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121 - 140 of 182 Comments Last updated Jul 18, 2014

“What?”

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#124
Apr 26, 2012
 
Our family has a thick file at the local P.D. No lies

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Since: Aug 11

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#125
Apr 26, 2012
 
Sad but Wiser wrote:
<quoted text>
I only received soap in the mouth a few times. But, I did get slapped repeatedly, and beaten with a belt repeatedly, in addition to a few other 'punishments'. But, I don't think I was a 'bad' child. Parents wanted to 'make an example of me'---for my siblings. I was the oldest of five, from my mother's first marriage, adopted by her second husband, who was a loser that spent 3 years in prison and was told, as a child, that it was 'my responsibility' to set an example and had to help raise the other four. WTF? They weren't MY children, they were HERS/THEIRS. And, I think that neither of these people had a clue, as how to raise children. Their philosophy? If your kids don't " mind"- beat them into submission. Well, that philosophy doesn't help people develop thinking skills, or learn how to make good decisions, it just creates *ANGRY* and rebellious people. And I think that a lot of the beatings were due to being overwhelmed by the reality of having 5 kids, no support system, we were pretty much socially isolated, and the financial burden/ responsibility of actually raising 5 kids (ESPECIALLY, if the woman ALSO has to 'raise' her irresponsible husband.) A really good book to read, TOXIC PARENTS by Dr. Susan Forward.*sigh* used to think that I wanted kids, but, I am afraid that I would raise them the way I was raised just hitting/ beating on them when I am angry, frustrated or overwhelmed or when I had negative emotions that I need to dispel. You tend to raise kids the way you were raised, so,NO KIDS FOR ME! Wouldn't do that to someone else. My 2 cents worth.
i agree with you and am sorry that you had to suffer such pain and abuse . there is a difference between a spanking and abuse though and a parent should never spank or hit out in anger cool down and then give the corrective measure , the child will learn from the verbal warning and from the spanking not to do what ever it was that got him in trouble .
i would never condone harsh beatings or abuse but a regular spanking does and will work wonders .

and again i am sorry for your plight as a child i hope your scars heal some as an adult .

“What?”

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#126
Apr 26, 2012
 

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home in lincoln county wrote:
<quoted text>i agree with you and am sorry that you had to suffer such pain and abuse . there is a difference between a spanking and abuse though and a parent should never spank or hit out in anger cool down and then give the corrective measure , the child will learn from the verbal warning and from the spanking not to do what ever it was that got him in trouble .
i would never condone harsh beatings or abuse but a regular spanking does and will work wonders .

and again i am sorry for your plight as a child i hope your scars heal some as an adult .
my mother just called to wish me a Happy Birthday -- she gave me some $$$. I am working on 'forgiving' the crap we went through as kids. My mother and I have a sick sort of relationship though, it is based primarily on money.
Jeff

Rancho Cucamonga, CA

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#127
Jul 20, 2012
 
I got whipped with a belt on my bare butt and penis. It hur a lot but I don't blame her for doing it. I would spank kids if I had them, but not on their privates and not bare.
Rennie

New Westminster, Canada

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#128
Aug 2, 2012
 
An over-the-knee spanking on the bare bottom is a perfectly natural form of educative correction. As for how the spanking is administered (palm, paddle, hairbrush, slipper, strap), several factors have to be considered; the age and the size of the child (the bigger the bottom, the more spanking it requires); the overall temperament of the child (recalcitrant or generally well-behaved); the relative seriousness of the transgression.

I recommend a couch or the side of a bed for ensuring that only the child's upturned bum will be uncomfortable. And the spanking should be given in a measured and methodical fashion, thoroughly warming and reddening the naughty bottom globes and the ultrasensitive sit spot.

The fact that I was never spanked growing up made it that much harder for me to get a handle on the critical lesson of Actions & Consequences. A soundly spanked bottom would surely have been a better teaching aid than making me feel that I was a bad person for what I'd done.

“I know where you are,”

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Since: Jun 08

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#129
Aug 2, 2012
 

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What is wrong with you people? Hitting children? You all do realize that child psychology 101 is free at damn near every community college in the land, right?
Rennie

New Westminster, Canada

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#130
Aug 2, 2012
 
Lynda_W wrote:
NO it is not abuse, and if more people did it routinely we might not need to have full-time police officers in the schools and all these zero-tolerance laws. It also does not matter the gender, mom or dad can spank son or daughter, it's all okay (I thought I'd hit that next question off at the pass)
I agree with you completely, Lynda. Well, maybe not "routinely." A bare bottom spanking should be seen as a serious consequence - very definitely 'a big deal.' If it's otherwise kept on the shelf, then its use becomes that much more memorable.

The spanker should be the one to bare the child's bottom, and you're 100% right when you say "mom or dad can spank son or daughter." I'm especially in favour of mothers doing the spanking. Just the relative fullness of that parent/child relationship, I think, makes them better suited to enabling the spanking to be more than simply the infliction of pain.

But no, this notion of children reaching an age where only the same-sex parent should spank them does nothing but undermine the deterrent value of the punishment. It's actually saying that there's something inherently dodgy about spanking a child on the bare bottom, and I don't believe that at all.
Sandra

Glasgow, UK

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#131
Aug 20, 2012
 
I turned out ok, I am in my 40's now. I grew up in a strict house, where actually my Mom wore the pants... BUT it was my father, whom my sister and I got a whooping from if we misbehaved. Mom would tell dad when he got in from work what we did (usually me. I never got on with my Mom). After his dinner, I (usually, sometimes my sister), would be taken to a private room, and whooped soundly over my fathers knee (always on clothes, never panties or bare bottom)and sent to bed. I think this was not abuse. Last time I was even spanked over the knee was when I was about 10.

My Mom was more cruel, she would yell/scream at me in public (when I was naughty) and slap my face (winter) or bare thighs (summer). This had more a profound impact on me, than my father's whoopings.

Mom's outbursts were done out of pure anger, and when I think back on it, they scared me a hell of a lot more than any whooping from my dad!

“It's all in the mind”

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Since: Aug 12

Looneyville, TX

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#132
Aug 20, 2012
 

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I can't recall ever having received a spanking when I was a child but I knew better than to push those buttons. Overall, I think children these days are not taught respect and the result is horrendous. I also never spanked my children but again, I didn't have to. They understood a warning and took it seriously. I'm not opposed to spankings and my brother got a few but he learned quickly. Parents are far too lenient. My grandmother used to say, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". I grew up in a strict home that didn't require spankings nor did it have room for spoiling. My children are being raised in the same type of environment.

“I know where you are,”

Level 8

Since: Jun 08

Right here under my thumb

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#133
Aug 21, 2012
 
Norma Leigh Lucid wrote:
I can't recall ever having received a spanking when I was a child but I knew better than to push those buttons. Overall, I think children these days are not taught respect and the result is horrendous. I also never spanked my children but again, I didn't have to. They understood a warning and took it seriously. I'm not opposed to spankings and my brother got a few but he learned quickly. Parents are far too lenient. My grandmother used to say, "Spare the rod and spoil the child". I grew up in a strict home that didn't require spankings nor did it have room for spoiling. My children are being raised in the same type of environment.
I do believe it all has to do with the way your parents and their parents were raised. Although I would never hit a child, and never have - I know a lot of people who were raised in a corporal punishment type of household than turned out ok too. I raised my kids in a mature environment - teaching them that respect has to be earned at a very early age. Having respect for your parents does have its benefits - I never went to school with a black eye or a broken arm - at least not from "falling off the swing set again." A tap on the butt may seem harmless and to the parent, may be the quick and dirty method of ending a tantrum, but using psychology is just as easy. Kids are not reflective, they take in more than they give - they are impressionable and mimic the methods of upbringing. They see the world through the eyes of their parent(s)- giving them a view of a world that is violence-free at home will give them a very different view of life once they are out on their own.
Hoosier Hillbilly

Georgetown, IN

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#134
Aug 21, 2012
 
*=* NO *=*

?\\\ world that is violence-free ///?
Where do you go to find that??????????

“I know where you are,”

Level 8

Since: Jun 08

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#135
Aug 21, 2012
 
Hoosier Hillbilly wrote:
*=* NO *=*
?\\\ world that is violence-free ///?
Where do you go to find that??????????
I must admit it would be hard to find - but my remark was ment to be more retoracle than actual. Better question - what would a world without violence be like?

“It's all in the mind”

Level 8

Since: Aug 12

Looneyville, TX

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#136
Aug 21, 2012
 
milwaukee69 wrote:
<quoted text>
I do believe it all has to do with the way your parents and their parents were raised. Although I would never hit a child, and never have - I know a lot of people who were raised in a corporal punishment type of household than turned out ok too. I raised my kids in a mature environment - teaching them that respect has to be earned at a very early age. Having respect for your parents does have its benefits - I never went to school with a black eye or a broken arm - at least not from "falling off the swing set again." A tap on the butt may seem harmless and to the parent, may be the quick and dirty method of ending a tantrum, but using psychology is just as easy. Kids are not reflective, they take in more than they give - they are impressionable and mimic the methods of upbringing. They see the world through the eyes of their parent(s)- giving them a view of a world that is violence-free at home will give them a very different view of life once they are out on their own.
That's a good post and very accurate. I suppose we are all different. I know it would be extremely difficult for me to strike a child and I suppose that's the reason I never did. I guess I always felt any type of spanking induced "violent tendencies" but I've known lots of people that were spanked and grew up fine. I think a smack on a fully clothed behind would perhaps teach a lesson but often times temper creates a much more severe reaction for those that feel spanking is the correct punishment. Like I said, I remember my brother getting a couple of spankings although they weren't severe and he is fine. In fact, he's much more successful than me so maybe I should have gotten a few. LOL. It's an individual choice and although I can't clearly say, I am opposed to spanking, I do think there's a right way and a wrong way. I'm just not an advocate for violence or hitting in any way. When I am my angriest, I tend to just walk away until I can think rationally. I don't want to be hit so I don't hit others. Thank goodness, I've never felt the need to strike someone else, especially a child. I don't think I would like myself much if I did. But, we are all different in how we feel or react and especially how we teach our children. Unfortunately, there's no definitive right or wrong when it comes to raising children except in the extreme.

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Since: Dec 12

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#137
Dec 15, 2012
 
No, it is not child abuse. In fact it is the best way to spank a child.
Disco age

Palm Harbor, FL

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#138
Apr 18, 2013
 

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Abel Lewis wrote:
This is my opinion and my opinion only. Spanking a child over the knee on their bare bottom is discipline to me. It's not child abuse to me. Spanking with wooden hairbrushes and paddles is discipline to me too. It's not child abuse to me either. Spanking does not work on every child. Because every child is not the same. What may work on one child will not work on the other child. If a child deserve a spanking over the knee on their bare bottom with a wooden hairbrush or the hand then they should get it. I don't have kids. But I believe in spanking. There will be no arguing, no judging parents, and there will be no telling parents they are child abusers just because they spank their kids. There is a difference between a beating and a spanking. A spanking is when a child has a BRIGHT RED BOTTOM.
A beating is when the child has permanent marks, bruises, the child is bleeding blood.
So i'm just wondering do you think spanking a child over the knee on the bare bottom is discipline or child abuse?
In my opinion, spanking a child, especially a small one with a paddle or wooden hairbrush, just because you don't wanna hurt your hand, IS abuse! I can understand giving a pre-pubescent child a Bare-Bottom Spanking, but to spank a teenager like that, indeed, to spank a teenager at all, is SICK, unless they did something horrible. For example, I read about parents that spank their teenager on the bare bottom just smoking reefer!!!!! Since I grew up during the 1960s and 1970s, if I found out that my kid smoked pot, I wouldn't punish them. I'd say, "don't bogart that joint, my friend, pass it on over to me"!

“My Bad! Just hold me. ”

Level 9

Since: Aug 07

Orion's Belt

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#139
Apr 18, 2013
 
Spanking a child okay.
Pulling a child's clothing off to do so. Not okay.

Spanking a child for the right reason, okay.
Spanking a child out of anger, bad idea.

Spanking a child while young, okay.
Spanking a child past age 12, not a good idea.
Disco age

Palm Harbor, FL

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#140
Apr 18, 2013
 
Rennie wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with you completely, Lynda. Well, maybe not "routinely." A bare bottom spanking should be seen as a serious consequence - very definitely 'a big deal.' If it's otherwise kept on the shelf, then its use becomes that much more memorable.
The spanker should be the one to bare the child's bottom, and you're 100% right when you say "mom or dad can spank son or daughter." I'm especially in favour of mothers doing the spanking. Just the relative fullness of that parent/child relationship, I think, makes them better suited to enabling the spanking to be more than simply the infliction of pain.
But no, this notion of children reaching an age where only the same-sex parent should spank them does nothing but undermine the deterrent value of the punishment. It's actually saying that there's something inherently dodgy about spanking a child on the bare bottom, and I don't believe that at all.
I don't agree with that last paragraph of your comment. Allowing a man to spank the BARE-BOTTOM of a teenage girl, or boy for that matter, is "opening a can of worms" that should be left closed. Do you realize the risk you are taking allowing something like that? Y'know, maybe you're a nice, decent person but, a lot of people are not, and would LOVE to do that to a child just to get "their jollies off"! Besides which, don't you think that a teenage kid is a little too old for something like that, even if it is well-intentioned?
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#141
Apr 18, 2013
 
It's not so much that its' abbuse it that children do not understand why they are being hit. You have to take time to teach children not to do certain things. You have to repeat many times for them to learn.
When you hit a child they only know that you are mad. You have to explain why they can not do things and once the know right from wrong then you can spank or do what ever you choose for punishment.

No one wants to be hit even as Adults. There are better ways to deal with issues than hitting.
Keith

Poplar Bluff, MO

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#143
Sep 2, 2013
 

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Spanking a child over the knee and on the bare bottom is not child abuse unless you make it abusive. It's a form of punishment for disobedience and, even, a form of child-parent bonding.

“So it's not you, It's them?”

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Since: Jun 11

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#144
Sep 2, 2013
 

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Keith wrote:
Spanking a child over the knee and on the bare bottom is not child abuse unless you make it abusive. It's a form of punishment for disobedience and, even, a form of child-parent bonding.
"A form of child-parent bonding?" You're kidding, right? How does that bare bottomed child "bond" with the spanking parent? Take your time answering...we'll wait!

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