Michelle O, visits the Obama Care Doc...

Michelle O, visits the Obama Care Doctor about her gas problem.

Posted in the Weird Forum

Ina

Pulaski, WI

#1 Dec 14, 2013
Michelle O, visits the Obama Care Doctor about her gas problem.

Doctor it be deh Holiday season in deh White House and so why does muh first lady farts an muh offal stink so f**kin bad?

Well Michelle, you lard @ssed oinker, listen carefully......... Water is absorbed out of fecal material as it passes through the intestine, so the longer a turd resides inside before emerging, the drier it will be.
Michelle, you lard @ssed oinker, 2/3 of your turd is water. Of the remaining portion of the turd, about 1/3 is composed of dead bacteria. These microcorpses come from your intestinal garden of microorganisms that assist you in the digestion of food. Another 1/3 of the turd mass is made of stuff that we find indigestible, like cellulose, for instance. This indigestible material is called "fiber," and is useful in getting your big 60 mm Diameter turds to move along through your big intestine, perhaps because it provides traction. The remaining portion of your turd is a mixture of fats such as cholesterol, inorganic salts like phosphates, live bacteria, dead cells, and mucus from the lining of the intestine, and protein. Your 60 mm logs stink as a result of the products of bacterial action. Bacteria produce smelly, sulfur-rich organic compounds such as indole, skatole, and mercaptans, and the inorganic gas hydrogen sulfide. These are the same compounds that give your big Queenie farts that God awful odor. Michelle, Borock 's and your floaters are turds that have an unusually high gas content. Sometimes the gas's produced by bacteria in your big queenie and Kingie guts don't have a chance to collect into one of your large fart bubbles but remain dispersed in the feces. The poop then comes out foamy and frothy and has a lower density than water. Poop with a high fat content will also float. Michelle, lay off those greasy Burger Whoppers and those sticky yellow-gray grits from Denny's. that you have delivered to the back door every evening. Say no, to that spicey and extra greasy Popeye Chicken too. And forget about washing everything down with a 40 oz. big Maltie. Michelle you big @ssed caboose, drink plenty of water instead. Go to the Fleet Farm Store and buy one of those 50 lb. salt blocks ..... set it up in the foyer and give it a lick when ever you walk by .
Dr. Hiemlich Litmus.
Wikipedia

Pulaski, WI

#2 Dec 17, 2013
25 mm = 1.0 in.
60 mm = 2.4 in.
2.4 in.= Clydsdale Horse

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
all songs with the word "don't in their ... 4 min KNIGHT DeVINE 74
The last word in the sentence must rhyme with t... 5 min andet1987 698
Word Association (Jun '10) 6 min Mega Monster 30,307
Word Association (Mar '10) 6 min Mega Monster 19,270
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 10 min TheJerseyDevil 181,640
WHAT???? A NEW word game? FOUR WORDS (Sep '08) 11 min andet1987 43,110
Roger Waters Calls Donald Trump ‘Pig-Ignorant’ 13 min TheJerseyDevil 91
Denny Crain's Place (May '10) 1 hr Matter Of Factly 19,149
JUST SAY SOMETHING. Whatever comes to mind!! (Aug '09) 2 hr In Love Forever 31,288
More from around the web