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“http://www.stude ntshelp.info”

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#6209
Apr 1, 2013
 
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

“http://www.stude ntshelp.info”

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#6210
Apr 1, 2013
 
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

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#6211
Apr 1, 2013
 
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.

“http://www.stude ntshelp.info”

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#6212
Apr 1, 2013
 
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

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#6213
Apr 1, 2013
 
While eating lunch, I said to the wife "Amazing. There's an article here in the Scientific Journal that says blades of grass can actually feel pain."

"Nice try," she said, "but the lawnmower's in the shed."
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6214
Apr 1, 2013
 

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A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, "Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night." The first guy replies, "I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning." The guy agrees to try that and continues drinking with him for two more hours before heading home to give it a try. When he got home, the house was pitch black. He sneaks upstairs into the bedroom, pulled back the covers and proceeded to lick for 20 minutes. The bed was like a swamp so he decided to wash his face. As he walked into the bathroom, his wife was sitting on the toilet. Seeing her he screamed, "What the hell are you doing in here?!" "Quiet!", she exclaimed. "You'll wake my mother."

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#6215
Apr 1, 2013
 
Pakistan is opening a new zoo in the town where the raid on Osama Bin Laden took place.

It's really neat, but you won't be able to see the seals until it's too late.
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6216
Apr 1, 2013
 

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What does a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend have in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Lizz

Reading, PA

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#6217
Apr 1, 2013
 
joke wrote:
What does a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend have in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Clever one, I like.

“Seriously guys...”

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The 'Shwa

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#6219
Apr 1, 2013
 
winfredable wrote:
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Yeah but on the plus side, you can get weed delivered to your house faster than a pizza :-D

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#6220
Apr 1, 2013
 
look in the mirror what do you see ........
booo r ya scard,.....wanwannwannn

“http://www.stude ntshelp.info”

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#6221
Apr 2, 2013
 
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

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#6222
Apr 2, 2013
 
winfredable wrote:
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Call for a pizza and have the delivery guy swing by the police station and pick up a cop on his way to your place.

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#6223
Apr 2, 2013
 
I asked a housing contractor what he would charge to install windows for me, and he quoted me $4,000.
A pimply faced kid down at the computer store did it for $250.

That just goes to show that you can save a few bucks if you shop around.

“"Always Thinking"”

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Greensburg, IN

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#6224
Apr 2, 2013
 
You want'a hear a good joke click Obama Care thread.

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#6225
Apr 2, 2013
 

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Ya gotta agree that Americans owe a huge debt for what Obama has done while in office.

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#6226
Apr 2, 2013
 
Frank Brown showed me his willy today!"

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#6227
Apr 2, 2013
 

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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!"
joke

Owensboro, KY

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#6228
Apr 2, 2013
 

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My internal medicine doctor referred me to a urologist. To my surprise, the urologist was a female ..... beautiful and unbelievably sexy looking. She told me that I have to stop masturbating. I asked her why ? She said, "Because I am trying to examine you".

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#6229
Apr 3, 2013
 
I applied for a job as a Sinatra look alike but didn't get hired.

I'm just not good enough, to be Frank.

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