says:'Why is that stupid?'

1st Hillbilly says:'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly says:'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one of

them new fangled warshin ' machines!'

1st Hillbilly says:'Why is that so stupid?'

2nd Hillbilly says:''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'

3rd Hillbilly says:'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer

wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin' fer

some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'

1st and 2nd Hillbillies say:'Well, what's so dumb about that?'

3rd Hillbilly says:'She ain't got no pecker.

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#50 Feb 1, 2008
Blonde lady went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain - "i would like to buy this tv," she told the salesman - "sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied -

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "i would like to buy this tv."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied -

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought - she went for a complete disguise this time - hair cut, new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she approached the salesman again - "i would like to buy this tv," she said -
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied -

Frustrated she exclaimed, "how do you know that i am a blonde?" -

"because that's a microwave"!!!!!!!!

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#51 Feb 1, 2008
opistoglyph wrote:
Rick is a straight married man.
ROFLMFAO HAHAHAHA LOL LMAO
are you two still fueding

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#52 Feb 1, 2008
Does your dog Bite

There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was sitting on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" the tourist asked.

The old man replied, "Nope."

So the tourist stepped out of his car. The dog ran over snarling and growling and bit him on his arms and legs. As the dog was dragging him away the tourist was flailing around in the dust and yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"

The old man replied, "Ain't my dog

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#53 Feb 1, 2008
Marilyn wrote:
LMAO.... all my funny favs here...Skipper, Justa, O', Hipp, LL, Tallyho, TBT..
Mo res you're being lazy, and MH is along for the ride? LOL Just like me... thanks, keep it up....
<Blowing kisses>
(No, MH...JUST kisses)
There Is That Better LOL.
beatlesinthebog

Christchurch, New Zealand

#54 Feb 1, 2008
Hipp wrote:
What's better than winning a gold medal at the special olympics?
>
>
>
>
Not being retarded.
HOOO HOOO HOOO!!!
beatlesinthebog

Christchurch, New Zealand

#55 Feb 1, 2008
What do moslem women use for birth control?

“Runs Like a Deere”

Since: Jan 07

Rome, GA

#56 Feb 1, 2008
mo res wrote:
Does your dog Bite
There was a hound dog laying in the yard. An old man in overalls was sitting on the porch. "Excuse me, sir, but does your dog bite?" the tourist asked.
The old man replied, "Nope."
So the tourist stepped out of his car. The dog ran over snarling and growling and bit him on his arms and legs. As the dog was dragging him away the tourist was flailing around in the dust and yelled, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!"
The old man replied, "Ain't my dog


Does your dog bite?




1941

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#57 Feb 1, 2008
man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls - they went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,'this bull mated 50 times last year'

the wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, "he mated 50 times last year."

they walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,'this bull mated 150 times last year'

the wife gave her husband a healthy jab an said, "that's more than twice a week! you could learn a lot from him"

they walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters,'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

the wife, so excited that her elbow nearly broke her husband's ribs, said, "that's once a day - you could REALLY learn something from this one!"

the husband looked at her and said, "go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow."

the husband's condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and he should eventually make a full recovery

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#58 Feb 1, 2008
lets see if this will make it thru,

the blonde brought her vibe back asked for a refund, the clerk asked her what was wrong with it " well to be honest it is chipping my teeth"

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#59 Feb 1, 2008
I posted this in froggies some time back but thought I would put it here as well.

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.

"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.

"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"

"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house."

So the bartender gives him another tripple scotch and again he gulps it down.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"

"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"

"Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?"

"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said......BAD DOG

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#60 Feb 1, 2008
my ex thinks I am a regular comedian / why is that do you ask?? well every time I ask her to go to bed she says " don't make me laugh"
DUH-TRUCK-ERR

Clovis, NM

#61 Feb 1, 2008
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.
The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of yourload."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.

When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car,runs up and knocks on the door.
Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my
name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.

At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again she says "Hi, my
name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"

When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light.

When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says...

"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in West Virginia and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK

“....VETS”

Level 9

Since: Jan 08

WELCOME HOME

#62 Feb 1, 2008
Tom stopping at his brother's house finding sister-in-law in just her panties decided to offer her money for sex and yes they did , upon his departure she gets a phone call from her hubby " I AM SORRY I HAVE TO WORK LATE " thats ok dear " BY THE WAY DID YOU GET THE MONEY I SENT OVER THIS MORNING WITH MY BROTHER?"
Dan

Billerica, MA

#63 Feb 1, 2008
Don't know if this is true or not but here it is.

Hymn #365

This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said,'And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said,'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, Id take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing,'For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365,'Shall We Gather at the River.'

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